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abortion (going through depression)

I have a question about depression after abortion. I'm 16 years old and I had a non-surgical abortion about 2 months ago. I was 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant.  And now its been killing me :( I didn't know the causes of emotional pain people have before I had it. The dad is my boyfriend that I've been with for almost 3 years. He's 19 years old.He was such a sweetheart, but after I messed our relationship up, everything went bad. I remember when we use to talk about wanting a kid , but we didn't know the reality of being teen parents. This pregnancy happened unexpectacly. (Sorry if I mispelled) but yes it happened that way. I have a thyroid problem since I was born. Which means I have to take pills my entire life for my hormones. And doctors have said it was not a chance for me to get pregnant. I thought so to because I've always had unprotected sex & nothing never happened . so this time I never expected it. I was having so many symptoms. But I didn't notice till I was like 5 weeks. I didn't feel normal at all. I felt weak and I thought I was gonna die. So I was scared. Later I found out I was pregnant. Me and my boyfriend were in shock and scared. We both didn't know what to do. He immediately said abortion, which I was kind of against of. And I didn't know the causes. I immediately went for it. I did it and one week after, I felt sad and felt so much guilt. My boyfriend supported me for at least a week, but with all the problems, we went back to fighting. That's when I thought about my child the most. I never told anyone about it. The only people that knew were his family. None of mines knew. I'm not really close to them. So now that its been 2 months, I feel more and more sad about it. I feel like going to therapy, but I feel like whatever anybody says, it's not gonna help. I always feel like I want my baby back. I even sometimes want to get purposely pregnant just so I can have a baby and be happy again. I try talking to my boyfriend, but he says he's sad too and doesn't want to talk about it. So I have no one :( I'm really sorry if this is too long. I just need urgent help. I sometimes try killing myself just so I can be with my baby . Anyone has any suggestions? Bwte, thanks for taking time to read this. I appreciate. :)
7 Responses
Avatar universal
I can't even imagine how much you must be hurting. That's a lot for one person to be going through. I think everything you are feeling right now is very natural. The one thing that you've got to realize is that what has been done has been done and you've got to find a way to let go of your guilt and decide where you want your life to go from here. Posting in this forum was already a good start. I think therapy sounds like a great idea. It would probably be good to sit down with someone who can help you sort trough everything you're feeling. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to be a quick process but eventually you will get through this. Maybe one day you'll even be able to help other young women who are in a similar position. Just take it one day at a time and keep reaching out when you need support.
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry u had to go Thu this at such a young age. I cant imagine how u feel. but I would definitely recommend therapy. having someone that won't judge you to talk to about ur sadness and fears should help u cope a little better. its never good to bottle things up.
4097140 tn?1361061634
Hi. Please don't ever think about killing yourself. I don't know much about you but from what I read you're hurting and I wish you had spoken to someone who had an abortion before getting one yourself. Killing yourself will not help you or your baby you lost. Take time for yourself to heal and don't rush into having a baby. You don't wanna be a teen mom or s single parent right now. Chances are that's what may happen if u keep thinking that way. I'm here if you wanna talk.
Avatar universal
This story made me cry. Check with your local social services and see if there are abortion support groups with other girls your ago. There are many groups here like that. You WILL.make it through this, just please don't ever try to kill yourself again because you will have another baby one day, and you are going to be a great mother. Stay strong babygirl!
Avatar universal
Thank you for reading this. :) & yes it's really hard for me. I never know what to do. But i will try to go to therapy. I think that's what i need. But thank you so much for you're support :) it means alot.
3112100 tn?1379618259
I sent yu a personal message :)
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