florida child custody

[babymama1985]

So i went to see the lawyer and not good news on my front. The father can get the.child from.day one for 2 to 3.hours everyday. At his house. Pretty much if i look like i am deliberately trying to keep him.from.his son then they can take the baby from me and give him majority responsibility. That i pretty much have to call him once i have the baby while im.at the hospital. That i can actually set up a schedule now with him and we would decide on everything together. Even the name...which i havw already decided on by myself. But that they can even tell me to pump because if i dont then that is preventing him bonding with his son. Its like sacrifice after sacrifice while hw has already ruined so much and now its ok take my 2 day old baby to your house oh and mom u gotta pump.too even tho its your right to choose. I realize that i might be being petty but this is my child and i should be able to choose how i wanna feed him. That's taking away from my bonding with him. I have heard from alot of people that pumping and bottle feeding shoildnt b done for at least the first month. So its like the court wants to take away my part to.bond with the baby to give his father that. Plus it depends on the babys schedule too. Hia fathee works 50 to 60 hours a week. But yet im supposed to pump enough for a night because his father can petition for overnights right away too. Im just so tired of all this. Every time i turn around its another sacrifice i make and more time i have to give worrying and more time.with my son.he takes away from me. I dont wanna.go to court but i just dont see us coming to an agreement. Plus i dont want my baby around his new gf. I dont know her from a bum on the street and i wanna know whos going to be around my baby regularly.

[babymama1985]

I feel like for the most part i have really tried to keep my son in the forefront of your mind...but you're lucky that you have someone who.is willing to work with you...my BD has taken every chance ro build a friendly cordial.relationship between us and stomped on it with lies and deceit. So in a way i am trying to get past this whole thing. Its getting over lies and deceit and cheating while having to deal.with some hoochie being around my baby at some point and i can say with honesty in my heart that i dont wanna keep.him.from the baby but i dont want my son.arouns that woman...i think what if she rries to take my place...i know i know not gonna happen but its still a thought esp if she's gonna be around him from.the get go. My insecurity. All i can really do is wait til the baby gets here and see what happens. I just never imagined being a single mom....i grew up.in a family with both parents. They didnt get along every second but no one does. But they are still together now 33 years later. I just sorta feel like a failure. I trusted this man.when.hebsaid he wanted a family and wanted it with me and as soon as things got hard he hauled butt. Its a lot to swallow. But i think the situation would be different if we didnt have all the lies and cheating involved here....like iy would ok we didn't work so lets do this parenting together but its ok get over all this and still be considerate of someone who treats me like poo. Its not just civility from.him its us always rehashing stuff so we get into a fight. Im just tired of fighting and i dont wanna.deal with him anymore. Im tired of it. Seriously fed up. So i guess things can be decided once the baby is born because im.not gonna run after him and try to get him to talk to.me. i will let him know when his son is born and then the ball is in his court. I cant try for him. I just dont see him wanting as much time as i believe he is.but i guess i really dont know what he wants because he has never said....just got mad at what i said....which is crazy because just cuz i said thats what i want doesnt mean its set in stone amd doesnt mean.i cant compromise. But me and him just cant get along at this point....hopefully after the bany is born we will be able to forgive each other and get our schedules in order for our son

[MamaBear0612]

I think it's maybe just a different way of thinking about motherhood. If I had the ability to stay home with my child, I would in a second, but it's just not financially possible. I'm the one who has the job where I work 50-60 hours minimum, and there's nothing I can do about it and still feed and clothe my child. So you make the best of what you have, and you be the best kind of mom you can be in whatever circumstances you find yourself. I know from personal experience that guys can be dumb and it's not easy at all sometimes to deal with them. There have been moments when I've said it would be a lot easier to do it alone, if he were just gone. I've never in my life had to consider another human being in any decision I ever made, and yeah on some level I feel like I should be able to do what I want because she's my child and if I were married I wouldn't have to make the same decisions I do now. But we didn't work out, so we didn't get married, and she is my child but she's his too. It's easier for both of us to get along, and more than anything, it's better for our little girl. I grew up in a family with parents who didn't know how to get along, and that's not what I want for my baby. I know it's hard, just try to keep the baby at the center of every thought and feeling...I think you're right for at least trying to work on a more positive relationship with your ex.

[babymama1985]

Mamabear, ive heard the same thing about breastfeeding exclusively for the first month because of the latching on thing. But its also good for the baby on an emotional level too. I dont wanna pump.at all but i esp dont wanna.do it at the beginning. Plus i dont have money to buy a pump. And i wont havw insurance after the baby is born to rent one. I guess he can buy it if it really means that much to him. I will get a professional opinion from a lactation specialist. Plus like u said its going to take a little bit to get it all straightened out. I guess i can try to nurture a relationship with his father in the meantime....because now thats also another responsibility of the majority responsibility parent. Like its one more thing i have to do. Its such bull crap.

[babymama1985]

Im going to b looking for another lawyer. I feel this woman was not on my side of the fence. The best thing for the baby is to hava bond with his mother thru feeding and daily activities. Nut the father can find his own way to bond eith the baby. Florida seems tobbe against mothers at this point in time. It seems that if it gives fathers their chance to bond it doesnt matter if it takes from the mothers right to bond witg her child. I have just as much of a right to bond with him as his father does. I have tried to talk to.BD and no can do. He thinks that i am.trying to take "control" even tho i have told him many times u can see him anytime u want. And ive asked him many times what he wants after the baby is born...its idk. I think he is waiting til after he sees the baby. Maybe making sure he is his. Im so outraged. Is it just me or does it seem like the mothers have no rights these days?

[MamaBear0612]

They recommend the baby breastfeed exclusively for the first 3-4 weeks, after that you can introduce the bottle. I would guess if you're going to court, it would take at least that long to get everything ironed out, but if not, request no long visits at least for six weeks or so, until the child gets used to the bottle. A lot of women (including myself) go back to work around that time, so though I'll be breastfeeding I'll have to pump and she'll have to learn to take a bottle too by 5-6 weeks. I'm also sharing my child with her dad, so I'll breastfeed as much as I can and bottle-feed as necessary. Everybody has told me she should be able to do both, it's the first month or so that are really important for teaching her to latch correctly. I would guess you could get medical documentation that that first month is critically important for breastfeeding correctly; I doubt a judge would enforce an overnight visit until that problem is solved.

[Trainermom]

I would look into a different lawyer maybe they have different options...

[KTowne]

You aren't being petty, it's your newborn baby that needs stability, especially the first year. And it's really not good for the baby to get used to a bottle, because he will know it's easier than trying to latch on and not want to even try latching. Have you tried to have a heart to heart with BD? If he's really looking out for the best interest of his child, if you explain your case calmly, and let him know you're not trying to cut him out AT ALL, maybe he will work with you, without getting the courts involved? If not, wait and see if he contacts you after delivery. Let him know you had the baby, and if he doesn't stop to see the baby, or try to contact you about seeing the baby within the first few weeks, then I'd see your lawyer again and tell him/her it's not your job to track down BD to make him see his child, you gave him the option, you told him the baby was here, he's done nothing on his end. Good luck hun, I hope things work out for you!!