Single Mom?

[punkainwain]

I am 25 wks now & already the mother of a 3 yr old son. The same guy is the father to both of my children. We have been together for 8 years. Its been a tough battle and is only getting worse. I dont see myself with him too much longer if he doesnt change but How do I tell him that & keep things okay between us for the kids??? Well since we separated 2 mths ago, we dont speak much & he shows little interest in our son & none in our soon to arrive daughter. What do I do when my mind is saying leave but my heart says stay????

[punkainwain]

I've been there for my son but he is taking this change very hard. His father has other girls from a previous relationship & my son is his only son. He spent almost everyday with his dad and cant get used to not seeing or hearing from him. Im doing the best I can but I have to agree with you it makes me so sad when my son asks me where is daddy and I have no answer.

Dealing with us breaking up is not the hard part. Seeing my kids suffer is far much worst. Many nights I cry because my son cries from missing his dad. I've tried to explain this to him & I ask him can we be parents instead of enemies. How long do I wait for him to parent his children before I give up. I dont want him to come in and out of my children's life because they deserve better and I didnt make them on my own.

[Kayannaboo]

Sometimes we can't let our hearts control our heads, sad but true. People always say follow your heart, the heart wants what the heart wants but sometimes what out hearts desire is not what is best for us. I am sorry that he is taking out his frustrations towards you and your relationship on his kids. I understand that that is extremely hard for you to see as a mother. I have a similar situation. Its been awhile since the father of my daughter has come around to see her and as a mom it pains my heart because my baby deserves the best. She does not deserve to be treated as common. But guess what? she and I? we do fine. She is happy and healthy and she is not short of love, I love her enough for both me and him.

However, he has a responsibility and a duty. Let him know that you are both adults and the kids cannot take care of themselves. Insist that he pick up the slack and help out. If you do not speak up, he will feel like all is well. Take charge and defend your children, use them as your strength. If you are busy and you need him to watch the kids, tell him he WILL watch them because they are his too. Same when it comes to financial support, if you are having a hard time, let him know and let him know if he doesn't help, you are going to take action.

You may not want to be harsh with him because you love him and all a that. I had the same trouble BUT when my child was in need of something and I couldn't afford it, I found the will to be assertive! I am her mother and she needs me to be her voice right now and was sure gonna give her a strong one. Simple. Sweetie, when its over, its over and it hurts and no one stops the pain but a part of the beauty of being a mother is, your child provides a strength we did not know was there, all we need to do is use it to protect them until they can hold their own.

Take good care.


Anna