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Avatar universal

company after birth

so my fiancees family is moving to Newfoundland next month and want to come back to ontario for the delivery. I told my fiancee that i wanted at least a couple days on our own once we get out of the hospital so they could come after that but his mom want to be here for the delivery!!! I am soo torn. This is our first so i am sure we will be overwhelmed, i just want to be able to relax as much as i can when we get home and not have to worry about cleaning up after the inlaws (they are lazy) it doesn't help that i cannot stand his mom.  I told fiancee that they could come after we are home for a few days or come for delivery but stay in a hotel or something. Am i being unreasonable?
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Avatar universal
Oops hit post to soon...he had to man up and get tough with telling some family to back off and in the end it was so nice just being able to rest with who i wanted around. The less drama after baby the better lol. Its not about what anyone else wants, its about you, your s.o. and baby.
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Avatar universal
Id say do whatever will make you comfortable. This is the best time in your life to put yourself first no matter who you will offend. I feel very strongly about this, it is such an emotional, hormone crazy, exhausted time when baby is born, that the last thing you should worry about is offending grandparents, inlaws, aunts uncles, friends whoever. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself comfortable, get the rest you need, and focus on being a mommy. Everyone, and everything else can wait. And talk frequently with your s.o. so they are well aware beforehand what your going to need and want...my husband did hadto man
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Avatar universal
it is just going to by my fiancee in the delivery room with me. I wouldn't be so hesitant about it if i knew they would help out around the house. They were here for xmas last year and left garbage/dirty dishes everywhere and disappeared when it was time to clean up after dinner and my mil is a know it all and i know will over step her boundaries. I told hubby if they want to be here when i deliver they stay at a hotel or they wait a few days after we get home from the hospital and visit. I am not backing down on my decision
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Avatar universal
Only me hubby and my birth coach and my lil sis is doing my birth photography. No one else for the birth. I'm like that. Lol
Helpful - 0
5371784 tn?1370824532
Nope i think ur reasons r very compilable. My son had to stay in MCG for a week due to him having breathing problems. He ended up dying like 5 times! I told everybody automatically do not come near me or him for at least 2 weeks after he came home. Not only was i simply doing what docs told me to do but after going threw that stress i didnt want to deal with any more crap! My in-laws n i dnt exactly see eye to eye very often!! They **** me off all the time. I have a feeling they gonna b a lil controling over this child when i have her!
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4715985 tn?1371582997
Omg!!! I have a similar problem. We live up in ottawa and ny hubbys fanily is in guelph (five hours away without traffic) and they want to come up the weekend after baby is born. I dont like his parents, theyve been putting my hubby down for so long telling him how much he ***** and calling him names ever since hes young i just cant stand beeing near them. And his sister wants to come with her year old daughter (i love my niece) but listening to her yell at her daughter makes me so damn angry!!!  last weekend they came up for a visit for three days and i felt all my energy drained. I was so mad all the time i could barely keep a smile on but i did it for my hubby. I will not be able to deal with them after ive popped a baby out of my vagina. Ill be bleeding afterwards, ill have a newborn and they r the kind of people i just dont want them to hold my son! I dont want such horrible people holding him! Hell whem my niece was a couple months oldvandbshe was crying out of exhaustion they told her they wish she would just shut the hell up and go to sleep for 20yrs. Like seriously!!!! They r grandparents talking like that to theyre grandchild! I feel bad telling my hubby i dont want them near my son and i know i cant demand that since theyre his parents and all. Urrggg!!!! I hate family! I hate how i cant chose any of them. :( im frustrated lol can you tell ? I hope it goes good for you. I know how hard it is to deal with family
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Avatar universal
no its your choice tell him you feel the same for both sides of the family, that you need bonding time with the baby might help if you get your doctor to tell him about how you and baby and him need bonding time alone too
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Avatar universal
I think thats very fair. If they were the type of people to help clean and cook then that would be very helpful but not everyone is. With my first i wanted just hubby and i with baby for the first few days but was so exhauasted i called my mom and she came over everyday to help cook and clean and it was amazing cuz i spent time with my son. Some ppl can think its helpful to take baby so u can sleep when really u just want to bond. I would put down some serious boundaries if they are goung to stay with you guys and make sure they understand before they come. That will make u stress less about the visit. Good luck and i hope it all works out for you.
Helpful - 0
4591205 tn?1410605174
nope you are going to want to have time to recover. My mom is coming for 5 weeks 2 weeks before his due date to 2 weeks after. She'll be staying with us but i know she will help more than hinder
Helpful - 0
5154295 tn?1372284196
I think that sounds perfectly fine! You're the one giving birth and needs quiet time! My MIL will be out here a week before baby come and my uncle will come when baby gets here! I don't mind because I think I'll need whatever help I can get. It's the first grand baby for both my parents and my husbands mom so I know they'll all be very anxious to meet little one. Just try not to keep baby away to long cause then they'll probably feel left out. And you do not have to clean up after anyone but you and baby! Good luck (:
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No , trust me I just had my baby boy the 3rd I chose to just be me and my hubby in the delivery room of course some people chose different but I chose that because well I wanted to just be me and him and our baby boy at first our little family plus the emotions that go along with labor I didn't want to be seen during that . Afterwards now people come to visit and I honestly would like to hold it off because not only do you have to adjust to a new baby but you will have your own healing to do and its not easy let alone picking up after extra people . Give yourself some time and when your ready people will understand :) goodluck
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