Pregnant in a new country

[pepperpopper]

Hi all. I am thrilled to find out that I am pregnant. We have been trying for a few months after a traumatic loss last year. The issue is really around me being in a new and foreign country. Not only am I in the dark about the system here, hospitals and midwives, medicine and practices, I am lonely as well. I am not permitted to work, so there is not a social outlet for that. The locals are not particularly friendly towards foreigners, so it has been very difficult to meet and make friends. I have been here for just two months, but am worried about being alone all throughout my pregnancy. I have been fortunate to be a friend of a few moms-to-be throughout their term, and I was hoping that I too, would have girlfriends to share with. Any advice would be appreciated.

[kerriekab]

If you're not allowed to work you could join a class as the local college maybe to make some friends and learn some new skills. See if there are any "mum to be! meetings or groups you could join. Im sure there will be some sort of classes at the hospital which you can make friends at. Try to stay positive. It takes time to adjust and settle and im sure you will make some friends. Try getting ur husband to invite some colleagues round who are married so you can get to know thier wives and you might be able to join in their social circle. Good luck!

[pepperpopper]

Thank you for your replies. Unfortunately, I am not here because of the military, which I imagine would have social outlets through the other wives stationed there. I am in New Zealand, which doesn't sound exotiic, but is surprisingly very very different from the States. I have lived abroad before, but never have experienced this amount of trouble connecting with people. Maybe it's the city? Anyhow, the facts are the facts, and this location/situation is not working for me, and yet I have to somehow make it work because my husband is from here and is working on his Phd. I am just hoping to construct a system where I don't sink into a hole of depression and or frustration, as that is not the type of pregnancy I want to have :)

[smjmekg]

I'm not going to ask it again since it has been asked, but if you're in the new country because of military you may find it helpful to meet some wives. I too am in a foreign country, only 14 more days left until I return to the US, I'm in Korea. It took a while to meet someone, I only have one English speaking neighbor since we do not live on base. I can't say I have the foreigners not liking you problem, the Koreans are in general happy that we're here. I hope you find some people to befriend soon. I know how lonely it can be. If you have a web camera and family with one, Skype is an awesome program. It allows you to "call" another computer to talk to and see other people. I don't know how I could have survived without being able to talk to my family.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Are you in a new country becuase of military service?  What country are you in?

I had my middle two while we were stationed in Japan and even though I didn't have any real friends or family there aside from DH they were both very pleasant experiences and my kids have the "coolness" of saying they were born in a foreign country.

[babies366]

ah my thoughts r with u, feel for u i do iv not been in the same situation so extreme as urs but i sort of no wot ur goin thru, i was once on holiday with a friend n we fell out so for the rest of it which was another week i had 2 go out all by myself n meet new people which rely isnt like me but i was so alone, hope u meet some new people soon but in the mean time enjoy ur bump!