daughter

[gramma32]

my daughter is 8 and a half months pregnant and is going thru a really stressful time right know she is in the process of loosing her first daughter from the state, her daughter is living with a foster parent who is her great grandparents. This is a really bad situation and I am concerned with my daughter because last week she had her rent due and she didnt pay it instead she had paid a friends rent and her dad didnt know till I had mentioned it, he had thought she was going to save up money to pay her car or for the new baby so he had told her to move back home so she can do that, i didnt know he was going to get so upset like he did. they both started texting eachother after he had found out what she had done and told her she was not allowed to move back in and he also took her car away that we were paying so she has no car, works and has visitations with her daughter and to make things worse her doctor is in Roswell an hour away. my daughter has been blaming the 2 of us and said that we had told her we would help her but since she decided to pay her friends rent we werent going to help. my husband has blocked my daughter from texting me or even calling me the only way she can get in touch with me is to use her friends phone and she is living with her. The fight is still going on as of today and i am so worried and my daughter has been stressed out and cries all the time and still goes to work she is a waitress, her doctor told her she needed to take it easy because he wanted to put her on bed rest but she is the only source of income and she only brings home give or take 8 hundred a month or some. My question is will the baby suffer from all the stress my daughter is going through? I have tried to talk to my husband and told him to give her back her car and to let her live with us, but she has said so many mean things to him and me that he doesnt think is right, I as a mother is worried,but stuck in the middle and dont know what else to do. Will they both be ok?

[amandamae1126]

Sorry to say that I agree with most these ladies on here. There is nothing wrong with helping your family, but it looks like your daughter needs to learn some hard lessons. The more you "rescue" her, the longer and harder it will be for her to learn import things in life (like pay for your own things before paying rent for your friend).

Also, it seems like something a little fishy might be going on here. Who pays rent for a friend before paying their own rent? It doesn't make sense. I am NOT paying rent for ANYONE before I pay my own rent - not even my own mother and I love her more than words can express.

Next, I wanted to say that it does look like you are a religious person and I wanted to let you know (or remind you) that the Bible teaches that God comes first, then husbands/wives, THEN other family such as children. You have to stand next to your husband on this one. That doesn't mean that you can't try to convince him to make up with her and forgive her. But if he is not willing to allow her into your home for now, you really should respect that.

I do hope you all are able to figure this out. I know it's tough, but there must be a reason she needs to learn this hard lesson in life.

[alaysha]

All I can say is its not your fault. If you have shown her you will always be there for her then she should come to you when things hurt her in life. However I think that maybe your husband is doing the right thing. This isn't her first pregnancy its her second and her first daughter is being taken away by the state? It takes a lot for the state to step in and remove a child. She needs to think about the important things in life and learn to take care of her immediate family or its quite possible she'll get this baby taken away too.

[gramma32]

Clysta thank you for your comment everything in your letter has been told to me already by others that I know, I know she has made a really really stupid mistake I agree with everyone, but it coming from total strangers who dont know me or my family I can except. Sharon is my 2nd oldest daughter, I had my first oldest daughter when I was 16 years old, but had to give her up for adoption. I had been molested by my 3rd oldest brother until I got pregnant. I lived with an abusive mother and when she was done abusing me she couldnt stand me so she shoved me to who ever wanted me, I have 10 siblings in my family and grew up with just the four oldest above me for a while an a little with the ones below me. I graduated in 1985 in Hawaii were I grew up and the people I lived with asked if I wanted to move to dallas with them and I took it and went thinking everything was finally going to get better, but it didnt I got raped again by sharons dad and my sons dad not my husband who I am married to know. It has taken alot from me for that to happen not once, but twice. I finally got the husband I asked God for  and he has saved not my life, my 2 kids also. So as a mother I said I will do anything for my children to make sure this never happens to them and that I will protect them and I thought I did till sharon at 20 years old said she was raped when she was 15, but was to scared to tell us even knowing what I went thru and knowing that she could come to us if that happened but she didnt till it was to late. So as a mother I feel like I have disappointed my daughter so I just want to make up for not being there. I appreciate all u have said and everyone is right I need her to take responsability for the decisions she has made. Thanks again

[JoyRenee]

I agree with Clysta. As far as if baby will be okay - baby can definitely feel mommy's emotions. My mom died when I was pregnant with my first and a bunch of other horrible, stressful things were going on and my daughter is just fine. Stressful things happen in life, pregnant or not. Baby will most likely be just fine. ;-)

[Clysta]

Unfortunately it seems like your husband is doing the right thing and it will hopefully teach her. You both won't always be there and she needs to straighten out priorites (such as paying her own rent and not someone elses) There's a lady on here who was pregnant and went through the stress of losing her mom and working to get the funeral taken care of late in her pregnancy as well, so it takes a decent amount of stress to cause problems. I don't think there will be any harm done to the baby. I do hope your daughter works everything out. It's hard for you I know, but if you just give everything back it might just teach her that you guys will always cover her mistakes. See if you can talk to your husband and try to work something out. Maybe you both will be able to set certain standards that she has to follow if she moved in with you.  

[sebastian1976]

I'm so sorry for what your going through. I understand your her mom and like always we are always in the middle yes she did a mistake of paying her friends rent and not hers. But us as mothers can only do so much for them they need to grow up and learn our job is to re insure them that we love them and will always be their for them. Maybe if you talk to her and your husband you can work something out were she can stay with you but have responsabilitys and pay rent shes having a baby yeah I understand she did wrong but she needs a helping hand just remember you cant give her everything you need your hand too please try to take it day by day and relax dont stress I trually hope things go good for your family and hope she can get her other child back from foster care..........