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Avatar universal

My bf said im getting mad over something stupid....

But really its not! When we found out I was pregnant he stopped.kissin me and hugging me and said we.cant have sex.till after the baby is born and he wont even help pick names and he doesnt want the baby to have his last name...wtf!!!!!.</3 im heartbroken and always crying bout each of these problems..he said no sex cuz he dosent want to poke the baby wtff...im only 11 weeks 6 days last we did.anything was new years eve :'(
19 Responses
4838207 tn?1363917730
Why doesn't he want the baby to have his last name? Have you told him how this makes you feel?
13167 tn?1327194124
Some men are just scared of damaging a baby,  or really,  they're kind of turned off by pregnancy,  and he can't help that.

The one thing that I think is a real concern is he doesn't want to give the baby his name.  

He really doesn't sound like he wants to be a dad - were you trying to get pregnant,  or did this happen by accident?
Avatar universal
Maybe he needs to educate himself. No matter how "big" he thinks he is he can't even get close to poking the baby & sex during pregnancy is healthy for you & baby. I think there are bigger problems here since he really wants no physical contact with you & is distancing himself from the baby by not wanting to help & what man doesn't want his baby to have his last name?
4715985 tn?1371582997
Seems to me that he doesnt want anything to do with the baby :( i mean its one thing not wanting to have sex cuz hes worried (almost every man go threw it) but not wanting to have the same last name sounds like hes not going to stick around for very long. Id be careful of i were u and be open for tge possibility. Ur baby comes first now :) no matter what happens just stay strong and do whats right for u and the baby
Avatar universal
He hates his last name is what he says and no it was planned... And I have told him how I feel now hes playin a video game and im layin down...at night we.cuddle but thats all...
Avatar universal
Liking you last name has nothing to do with it. There are other problems. Ask if he is bothered by something or worried about things since it's more real now that you are actually pregnant.
4715985 tn?1371582997
Seriously! There are alot of bad last name out there but u suck it up and just go with it.
Avatar universal
I did he said no...he mentioned wht if somethin happened with us whyd I want baby to have his last name...but im to point I dont wanr to b pregnant anymore....:'( and never want to c him anymore
Avatar universal
But I have no family n no place to go...and his last names love...
3744707 tn?1402187570
omg why is he being so selfish ;(
and wat daddy wouldnt want his own kiddo to have his last name
i would be concerned about everything he is trying to avoid. sounds to me like he dosent plan to stick for long or idk i can be wrong.
but dont feel like that baby is gunna be your everything youll love the baby more than him. you guys just really need to talk seriously though

Avatar universal
He wont...im bout to just leave...go walking...then maybe he'll quit bein a dumb a$$
4838207 tn?1363917730
That baby is your main priority right now you need to see if he plans on being there for you guys and if not you need to start thinking about what you are going to do for you and the baby because it really sounds like he doesn't plan on being there but I'm sorry to hear about your situation and if you need to talk you can message me :)
3744707 tn?1402187570
aweee that *****. but yes go take a little walk it help aliitle to calm you down
im sure you feel ****** and theres nothing i can do but just smile and be happy im sure your baby feels your emotions. everything will be fine
sometimes we gotta go thru tough stuff with our mans but just stay strong you never know what the future holds for you.:D<3
Avatar universal
</3
13167 tn?1327194124
Hmm.  "Love" isn't a bad last name.  There ARE some horrible last names,  that you honestly wouldn't wish on anyone else,  so it would be understandable,  but Love isn't one of those.  

Sunshine,  his statement that "what if something happened between us" to me - means he's about to take off.  

BTW,  he won't stop being a dumb a** if you do something overly dramatic like take off walking and put yourself and your baby at risk.  That's not the answer.

You don't list in your profile where you live,  but I think at this point you might want to call a crisis pregnancy center and ask for help with housing or services.  There are catholic relief agencies who are dedicated to making sure young unmarried women don't have to resort to abortion,  and they'll help you.

And after you solve this crisis,  you need to put down more roots so that you have dear friends that you can count on,  and they can count on you.  Being without any kind of support whatsoever besides this one guy makes you really vulnerable and dependent.  
Avatar universal
Even if something happened to you two the baby would still be his. It really sounds like he is distancing himself from you & baby. People who are ready to be parents & have a family don't say things like "what if we split up"
Avatar universal
Dang girl if your not showing put on something sexy. Do your hair and get on your knees and give him something. Seriously dont be whining about it. Don't care, be strong, be independent.
Avatar universal
Im not whining...and going for a walk isnt puttin me or baby at risk...and it matters when hes scared ill walk away...
3763041 tn?1354906251
I don't think it means he will leave just  he is scared, my bf hours through sports of this and it ***** when they say such mean stuff, but he will realize he is being stupid and say sorry. Maybe just let him know you aren't going to take his words to heart, that you know how he is feeling, its a big change, and you are there to discuss anything he might need to discuss. Be his backbone and show him how family should be towards each other. A walk is a great idea
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13167 tn?1327194124
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