Really worried about after birth recovery

[Tanya0516]

I haven't had sex since 6-6 1/2 months pregnant.   With my second baby I was told to refrain from having intercourse because of a low lying placenta.   Anyway, my recovery was long, hard and horrible.   My ob told me it was because I didn't have regular sex.  With my other 2 pregnancies I had sex almost every day and I had wonderful recoveries.  The pain was bearable and I was on my feet as soon as my IV was taken out.

I have 4 children to deal with after my c-section.   I don't want a repeat painful recovery as my second.

What can I do?   I can't masterbate because I am too big and awkward and baby daddy doesn't want me to have sex toys.  He also won't have sex with me.

My current OB said the same thing as my old OB.  what can I do ?

I'm the one that will be having this child, I'm the one that will be in pain and I will be the one with my other 4 children as well as a newborn.

Baby daddy has two other children but acts like this is his first.

Please help with suggestions.

[mummainoz]

I've never heard of regular sex helping with recovery. We didn't have sex for the last 3mths of my last pregnancy and I was up 24hrs after my csection. It was however the 4th major surgery I'd had in 5yrs so I think knowing the physio exercises, when to cut back on the meds, and how to protect my body when moving around helped. Wishing you lots of luck with this one!

[Tanya0516]

All I can say is he'll find out.   I couldn't move more than 10 feet from my bed when I had my second baby.   He better be able to book time off of work.

[Tanya0516]

I don't have a removable showerhead.  I've tried talking to him he just turns a deaf ear.  I flipped a little while ago at him.  He keeps on thinking I'm in a pissy mood when I'm not.  I'm nervous and depressed.  He hasn't said anything negative or make excuses.  

I'm still nervous of a repeat recovery like with my second child.

[squidbabeh]

Removable shower head? Haha...

[beccymarie]

If he won't do anything for you or to you, then i think you should have a talk with him about using toys until you're recovered. Then it can be back to however he wants it to be. But we have needs too and if he isn't going to satisfy them for you, he shouldn't be able to complain about you doing it yourself..

[Tanya0516]

Lol.  Not a chance.  He won't even hug or kiss me.

[Kolina24]

Umm will he do oral?