OT - Think my DF is cheating......

[Annie2008]

Don't know why I do, but I do.  I have this overwhelming feeling that he is.  Out of the blue lately phone numbers have been coming up that I don't know, but he claims they are from work and that is boss is calling him on his own personal cell phone even though he's at work.  Out out of the blue also he has been working very late at night, but his checks are not reflecting all these overtime hours he claims he's putting in.  Again tonight he called me and told me he'll be late - it's 12am here, and he called me again and said that he'd be later maybe 1am.....I'm burst out crying, called him back and screamed at him and told him that he shouldn't be shocked if he finds himself locked out.....he just told me we'd discuss this when he got home - which he won't talk about it.  He laughs at me when I tell him I'm a little suspicous.  I told him to put himself in my shoes - I'm sitting at home, fattening up like a whale and he's all of a sudden calling me from work and coming home very very late with nothing to show for it.  He also decided he had to go to work for an hour this morning out of the blue.  I'm crying, shaking, not sure what to do..........but we are supposed to be getting married next Friday - sighs.  

Advice please!!!
Annie

[Gerry774]

Wow!! that sounds exactly what my friend was going through with her ex-husband.  He was working late and coming up with stupid excuses....and she was right and two kids later she divorced him.  He was fooling around with someone at work, and she tried calling all the numbers on his cell phone bill...and she secretly called the numbers that were obvious and got to speak to the actual mistress.  She went through alot but shes in a better place now.  I'm sorry your going through this, but I hope it gets better and you finally find out the truth.  Good Luck!!!!!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Usually when a woman has a suspicion she's right.  You can take those numbers and got to whitepages.com and do a reverse search if it's a landline and it will pull up who the number belongs to.  Doesn't work for cell phones though.  In that case you can usually press *67 plus the number and it will block your number and you can call and see who it is.  

I would try calling or going by his work when he is supposedly there.  

[Annie2008]

Thanks guys.......if this does continue I will start doing things I didn't think I would do, like find a way to go to his work and find out if he is really alone.  See he works by himself on 2nd shift, so it'd be so damn easy for him to cheat I think at work and fool me.  He got home at 1:30am last night and just like I suspected we didn't discuss nothing, expect he cant understand why all of a sudden I don't trust him.  Maybe it is my hormones and he's not really cheating.......this morning he wakes me up and keeps asking me when I lost trust in him.  He said he'll show me the check he gets next Friday to prove that the overtime will be on there.  I wanna beleive him, but a huge part of me doesn't and I hate feeling that way.  I'll keep updating I guess, and we will just see what happens.

[christi40]

I have been through this, as well.  It can make you feel like you are going crazy.  Just remember to be as calm as you can when confronting him.  Men shut down when we go nuts.  I am so sorry for you.  I know how this can consume you.  If you need to talk I am here.

[AngellaHas2]

I had the same feeling. And guess what I was right. But what I did was, i went to his work when he said he was there. I also called the numbers back on his phone. Might not sounds right. But you are about to take his last name. Just check into it.

[martikadragoon]

I'm very sorry your dealing with this, from the title of your post I first thought... well maybe it's hormones, but then you put details in the post that show up as red flags.

The suspicious cell phone numbers, The late hrs with no extra pay... and going to work for no reason.

First off I suggest when you see the #'s again, CALL THEM on your own phone if you have one and don't tell him. wait for voice mail or the person to answer.....

That might give you an answer and if you can keep your cool, IF It's really his boss, just tell them that you accidentally dialed the number as you were trying to hit another.

CONFRONT HIM CALMLY. Full out, Just tell him if he's cheating he needs to leave, and if he laughs it off put his stuff on the porch. Maybe he's getting nervous about the idea of being a daddy??

It's no excuse but I've heard of men doing stupid stuff before when they are stressed/worried/big changes in their lives.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to vent!

Cindie