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Avatar universal

hate being a mom.

I feel so bad for this, but i hate being a mom. I love my son but its overwhelming. I know its my fault for getting pregnant and i was so excited to be a mom,but i feel so alone. My bf gets to do whatever he wants. He goes to hang out with his friends whenever he wants, i lost all my friends when i got pregnant. And i hate my bf but i live with him and i want things to,work but hes a **** and he when he talks to me the tone of his voice sounds so mean. Plus he gets to drive my nice sports car cuz i cant get the baby seat in and out and i drive him pos.and nobody helps me. My bf works all day and doesnt help me,even on the weekends. He complains that he doesnt get enough sleep and gets mad when the baby wakes him up. I dont sleep more than 3 hours, EVER! And my mom works too much to help,either. Basically its not fair that we are together but he doesnt help. I think im gonna leave him. And its gonna make my life way harder and ill be even more alone. Im just so jealous that he gets to have a nice car (mine!) And friends and a life and never has to worry about a baby. It s driving me crazy and i just lay at home alone and cry. Sorry for sounding so winy i dont,have anyone i can vent or talk to.
15 Responses
Avatar universal
Girl take your car away from him and trust you could do it your own !!! Move out ! Show him that you don't need him ! You got this .
My mom always thought me never to depend on a man !!!
Avatar universal
I just really wanted to go to school. Right now i dont work and i can barely handle just a baby. If im working i wont finish school, it would be pointless to take out the loans. But i guess maybe thats how it has to be.
Avatar universal
If you already feel alone...theres no reason to still be with him...guys only do what you allow them...nd he driving your car..take the keys nd hide them..make him become a man nd figure out a way to work or to hang with his friends
7732297 tn?1397450437
Its hard being a mother i know but you have to see the wonderful joys that come along with those sleepless nights and staying home. When your baby grows up into a wonderful person you'll be able to say you created that beautiful baby and taught him everything he needed to know about the world:) you should get away from your boyfriend though, he isnt helping the situation by being an axxhole and your son needs to be taught that, that is not how a man treats his family. I hope everything gets better hun.
Avatar universal
A real man makes time for what is really important to him...if he dony do right..take his *** to court nd the government will make him...financially
973741 tn?1342346373
Ahh, it is really hard.  I think often people forget about the 'work' part of having a baby.  I planned my pregnancies and I mean, wanted it more than anything and STILL found it to be hard, exhausting, challenging and at times frustrating.  It's just 24/7 responsibility and a lot of pressure and yes, you lose your old life big time.  I WANTED all of this and still do but it is very hard.  

Hang in there.  There is much beauty in it all as well.  

I hope your boyfriend comes along.  I had a discussion with my husband when our baby was like 3 months old.  I asked him what kind of dad he wanted to be?  that he should probably think about that and think about how he wants his child to think of him as he grows up.  That was a game changing conversation.  My husband dramatically changed.  The other thing I did was listen to my sister . . .  I was EXHAUSTED and feeling like I was doing everything for the baby and my sister said ---  go downstairs, hand husband baby, say I need 2 hours of time and you need to take care of the baby and march away.  Just force the issue.  I did it and you know, it then became our routine.  My husband had 'his' time every night and to be honest, I just went to bed (I was tired.  LOL).  

So, maybe be a little more forceful.  If you can that is.

Hang in there.  peace and hugs
Avatar universal
I Agree With Everyone Here , But You Need To Be A Bit More Demanding When You Say Things To This Axxhole!!! He Needs To Know How You Feel As A Ftm Mother . STOP Allowing This Axxhole To Drive Your Car Now!!! Who Knows What He Could Be Doing? You Need To GROW A Set Of Balls & Woman Up ASAP , Or He Will Do Something Else And I Don't Blame Him Because You Are Allowing This Behavior. I'm Sorry But No Man Will Treat Me Like A SLAVE.
Avatar universal
It sounds like you need a passion of your own momma. Truth is, having a baby takes a lot out of you. And you still deserve to feel like a person, a human being, not just a mom and baby-maker.

