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7131686 tn?1390054441

arguement.. rant

Me n my sister just had an argument abt my fiance stayn at the hospital with my after I have the baby. I told him I wants him to still go to wrk in the morning he gts off at 3:30pm n come straight back n she says thts stupid u just had a baby a real man will stay regardless n I said it has nthn to do with being a real man or nt bills dnt stop because I had a baby. Somebdy needs to go to wrk I have nurses to help me while I'm there alone. And ill be slp half the time n the baby will too. How do u guys feel abt tht give me ur opinion
19 Responses
1123420 tn?1350561158
I think your right. Bills don't stop. My sons father stayed with me the whole 4 days but at that time we were living rent free. This time I'm the only one who works so I'm nervous lol. You know what's right for you guys so don't listen to anyone else
Avatar universal
With my first baby my hisband stayed while i was at the hospital but it was his days off and this time he is able to take a month off so its really nice but if we were in your situation i would tell her to butt out
Avatar universal
If u want him to work then that's your choice everyone is different I personally want my bf there with me the 2 days in the hospital he has 2 personal paid days n isn't using them until I have her so he wont be missing any money but he still said even if he didn't have those days he was staying with us until we leave but that's just how he is! But I do understand n feel were u coming from!
Avatar universal
My boyfriends still going to his classes while at the hospital. He will only be gone an hour or two soo i figured why make him miss his classes. I completely agree with u when u want him to go to work.
Avatar universal
With my first son, we both got laid off the day I went into labor so he stayed with me most of the time...... and this time around he taking the day I deliver off but after that hes going to be working and coming when he gets off..... bills arent gonna pay them self and I am a scheduled csection and its on a friday so I know my family/parents will be in and out all day.... and if not I have nurses to help =)
6918915 tn?1395932871
I think if you don't mind him going then that's great, he should go to work! If you wanted him to be there those first couple days and he said no then I would be upset. But it's really up to you if it bothers you or not.
7131686 tn?1390054441
Thts wt I thought he just started his new job so he wnt get any paid time off yet n I'm going to be out of wrk somebdy has to wrk the hospital helps and they feed me lol so there's no reason for him to miss wrk he has classes at night bt he will miss those for 2 days. Thts an unnecessary argument n a beautiful day will turn into a bad day. She gets mad at everythng. We argued abt him coming to all my appointments u dnt need him at all I'm nt high risk so Its jst a check up if somethngs wrong he will leave wrk as fast as he can. I only want him there whn we find out the gender. I'm a very easy going person some thngs don't need to be made a big deal
7131686 tn?1390054441
And if I went into labor he's nt going to miss it for wrk bt after I dnt need him as much as I wld at home. We agreed on it bt my sister n mom are making a big deal abt it
7266687 tn?1390893031
Your sister needs to relax and let you handle your business. If he wants to be at every appointment then that's great. If both of you agree that he should be at work instead of sitting at the hospital that's between yall. I wish my boyfriend would be able to be at my appointments.  He works and money needs to be made cause these kids gotta eat. Don't tell your sister what you 2 talk about,  its better for you. Good luck
6628393 tn?1398789276
Last time around my husband was in the military and got 10 days to leave to be with me and could come with me to all the appointments if he wanted to. This time he is out and is in school. He cant miss 3 days in a 3 month period or he gets kicked out  of his class, fails, and has to pay to retake it again (one girl even got kicked out for goin to 2 funerals and had a day off for being sick and thy didnt care and still kicked her out). And his grade drops by the hour that he is not there not by the day. If I go in labor during he middle of the week he will be there for the labor and the next day off to school I will send him and hopefully my mother in law or my parents will be there to watch our 17 month old while I'm in the hospital. I am seriously hoping for a Friday induction if I go past my due date so he can stay there with me if not he will be staying at home.

If it was my sister sayin something I would tell her she can shut her mouth or pay to make the difference of him not being at work, but I am very blunt about things like that.
7131686 tn?1390054441
They just always have somethng to say abt everythng like he's being a bad man for not coming its nt like he dnt want to cuz he does bt wrkn is more important than my appointments unless I'm having complications
7037949 tn?1396913181
My husband is the most caring and supportive husband and father I know and I still didn't want him at the hospital ALL THE TIME.  I sent him home with our first to sleep in his bed and take care of our dog.  It's impossible to get any real rest with nurses coming in all night long.  After our first, he's always gone home to take care of the other kids.  My sister usually watches them for a few hours each day while he's at the hospital.  I actually like the quiet time to bond with the baby at the hospital.  Also, my husband teaches and it can be hard to prep for sub plans all the time.  I'm with you, though, I'd rather him take time off when I first get home and I don't have the help of an entire staff of nurses.  This is our 5th and last time I came home after just 24 hours in the hospital.  This time I told my husband that I'm taking my full 3 day vacation where others will bring me food and take care of me :)  Don't let anyone else tell you how to take care of your relationship.  If they start now, it will only get worse when you get married :)
5781072 tn?1399601256
With both my children my husband was there the day they were born but the next day he went back to work and came back when he got off and it didn't make him any less of a real man that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard lol no offense
7131686 tn?1390054441
Very stupid lol I told her she sound stupid she got mad at me bt idc they have to much say so abt my relationship whn I'm the only one with a man tht I've been with for 3 years
6628393 tn?1398789276
Is she young? It makes her sound it.
13167 tn?1327194124
You both sound very mature,  shaquanda.  You for encouraging him to work if taking off will be a financial hardship,  and him for working and going to school.

Do what you think is best.
Avatar universal
I agree with u. Bills have to be paid. The nurses will have you covered. An he is coming back. Plus he will be there for the delivery.
7131686 tn?1390054441
She's not young she's my twin sister we're identical bt so different I have a more mature mindset thn her. She's very blunt n outgoing I'm easy going n quiet I hate drama bt she loves excitement like tht. We always argue because she does n says stupid thngs n thnks she's right all the time. And thank you @Rockrose I try to thnk abt the future n in this economy its nt an option
6838479 tn?1390502941
My husband stayed with me but he left to work from the hospital and then after work came back and stayed the whole night
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13167 tn?1327194124
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