WARNING: This is very mature question!

[smiley_one]

This is very personal and please do not read it if you are going say "Don't post that here" or any negativity. I am in my third trimester of my first pregnancy. I know my sex drive has decreases A LOT during this pregnancy. On occasion (very rarely) I get the urge to want to make love, but then my partner doesn't or if he is in the mood, I feel like putting up a brick wall
:( Lately I have noticed that I am getting the urge a couple times a week (before it was like once or twice a month, if that). I am unsure of what to do to make it special, what's safe and what's not safe to do during pregnancy. I know this question is a very touchy topic, but I feel bad because it has put an awkwardness between me and my fiance. We have only made love 3 times this entire pregnancy. Any advice or anything would help. Thanks!!

[smiley_one]

That's what I was thinking about doing. Once the baby comes it will probably be hard to get to have those romantic date nights without thinking that we have to be back a certain time or worry about the baby and wondering how she is doing with the babysitter.

[mrssnazzybell]

Girl my husband is expecting not to get any lol and this is baby #3 sex was painful with my other 2 it is perfectly normal our hormones are all over the place so don't feel bad, when you get closer to your due date try to do a babymoon its like a honeymoon a little fun before the baby gets here, dinner and set your bedroom up real sexy and wear something nice and get it on lol even after the baby it might take a little while before you two get back into the swing of things because your daily lives are now obviously different but you two will be fine.

[smiley_one]

I was advised not to lay flat on my tummy or on my back for too long. I googled "best positions for pregnant women" and it gave me a list of about 3 or 4, so I just started to look up positions that didn't have me on my tummy or back, and they look like they would be safe and not harm the baby.

[Miss_meme07]

I was wondering da same thing lol what im allowed to do n not to do while pregnant. Most of the time im on top fearing that ill mush or hurt my lil one if im not. My hubby seem to be pleased bcuz i guess in a way im takin charge*shrugs*

[breanna_d]

I m so glad that worked for u & hopefully hubby enjoyed it too :-)

[smiley_one]

This may be TMI, but I tried the Taking control thing and I do have to say that is the most aroused I have felt this entire pregnancy. I will look into the website that FirstUterally mentioned above. Thank you everyone who responded and helped :) I feel more comfortable talking about this now and I am not embarrassed anymore.

[FirstUterally]

After we cleared the air about why I haven't been in the mood alot, I felt much closer to my hubby. Even close enough not to care about how unflattering I looked. Surprisingly, our sex has been faaaaaabulous :)

[FirstUterally]

I wasn't really in the mood alot (im now 23wks) because of self esteem issues when I started getting bigger and couldn't fit into my ''normal'' lingerie. Ooh, go to Mommylicious . com for some cute lingerie that flatters a belly and the ever growing behind. Even that didnt work for my self esteem tho and eventually just talked with hubby about not feeling sexy enough to make love like we did before. He understood and makes sure that I feel beautiful.

[kai0912]

Hunny if some one had a problem with a sex wuestion they would be out of their minds.....we are all here in this forum because of what.....SEX cant make the babies with out a little action! Lol but i say what everyone else say if it makes u uncomfortable.dont do it everything else is fair game... I had very low sex drive for 2trimesters but this last one seems like i cant get enough ;-)

[breanna_d]

Every guy & every girl are totally different in what they like, want, r comfortable with. I personally have no problem discussing sex, I am thinking of going into the area of sex & couples therapy when I earn my degree in psyc :-) so if u ever feel shy dont hesitate to ask me!

As far as lingerie, sometimes the material and colour can be as suggestive as the way it's cut. Even a simple spaghetti strap nighty in a satin or silk, maybe red/black/white it colour. Possibly with lace trim. Maternity stores do carry nightys but more often in summer than winter months. Best of luck :-)

[smiley_one]

When I read that, I read it as if we was at a pep rally. Hopefully taking charge will work :)

[Babyiish]

Oh yeah!
Definitely take charge pregnant or not pregnant....
And just tell hubby I'm in the mood tonight
Or just Waite till he fall a sleep....
Make it fun :)

[smiley_one]

I completely agree because I'm sure there are more women out there who wonder these same things, but are probably too scared to ask because of negativity. I was scared to death to ask on here, that's why I did "warning" and gave everyone a heads up lol.

[Babyiish]

Hey smiley_one
We should create a new forum
Pregnancy: sex drive/what to do and not to do while pregnant
But still keep it rated R

Sex is normal No body should have a negative opinion about this.....

That's how we got pregnant in the first place 
:)

[smiley_one]

I will try the taking charge and see how that works. I heard that some guys like it when the woman takes control, but I've never tried that before. I also thought of notes and stuff to lead him to get that I'm in the mood, or maybe even some sexy games. I have tried looking for lingerie, but I can never find anything that I think might make me feel comfortable because of the baby belly, but I doubt he will be looking at that lol. But if those fail, I'll message you  for some more suggestions, I'm never good at being creative lol.


Thank you all who have replied!!

[breanna_d]

If your willing to try taking charge, my suggestion would be to dress in lingerie (doesn't have to be too racey). It's a non-verbal, visual way to get your point across quickly. Also u can "push" him on the bed or sit him down, which ever your ok with. Then lotsa kissing ect, and if your on top u can control the depth he goes in and pace, ect. It may make u feel more comfortable and is perfectly safe during pregnancy. A study on men's fantasies found that over 50% of men want their women to take charge in the bedroom, so your guy will likely enjoy the treatment ;-) if u want more suggestions send me a msg.

[smashNsawyer]

Oh man I was the same way! I hated it some days and other days it was all I thought about, I believe you shouldn't have "rough" sex but as long as it doesn't hurt you or make you uncomfortable you should be ok. Your body is the best gauge of what you should and shouldn't do so as long as you feel ok you're most likely not causing any harm:)

[smiley_one]

My friend told me about the vibrator thing, but I'm old school and do not use stuff like that. I've been doing some research on google, but nothing is really helpful.

[parkersmommy]

Honey anything that makes you comfortable is fine. I guess they say nipple stimulation close to your due date may start labor lol. Um and I'm pretty sure you can't use a vibrator but other than that I think you're good