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Avatar universal

baby #2

Hi there ladies, this is my second baby, and this pregnancy is totally different from my first one. My first baby I was totally normal I did not feel one ounce of pregnancy, but this one makes me depressed and very clingy to my hubby. The thing is that I know I'm depressed and emotional due to the baby, but my hubby gives me no support for my emotions or feelings. I've stopped telling him how i feel because it's redundant to the point of i will fake it till I make it to stay with him for the babies and in hopes that after my pregnancy hormones things will get better. Should I leave because I'm getting nothing from this relationship emotionally or stay for the kids?
9 Responses
Avatar universal
I would wait until after the pregnancy... I'm struggling with pretty much the exact same situation and also my second pregnancy but I have personally decided since I know my hormones are everywhere, it's worth figuring out and fighting for... Especially if you really love the person amongst the recent issues.
Avatar universal
Talk to your doctor about depression.
Avatar universal
Definitely stay and give it more time. Talk to your doctor about your feelings.
Avatar universal
I'm going through this too on & off! Its pregnancy #2! My first born is 1 yr old!
After my delivery it was the best thing that ever happened in my life! But there was an underlying problem... I didn't realize how psycho I would be about my kid. I won't send her to daycare bc of the horrible things that happen there on  reg. basis now & no family support almost at all. So I'm at home taking care of my baby every single day & all day long! I never have a break! I have been having a longing to go to work, make a paycheck with my name on it again, & just have something going on to make me feel like I'm moving forward in my career but its definitely not happening for a while now bc I'm prego again. I have been having mixed emotions constantly. I am thrilled now about the new baby but very very depressed bc I know I'm going to be home a lot longer now. My depression gets awful. Sometimes I lay down all day thinking & by the end of the day I'm miserable. Sex drive went to crap lately & I feel like just waking up & doing day to days is too hard for me emotionally. My fiance us great but he's very withdrawn & quiet! Its like u have to pryyy thongs out of him. He's not always nice either. He works a lot opening a new portion of the business & dealing with many a**holes so sometimes he takes it out on me! I'm not thinking about leaving my fiance bc I feel like if we make some changes that we can make it. I've invested quite some time into him so I'm trying to fight for everything to fall into place. But tbh he's not really the problem with me. He's not the best listener but I think my problem is that I need something going on in my life that makes me feel important! Being a mom is one but I mean something that's pushing me forward so I make good $ & my kids r set with age. I applied to college so I hope I can do this! Our situations may be different but I guess I'm just saying you are not alone! I'd say fight for what you've invested in! (Unless of course there's physical abuse, mental abuse, or things that are really serious that u may not want to share)! Fight for your family & if you know you've done your best & given it your all & there's still nothing there then u may want to start exploring your options. He should also be just as involved in fighting for it as you are. He should be meeting u half way
You have a baby to think about & another child so when it all comes down to it I'd day do whatever is best for you & your children! Talk to your Dr about depression & try to go outside at least 30 minutes a day if you can. Its proven that the outdoors help amazingly with depression. Support systems are nice as well. If you know you've given your all & your still left with nothing & feeling empty then maybe you can start exploring other options! Take your time honey! I will pray for you!
