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358971 tn?1330892575

What wd you say the Pros and Cons are for having a baby now instead of waiting

this is mostly for a discussion I plan to have with DH. I printed out my own list of Pros and Cons with a twinge of humor added so he didn't get freaked out. I typed the list and plan on having a discussion with him tomorrow, (he's hunting this evening). The reason I'm doing this is because originally, DH wanted to wait a loooonnng time before ttc. Then in Dec 2008 he agreed we'd start trying in June of this year. Then....we went to Florida for a friend's wedding and b/c we loved it so much there (compared to where we're living) he changed his mind and said he's not ready. I gave him a week to get over the psuedo-depression from leaving Florida, and asked him in all seriousness...."will you be ready in June?" he said no. My heart sank, of course. I keep trying to convince myself that i'm totally fine with waiting. But then I get to thinking about it and think, "OMG! I"m going to be 28 in 7 months! If we wait another year, I'll be 29 before having our first. No big deal, but I still want to get my PhD and am almost finished with my master's (in Sept) so I'd like to have children now, and then when they're about 2, put them in preschool, and go back to school.

Sorry this is long...i'm babbling. (what's new?). I just wanted you're feedback so I can add it to my list of pros and cons. So again....

Please name some pros and some cons to having children now versus waiting  (men can answer too please!)

16 Responses
470885 tn?1326332637
Just off the top of my head....

You'll have more energy, the younger you are (I'm 31 and DH is nearly 41, and I see a difference in our energy levels).

Another thing to consider is that there never will be a "perfect" time.  There's always something to wait for, a reason to hold off.

Good luck with your talk tomorrow, I hope it goes well.  Keeping the lines of communication open is key for sure :-)
435139 tn?1255463991
NOW PROS: your eggs deteriorate in quality every year you are past 25 and the risk factors for downs etc. increase

Also, you could face fertility issues in the coming years and have a harder time ttc
358971 tn?1330892575
Thanks. You're right and the energy level is definitely one i  put on my list! It's just that i know DH will say that he's not talking about waiting 4 years (when he'll be 30, I'll be 30 in 2 1/2). So, I'm trying to come up with things that will help him see now is the time. He says he's not ready but I think he's just (like me) afraid of giving up all he knows. Sleep, freedom to do anything. But I keep trying to tell him, we're responsible for our dog. He doesn't stop us from doing everything, just puts a little cinch in things but he's totally worth it. Babies are even better!!!
358971 tn?1330892575
really? I had no idea the statistics for eggs quality said after 25 y/o!!! Crikey!! Thanks for adding THAT! i'LL BE sure to mention that one!! The fertility thing is a good one too. I mention that but it seems to slide right by him...like he doesn't FULLY understand the weight of such a serious issue.
363110 tn?1340924019
Bioclock~ TECHNICALLY it's after 30... but women under 30 definitely have a lower risk of D/s and T18 (deadly genetic problem)

But.... You don't have to go into specifics with him! :)  Ask him if he's sure he'll have the energy to have kids in a couple years? AND probably more than one!  (if this is your first... you'll probably want more and soon, esp. if your 28 now. The DS risk is a big deal.)
Avatar universal
I agree- there'll never be the "perfect" time. I know so many women who waited and ended up finding that they couldn't conceive or had a very difficult time doing so.

Also, you're at higher risks for genetic problems and are required to get amnios, etc. because your eggs will start to "deteriorate" the older you become, as others have stated. Which is probably why older moms may have a harder time conceiving.

This is just one of those things that you have to try! Once you are pregnant and your husband sees his baby on ultrasound and holds them for the first time... that is HIS baby! He will be very protective and love them with his whole heart.

Good luck!
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