10720243 tn?1415582269

Not connected towards baby

Hey y'all. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. And I just don't feel emotionally connected towards this baby. Almost to the point to where I'm contemplating on why we planned this pregnancy in the first place. I've even thought to myself that this baby could probably be adopted and I wouldn't mind.

It sounds so awful typing it out. I do love this baby. But not in the way you'd think. If that makes sense.

I'm not even motivated to buy any baby stuff. I've bought one box of diapers, and a swing, and one or two outfits.

I felt the same way with my first. I wasn't really attached. Though I was more attached than this pregnancy.
But after my first was born, I didn't really fall in love with her until months after she was born.

I know I'll love this baby just as much. It'll just take time.
Anyone else feel like this.
2 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi there sweetie.  You know, I'm sure you'll love this baby when she arrives.  I remember when I was pregnant with my second which I had wanted very much, I wondered if the new baby would interfere with what already felt like a happy life.  I think it's so funny I worried about that now with how much I adore this kid.  But I'd look at my older son and think -- I hope I just didn't ruin your life.  ha. I was tired with a toddler (my boys are 15 months apart in age), worried about money, highly hormonal, on and on. And that you felt the same way about your first kind of tells me this is how your hormones react in terms of your mood.  You DID fall in love with your baby even if not immediate (and the truth is, for some --  bonding does take a little time).  So, anyway, hang in there.  Maybe your mom or someone can help you with getting a few things you'll need for new baby.  You're almost done with pregnancy, YAY!  Hang in there and hugs.  
Thanks for the encouragement! I do think that this is just hormones and how I handle pregnancy. I know once she gets here and we form an actual relationship and bond I'll love her to death.
And I totally understand about the interfering with your currently happy life! I think that's a big part for me. My daughter turned two Dec 17th, and I just look at her and can't imagine having another baby along with her. My daughter is truly my best friend. (Especially as a stay at home mom, lol!)

It's going to be a completely strange transition. I just cross my fingers it goes smoothly.
Avatar universal
I totally understand how you feel. Took me a while to feel like a mother with my first daughter. And now I can't imagine my life without her!!
I'm 36 weeks with a second girl now, my first daughter is only 16 months. She was a micropreemie and has been through a lot!! So I almost feel guilty having another baby.. I just don't want her to feel left out or jealous esp. since she's been through so much already!!
At the same time I'm hoping ill be able to connect to baby#2.. I haven't even bought anything for the new baby yet, just plan on reusing my daughter's things for the most part.
I'm sure we'll be ok once the babies come, just hoping its all hormones!! I'm also a stay at home mom, and I just keep telling myself that baby#2 is a gift for my daughter - younger sister, someone she'll be able to play with and grow up together!!
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.