Avatar universal
It really depends! Are you a stay @ home mom & is he the one working? The reason why I ask is bc some guys don't understand our "womanly" emotions & hormonal changes! They think we are overreacting, being dramatic, or brats!lol I know I went there with mine before! He just does not understand no matter how hard I explain how depressing it can be staying @ home all the time! My moods swing like crazy while pregnant! I have a great fiance but sometimes he doesn't understand me or he throws my feelings under the rug if he thinks I'm just being crazy! Now that we've been trying to communicate more he understands me more bc I did threaten to leave @ one point bc of my depression. Really wasn't even his fault. I just got flustered but we make sure we communicate better, listen better, help each other, etc. Talk to your Dr about your depression. Mines from staying home all the time. Not getting to work, have a paycheck, & a social life gets me down. Especially when I see the whole world doing it without me. But my kids are taken great care of by me daily so that's a blessing. Try to find out EXACTLY what's causing your depression & do things to change your mood. An Example: angry ppl are told to exercise & do physical things bc it helps release that tension & clear your head! You can turn your negatives into positives if u find something u love or your passionate about! Go outside for at very least 10 minutes to 30 a day. The outdoors is proven to help insanely with depression. Eat good & plenty of water! Get u a support system! So if u have any breakdown moments u have someone to talk n vent to! I'm always available as well as many women on here (: I'd say if its worth it fight for your relationship but he needs to meet u halfway! Once you feel like you've done your best & given it your all then u may want to look at other options for u & your little ones but sometimes these issues can definitely be resolved if both sides are willing & determined! Don't worry girl! No matter what you will be ok. He us being insensitive to your needs but hopefully that will change! I would def. be forward & tell him exactly how feel tho so its out there for him to work on! I will pray for y'all! God bless
Avatar universal
It really depends! Are you a stay @ home mom & is he the one working? The reason why I ask is bc some guys don't understand our "womanly" emotions & hormonal changes! They think we are overreacting, being dramatic, or brats!lol I know I went there with mine before! He just does not understand no matter how hard I explain how depressing it can be staying @ home all the time! My moods swing like crazy while pregnant! I have a great fiance but sometimes he doesn't understand me or he throws my feelings under the rug if he thinks I'm just being crazy! Now that we've been trying to communicate more he understands me more bc I did threaten to leave @ one point bc of my depression. Really wasn't even his fault. I just got flustered but we make sure we communicate better, listen better, help each other, etc. Talk to your Dr about your depression. Mines from staying home all the time. Not getting to work, have a paycheck, & a social life gets me down. Especially when I see the whole world doing it without me. But my kids are taken great care of by me daily so that's a blessing. Try to find out EXACTLY what's causing your depression & do things to change your mood. An Example: angry ppl are told to exercise & do physical things bc it helps release that tension & clear your head! You can turn your negatives into positives if u find something u love or your passionate about! Go outside for at very least 10 minutes to 30 a day. The outdoors is proven to help insanely with depression. Eat good & plenty of water! Get u a support system! So if u have any breakdown moments u have someone to talk n vent to! I'm always available as well as many women on here (: I'd say if its worth it fight for your relationship but he needs to meet u halfway! Once you feel like you've done your best & given it your all then u may want to look at other options for u & your little ones but sometimes these issues can definitely be resolved if both sides are willing & determined! Don't worry girl! No matter what you will be ok. He us being insensitive to your needs but hopefully that will change! I would def. be forward & tell him exactly how feel tho so its out there for him to work on! I will pray for y'all! God bless
Avatar universal
I work full time and so does he. So making time for us is hard by itself. when we have time together I already feel sad and unloved. He always says that when we sees that I look upset because I just came from work or sad cause i have been at home all day it gets him angry and he doesn't even try to make me feel better. I've told him that if I can't get love from him I will go to my girl friends for it because right now that is the only place I feel love. I've never thought about getting it from another guy even though we haven't been in sexual contact for weeks at a time because he simply doesn't want it. We've been together for almost 5 years and only now that my emotions are heightened I'm feeling the hurt and the upsetting feelings and need more. I've always known that he's not all that romantic and all that but ive never been this clingy to the point that I constantly need to feel the love even if we are simply just texting and at every moment that we are with eachother. I've told him many times this is what I need and he tells me simply that he doesn't know how to baby me or give me romance and loving like i need and that this is how he is and he's not going to change.
Avatar universal
Your right a lot of men don't understand hormones and womanly changes wait until after baby born before making permanent decisions about your future. . The hardest for me is  this is my first pregnancy without my mother. She died over 1yr ago. When I would get depressed or have a meltdown she would be there to listen or talk and always was able to get me to see the bright side. I love my husband but he just doesn't get it and that gets me frustrated although he is trying cause he knows I miss my mam desperately at this time.
Avatar universal
Your right a lot of men don't understand hormones and womanly changes wait until after baby born before making permanent decisions about your future. . The hardest for me is  this is my first pregnancy without my mother. She died over 1yr ago. When I would get depressed or have a meltdown she would be there to listen or talk and always was able to get me to see the bright side. I love my husband but he just doesn't get it and that gets me frustrated although he is trying cause he knows I miss my mam desperately at this time.
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