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Avatar universal

Second baby??

Just getting everyones opinions..... We have a healthy easy 16 month old daughter. My husband and I originally wanted our kids to be close together (about two years). However obviously that time has already passed since I am not pregnant. :) It just came up soooo much quicker than we thought. We both want more kids. We are struggling a little financially but who isnt? So we are hitting a cross roads. Should we get pregnant so the age gap isnt too great or wait more. Honestly, one of my main reasons for not wanting to get pregnant yet is because my daughter is sooo much fun. She's at a fun, easy age where she is like my buddy not a baby. I LOVED having an infant but I also love this so much.I just take her wherever and its so much fun. I have a hard time knowing that I will start all over again mainly because it means taking all the attention and fun away from my daughter. Isnt that silly? I just feel like, how can I love anyone as much as I love her and is it mean to throw another one in the mix. I wonder how she will react. Shes a super sweet loving little one so thats good. Anyways, just looking at others stories about their age gaps. Thanks!!
5 Responses
Avatar universal
I think if you feel that way,  maybe you should wait a little longer. There was 7 of us, & we're all 5 years apart, well except for the younger 3, they're 4 years apart! & We all get along just fine. Your daughter is completely opposite of my son, he's not occupied unless someone his age is playing with him! So we've decided to add to our little family! I feel only you can determine when is the right time for you & your other half to add to your family, but I think you would love to focus on your daughter a little longer than what ya'll had planned! Which is not a bad thing at all :) so if I was you, I would probably wait a little longer. Maybe ya'll could do 3 years apart.
1311519 tn?1333982067
Only you know if you are ready for another child, if you feel that way maybe you should wait a little longer, having kids close together are great and the normal is 2-3 years. SO you still have time if you decide you want another.
1181036 tn?1367368640
I have 2 brothers I'm 3 years older than 1 and 10 years older than the second. We get along just fine. When my middle brother and I were younger we were still playmates (house, cars, hide and seek, etc.). Now that I'm in college and he's in high school we are more like peers and he comes to me for advice...and my youngest brother who's 10 has a great relationship with me...he's so much like me actually that it freaks my mom out. I have a different type of bond with both of my brothers but they're both great.

For example: since my brother Allan (age 17) and I were closer in age we were playmates but we also fought a LOT more. Whereas when Nicholas (age 10) was born I was so excited to help with diapers, bathing, and holding, etc. and I don't think we've ever gotten into a single fight and he really looks up to me as a role model.

So in your case since you are really enjoying the time with your daughter maybe just wait until she is 2 years old before trying to have another kid :)
Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments. Its such a hard decision. Worse than deciding to have the first one :) Yeah, my daughter LOVES other kids. I was a nanny so that I could work and still be with my daughter and she loved everytime I had the other girl. So I think she would like a playmate but its probably just more me. I just love doing things with her so much. So I guess its a lot to think about. :) thanks everyone.
1035252 tn?1427227833
You got some really good advice here :-). I have a little girl too and it was a very tough decision to add....we got pregnant when she was 13 months (didn't expect it to happen that early) and I spent the entire pregnancy fearing what it would be like for her to share attention and love, and worrying that it would take something precious away from her...

well she LOVES her brother. She can't get enough of him. they are best buds (always laughing together and wanting to be around each other..he's 5 mo's now and she's 26 mo's). I'm so happy we have the gap that we did, because she wasn't old enough to realize that she was *the only one* so sharing attention wasn't hard for her to get used to....and I know they're going to be best buds. But I do admit that I was afraid the entire pregnancy and even resentful once in awhile that my son was going to take attention away from my daughter..then of course he was born and I loved him just as much and all the worry went away.You can still have fun with your little girl....you just add a new dynamic. but you should wait until you';re comfortable with it. if that's now, great! if not...no harm in waiting. I wanted my kids close and I don't regret the decision, but it's not for everyone :-). good luck with your decision

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