Stress

[thompsona0815]

Oh my gosh. I need someone to five me ideas, any ideas on how to relax. My anxiety is through the roof with my dad's side of the family. My father's new girlfriend wants to take my husband and I to court, my father doesn't care about the baby and now my father's sister is on me because of my loan not being paid for two months because my husband lost his damn job at the end of october. I'm losing my mind, crying and can't stop shaking inside.. I can't take my Xanax obviously so I'm at a loss for what to do to try to calm myself down. I know our baby Lillian hates this because she stops moving whenever I get worked up.. I'm trying to focus on her but it's a lot when your dad is hypnotized by some evil witch and then more people are jumping down my throat and the reason for the loan is because my grandmother cosigned on it, and since my grandpa passed away, my dad's sister actually likes her mom for once in her entire existence. Sorry for the long post, but please help!

[thompsona0815]

See, that's exactly what I thought. I guess his girlfriend used to be an attorney, so she has part of an advantage, but husband's brother is an attorney and could possibly help us out if they do take us. My dad doesn't have a lot of money unless he's paid my medical bills from the insurance company from my surgery and way back in the day, that he still hadn't when I got married.. We've tried to tell other people that this matter is only between grandma, dad and I but they insist it's their business because grandma is their mom. Just stupid. This family is literally the worst. They only take one side of a the story and they turn their back on their family at any time. Except my aunt and uncle and cousins from them.

[jburgess110]

Well in most cases you would have to be taken to small claims court, they would have to win a case against you.  The judgement would say that you have to pay them _______ amount of money.  If you either failed to show to court, or you failed to pay the money, they could then and only then come after you in the form of a lien.  In most cases, it is up to them to prove that you owe them the money, and in this case, unless your grandma was on the lawsuit, or if your dad had power of attorney, there would be nothing they could do about it.  again, I dont knowt he laws for your state but it should be something that you guys look into.  if they call you and start talking about this issue, I would just say that you will discuss it in court with them.  I think they are trying to bully you into giving them money.  If more than one person calls you about the loan with your grandma, I would say that you are only discussing this with you father and that you have nothing else to say about it.  give you and your husband some control back.  also, i doubt they will take you to court because it is costly, and they probably dont have the money to do so.  

[thompsona0815]

We have everyone blocked on facebook. We're in Ohio, I really don't know how they are getting lien on us, with out my grandma's permission but they apprentice are. We alreasy told them they can take us to court. We were told by his girlfriend that we are little childrwn who know nothing about the real world and that they were already going to set a court date, that we dont ask for thet couirt date, etc. The via text and phone is a good idea, I Never thought of that ! I did change my phone number over the matter of them and even more people freaking out about none of their business, but my husband still has his same number, so we will get on the restrictions because I'm not letting my father, especially his girlfriend anywhere near our child, because of other reasons, as to wanting my child to be loved and actually cared for. Thanks for the advice. It's nice to have someone's opinion that isn't in my family.

[jburgess110]

I am not sure what state you are in but as far as taking someone to court and getting a judgement to get liens on houses/cars, it is a huge thing.  It is not something that they can just do, especially if they were not the ones that loaned the money.  I am unsure if your grandma took out the loan or was a cosigner on a loan you defaulted on, or if it was a private arrangement between you and her.  But you could let your Dad know that you were looking into getting a loan to pay back the debt that you owe your Grandma.  If your Grandma is no longer here, which is why you are dealing with your dad, than I would tell them that they can take you to court and you can settle the arrangement for payment at that time.   I would also make it so that your father, his girl friend and you and your husband are unable to communicate via text and to let them know that if they want to pursue legal matters, you have nothing left to discuss outside the court system. This will give you and your husband some of the control back.  Also if you and they are on Facebook, start restricting what they can and cannot access.  

[thompsona0815]

Thanks for the ideas. My dad is taking us to court for the college loan for my grandma. They want to put a lean on everything we have, but everything has loans and our house is rented so not much they can do except take our furniture. He doesn't even care about the baby or me. It's weird because my dad had full custody of me after the divorce and we were everything to each other. Then this woman came along, she was set at first then she turned over a damn text and then she called me a filthy predator, and called me stuff on on and on... she called my husband a childish teenage girl because he hung up on my dad last night because my dad started screaming at him and being very disrespectful so my husband told him he didn't deserve to be disrespected and him and his girlfriend told off my husband about how he doesn't deserve any respect. I swear this woman is the freaking devil. She's taking everything my dad has and trying to take everything we have.. she's a freaking gold digger but everyone on the family hates us a and thinks we're awful even though we've done everything for everyone. We paid other people's bills because they couldn't have their kids over if not, just different things like that. I'm just so fed up with the entire situation. We've tried being respectful by doing the said above for the aunt but then she tells me I should be ashamed of myself for going to school and wasting all this money. I'm just so fed up. I've done everything the way my dad wanted to but I didn't finish college because I wanted to marry my husband and get pregnant. And I even did it in that order, the order I was told I had to or was a waste my whole life from him. My sister got pregnant at 16, brother did bad stuff too and baby out of wedlock. My dad had my sister out of wedlock when he was 18! And yet, I'm still the damn black sheep.

[jburgess110]

Tell your aunt that you would love to make the debt right and ask her if you can make payment arrangements that will start in the New Year.  It will show that you are being responsible and are not leaving her out to dry.  You can also suggest adding a dollar amount to the monthly arrangement until the back balance is paid off.  If you cannot pay her, find out if there is something that you or your husband can do to pay back the balance, odd jobs around the house, or free babysitting.  
I am not sure what you would be taken to court for, since you didn't get into specifics.  
As far as your father goes, maybe send a card or make a craft to give him from your unborn about how excited they are too meet them and do an activity that your dad enjoys.  Right now everyone is under stress from the holidays so keep that in mind and don't get too stressed out :)