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Avatar universal

Prepartum depression

Hi everone in 22 and I'm having my 2nd child in a couple of days and I can't stop crying I'm really depressed and need some advice my boyfriend keeps yelling at me and walking out every time I cry and I'm giving up please help!!
6 Responses
202436 tn?1326477933
First of all...your boyfriend is an idiot.  Plain and simple.  Most men just don't get the fact that women go through all kinds of hormonal changes during pregnancy and we honestly can not help being emotional and crying over anything and everything.  It doesn't sound like he is very supportive at all.  You need to find someone, a trusted friend, parent, sibling, counselor...someone you can talk to.  It really helps to get those feelings out.  To be around someone who will allow you to cry to your hearts content without judging you or putting you down.  

I strongly urge you to talk to your obgyn, let him/her know what is going on.  Let them know that you are already experiencing signs of depression and that you don't have a very supportive bf and that you are afraid of developing post partum depression.  They can monitor you and even start you on something as soon as baby is born.  Even if you are planning to breastfeed you can take something like Zoloft.  I know from experience.  I take it.  

Please do not brush this off or let your boyfriend convince you that there is anythign wrong with you.  He obviously has NO clue.  Perhaps you could talk to your doctor in private and ask him/her to "randomly" bring up the subject of pregnancy hormones and post partum depression at some point when you bf is around.  Hopefully that would help make him understand what is going on.  

You can always just post here to vent/talk/rant/rave/etc.  Most all of us have been on the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy.  We understand :)
Avatar universal
Thanx for your reply it's good to know that u don't think I'm crazy too where I go for prenatal I don't ever see the same doctor I'm high risk cause of heart surgery so I go to the medical center and it's always five people in the room with Me. I don't really have much family at least sober family to get support only an aunt that always tells me what I'm doing wrong I love my bf but I feel like he hates me! He never wants to be around me cause I'm always crying I just need him to listen!! I also have two other 1 yr. Olds that I have all day and I don't want 2 b a bad mom but I feel like I dont give them enough attention I'm only 22 and ok going 2 have 3 kids around 24/7  Im going crazy!
202436 tn?1326477933
It's a big change and without any support it's difficult, but just the fact that you posted looking for some help shows me that you are a strong person and you find ways to handle things on your own.  You should check into parent groups in your area....meet other moms, maybe find a babysitting co-op where you can get some time to yourself.  Your bf needs to be more understanding, but well...like the saying goes...you can lead a horse to water but...yadda yadda...  Men can be very dense.  Your aunt doesn't sound very supportive/helpful either.  Sounds more like a pain the arse to me. Perhaps you could check into seeing a counselor?  Believe me,they really help.  It's sooo good to be able to just let everything out without being judged or put down.  It sounds like you've already had a rough time in your life...heart surgery, family issues...plus you're about to have 3 kids.  I really and truly think that a good counselor would be very beneficial to you.  He/She could really help you to work through your own emotions and also come to terms with WHY your family and your bf are the way they are.  I went to counseling for awhile and it was so wonderful I counted down the days til I could go back and see her again.  
Avatar universal
I would live to get a counslor to talk to but won't I have 2 watch what I sAy because what if I tell them I'm depressed and they call child services my kids r all I have and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't hAve them u know there is a difference in thinking things and actually doing them! Do u think  a counslor would really not judge me? I used to go 2 therapy as a kid cause I was in foster homes and my parents are on drugs and everytime u would reach out they would want to send me to different group homes and put me in these mets that basically sedated me I don't want that. How do I go about getting 1 of the counslors ur talking about? I also don't have money to pay for one I can barely pay for diapers but I do hAve Medicaid. Thanks Again 4 listening and answering it's been a long time since anyone has listened to me without telling me I brought it upon myself  
202436 tn?1326477933
Medicaid should definately cover it.  Just look in the phone book under counselors or psychologists.  As for reporting you.  Unless you are threatening harm to yourself or someone else or you report that you HAVE done something, (like molesting, abusing) then everything you say is in confidence.  I told my counselor on many occasions that I had felt like if it weren't for my kids I'd have "off'd" myself a long time ago.  I told her how I hadn't been able to care for my kids, that my oldest had been doing it.  You could also start with the obgyn office you go to.  Make an appt with them, tell whoever it is you see what has been going on and that you really feel you would benefit from seeing a counselor or psychologist.  ASk if they can refer you to a good one.  They can probably give you some names and maybe phone numbers.

As for being told you brought it on yourself.  True depression is an illness, it is not something one can help, it's not something that can be "brought upon yourself".  Just from the few things you have mentioned in your posts I would go out on a limb and say that you are definately clinically depressed and you need to get treatment for it, if for no other reason, your kids.  You want them to have a better life than you did but you can't do that until you have taken care of yourself first.  Are you religious?  Perhaps there is a pastor or someone you could speak to?  It also wouldn't hurt, if at some point, you could convince your b/f to sit in on a session or two, that way the counselor/psychologist could shed some light into his mind on why you act the way you do.  Your bf is obviously not taking into consideration your history, the hormonal changes, his idiotic behavior, financial stress and other factors that affect you.  

Ignore his lack of compassion, focus on making you better for yourself and your kids.  Just keep reminding yourself that just becuase HE says something doesn't make it true.
Avatar universal
Yeah I think youre right I'm going to look in the phone book for those numbers. Just talking to you alone has really made me feel better (thank you 4 that) so I think talking 2 a counslor would definately make a difference. If you don't mind can we still stay in contact and talk? I have NO female friends (really no friends at all) since I got pregnant with my other daughter 2 yrs ago. I'm only 22 and kind of have a trust issue due to being let down so many times. All I do is take care of the kids and go to doctors appts.   I have way too much time to think about depressing stuff. Well thanks again 4 ur replies!
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