delayed menstraution

[bokleng]

My wife is delayed for a consecutive days and we think that shes already pregnant (without going to some test), the problem is we cannot afford to have another child, we have two already 1 is 6yrs old the other 1 is 5 yrs. old. . . i need some help to cure this anxiety that were both having now. I would like to ask for some suggestions that i can do to this matter. thank you so much. . .

[TARA1178]

Hi, okay, well since she hasn't taken a pregnancy test yet, then don't just assume that it is positive.  Most definately she needs to take one, that is first and formost....then after you get those results, you can think of the options from there.  If she is indeed pregnant, there are only 3 avenues you can take.  The first one is to get an abortion.  I am not sure how you both feel about this option, but it is one.  I am not sure if your wife has medical insurance or not, but if she does then it most likely will cover it.  If she doesn't then take her to planned parenthood, they have several different programs to help financially.  The second option is adoption.  If you have a hard time  with this one as I know many people do because of the thought that they have a child out there with someone else, and it's an uncomfortable feeling, but you can either do an open adoption which means that you let another family legally adopt your child, but you are allowed to still see the child and be a part of it's life, and there's closed adoption.  That means you adopt the child out to a family, and all ties are lost.  They dont know who you are, and you don't know who they are and that's that.  The third and final option is you just buckle down, and have this baby.  I know the concept is scary, especially if you are not financially ready to take care of this child, but I can attest with full experience in this situation, it can be done.  I know it's scary, but it is possible.  If you are in a financial situation that is extreme, there are resources to help you out there to get on your feet such as welfare, medicaid, foodstamps, housing assistance, and many others that can help you with other things like schooling, work resources to help you get a better paying job and things like that.  I know that it may be embarrassing to alot of people, but if you need the help, then you need the help and that's that.  That is what these programs are designed for.  As long as you are using them in the way they are intended, and not taking advantage of them, then there is nothing wrong with it at all.  And if you decide to go ahead and have the baby, and use these resources, the medical insurance she will be granted will help you avoid this situation in the future.  Is the problem that you guys plain out don't want anhymore children ever, or just not right now at this time of your life?  If you guys don't plan on having anymore children at all, and you do carry out this pregnancy and keep the child, after she has the baby, they can sterilize her, or you.  So now, the ball is in your court.  I would sit down with our wife and have a serious conversation and figure out what you want to do, and don't wait, you must do it now, because if you guys decide on abortion, it can only be done in a short window of time.  Good luck to you, and like I said, if you decide to keep it, everything will be alright.  I was in the same situation that you are in now, but I was by myself.  I now have 4 beautiful children, and everything went fine.  I'm not saying there won't be extreme stress, but it all works out in the end.  You just have to have faith.  Please don't hesitate to ask me for anymore advise, and if you would prefer, you can email me on my personal email at ***@****.  Good luck to you and make sure you let me know how everything works out!!!

Sincerely,
Tara

[luvmy2girls]

I agree with the other posters.  First you need to find out if she's pregnant or not.   If she is and you can't afford the baby, there are many loving families willing to take care of your wife's medical expenses and care while she's pregnant to be able to adopt your baby.   Please use protecton if you don't want more children!!!

[julianovak]

uuuu mmmm if you wife is pregnant then obviously she wont just get her period, and the baby wont just 'die' .......... your kind of funny, if u cant afford children you shud have been using condoms at least. --- you knew that if you didnt she could get pregnant(that is what sex was meant for in the begining of time).................. if your wife is preg. i suggest her to go to a doctor, and when the baby is born--- give it up for Adoption if you cant learn to love it. many people wud love to have a baby but cant.

[bokleng]

Not yet . . . we dont want to know actualy, what we want is to go on, on how to get her into menstratution . .

[TARA1178]

Soooo, the big question now is has she taken a test??  Was it positive??  I will wait for your response.......

[bokleng]

What if the test came out to be positive? is there anything we can do about it? ? ? were confused of this thing now. . . Pls help us!

[TARA1178]

The first thing that you guys should do is definately get her tested.  If you cannot afford to get a test from the drugstore, there are multiple places that offer free pregnancy testing.  Contact your local Department of Human Services, and they can direct you to the right place.  It all depends on how delayed her period is.  Definately a missed period is the hugest red flag in pregnancy, but there are other things that can delay menstruation, such as stress, chemical imbalances, ovarian cysts, overweight, underweight and many other things.  My suggestion to you would be first and foremost get her tested asap.  If the test is negative, then wait for a while, it could be that she is just delayed for some reason.  If she doesn't start within the next I would say maybe 2-4 weeks after testing of course, make a doctor's appointment and they can draw blood to see about pregnancy that way and also discuss with you guys the possiblilites of other reasons she has not started.  They can also give her a medication that will make her start.  The biggest thing here is if she comes out not to be pregnant and you guys don't want another child, get her on birth control right away.  You can go to planned parenthood, they have free condoms there, low cost birth control, and also programs for low income for free birth control.  There are resources out there you just have to look.  Good luck to you and I hope all works out well.

Tara

[Kim1989]

my suggestion is..since you two cant not afford another child...you should be using multiple forms of birth control

my other suggestion is you two think shes prengant but you do not know. have her take a test and if shes not pregnant....condoms and birth control