I own and operate my own business with Pure Romance. I absolutely am in love with it. It's direct sales, but it makes a large commission. I choose my hours and my income based on how much I want to work. I have such a strong passion for it, for educating and empowering women. I'm not telling you to go out and sign up for PR (although if you're interested, message me! Lol) but find something that makes you happy that you can make money with! This way you can get out of the house without struggling.
Avatar universal
Maybe i made him sound worse than he is. Hes driving my car cuz i cant get the baby seat in and out as easy. Im just jealous that he gets to have a life still and that makes me hate him. And he does have a temper and doesnt help with the baby but he pays for everything and wuld never hurt our son. I know its not a reason to stay if i dont like him but its so much easier having his financial help :(
Avatar universal
And im 18 with only my ged im gona have troule finding a job where i make any decent amount of money :(
8919982 tn?1400720787
My husband had a camero knowing the baby wouldnt fit I made him sell it lol since its ur car trade it in for a van.drop him off at work and u take the car simple as that.talk to ur doctor let him know how u feel sounds like deppresion.and ur staring to feel alone the b.f situation let hin no he needs to cut his s.hit out cuz his a father not a kid to b chilling any more and he needs to help u didnt make the baby by urself.about u working theirs daycare u can pay half the state can pay half if u just dont want to b with him take his asz to child support. His nice little check wont be nice no more.after ur done with him.uf u want to fix the problem with him put on ur big girl panties and set him straight.he needs to help u.point blank and simple if he dont understand the first time u tell him threaten his butt.for u wanting to go out n chill set some rules fridays are ur nights to go out get ur hair done nails done find new friends who has kids saturdays are his nights and sunday would be both of ur nights as in go out watch movies clean day.have him help u wash clothes cook.clean wat ever u want sunday to b.
Avatar universal
I its is hard but you should find a mommy group to make new friends.... Worked for me!
Avatar universal
I Honestly Hate When People Make Up Excuses For An Individual Who Knows They Have Responsibilities & Doesn't Want To Face Reality . You Can Do Many Things On Your Own , If Your Car Isn't Big Enough Take It And Trade It In For Something Else.  
973741 tn?1342346373
Well, how about just working on the relationship for now.  That's a good start.  You don't have to leave him and I know when we have a kid with someone,. we really want things to work.  (when you say he has a temper, he doesn't hit you or anything though, right?  that's a deal breaker).  So, maybe just take small steps to get him more involved with the baby.  My husband also provided for me and that is a lot of pressure.  So, I'd let him come home and have a half hour to unwind before expecting anything out of him.  Then he'd take the baby.  And I realized that to my husband, the baby was like this foreign thing.  He wasn't a natural.  He loved our son but was just a little afraid of the whole thing.  he called his head an egg shell and was afraid of hurting the baby, etc.  So, he had to get used to it and over that and I tried to gently help him alone.  Maybe start by saying you need to take a shower, can he hold the baby for 20 minutes while you shower.  He does that.  he does it a couple of times, he's then holding the baby for you when you need him to.  Then you can move onto longer periods.  ??

I also find that a date with hubby is helpful and important.  I had 'at home' dates.  I would know around what time the baby went down at night and leave a note for my husband to 'meet me at 9 in the family room" and then I'd have a glass of wine, a candle lit, some music, maybe a movie, some snacks, etc. and just try to hang out together as a couple.  It really helps in my opinion to keep a couple close because  it does start to feel like you and baby verses him.  Then it is like YOU TWO are a team with the baby.

Just some ideas.  hugs

OH< and if you feel that this is going to be an unresolved issue, set a date to maybe consider some school so that when you need to or want to, you can get a good job.  You don't have to do that today but maybe have it as a plan in say 6 months or so.  I know you are probably too overwhelmed right now to add anything in it sounds like but start researching it maybe.  hugs
973741 tn?1342346373
Anyway, I think most of us can understand where you are coming from.  good luck dear
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