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419158 tn?1316575204

having babies less than a year apart??

I just had a baby 4 months ago and now I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am freaking myself out a little thinking about dealing with two babies at the same time,  I know that alot of woman have dealt with twins and they do fine, but am I cheating my 4 month old out of having alone baby time with mommy? How many woman out there have had tummy to tummy pregnancys and came out ok?
17 Responses
Avatar universal
First, congratulations! I don't think I knew you were pregnant again!!!

My girls were almost 2 years apart so I'm probably not as helpful since I haven't actually experienced this. But I want to encourage you. I met this woman at a birthday party. She had a newborn, a 1-year-old, and had just found out she was pregnant again. She was embarassed but I could also tell she was really excited. She was going to have 3 children under 3.

You're not cheating your son out of Mommy Time. If anything you're just giving him a playmate that will be his best friend for life. And like you said, many people have twin or triplets and I'm sure none of their babies felt cheated. In fact, those babies always appear to be happier than most singletons I've seen. Probably because they soothe and console one another.

Good luck and I hope to see you more often here!
557405 tn?1276722099
I had a 9 month old daughter when I got pregnant w/ my son. I, too, was a bit worried about being able to give enough attention to each child. But, everything works out just fine and it really wasnt bad at all having two little ones. They have grown up (they are 13 and 12 now) always having each other and are best friends. If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. My life has been so wonderful because of those two. Best wishes to you.
419158 tn?1316575204
Thank you so much for your encouragement. I guess Im more worried because Im so tired all the time. I dont seem to have enough time and energy for the 3 boys I have now...... But yes I do like the idea of having a playmate so close in age. My older two boys are 3 years apart and are good friends but there always seems to be a big gap because of their age:(  
I still cant believe that Im going to have two August birthdays!!!
147932 tn?1226969710
I like u am pregnant right after having a baby. i am 20 weeks pregnant and have a 7 month old daughter. i like u am very scared of the situation. i worry about my daughter not getting enough time with me and also worry about her bc this will make her the middle child. u always hear middle child stories. this wasn't planned but i am dealing with it as the days go on. i think its normal to worry and be scared right? well good luck to u, when r u due? i'm due in may. my daughter was born may 2nd, 08. hope all goes well, keep in touch!!! take care!!!!!
419158 tn?1316575204
I am due around August 21st and my last son was born August 29 of 2008. I know with my other kids the pain of child birth had time to fade and dull befor the next one came along........the last one is still very fresh in my mind, lol. This is the last one,  some one is getting fixed..... I dont know if it will be me or DH:)
Avatar universal
I've never had a baby so maybe I'm not one to answer but I have read that it's best to have babies around 3-5 years apart so that one doesn't lose out on your attention. Clearly that can't be changed here so all I can say is do your best to not skimp out on the attention of either, best you can. Good luck and congrats!! :)
Avatar universal
Hi, my sister found out she was pregnant with her second when her first was just 3 months old. She felt overwhelmed at first and worried about alone time with the first baby too. I guess it depends on the personalities of the children, because unfortunately for her, her two boys one year and 2 days apart fight like crazy since they were toddlers. They are now 14 and 13 and are complete opposites of each other and don't share the same interests, so trying to keep their own individuality was a constant battle between them, since most people treated them like they were twins. Many people I talk to say that siblings close in age become instant playmates, but that isn't always true. However it is still better to have them closer together than apart, when it comes to developmental stages.

My sister and I are 6 years apart and we were at two different stages in life. She hated having to drag her kid sister along with her everywhere and resented me for taking moms attention away from her. She loved being an only child and I took that away from her, so we didn't get along and really become friends until I was 20 and we were finally at the same stage in life.

Now my daughter has turned 6 and we are still trying for our second baby for the last year and a half. I too worry that the same pattern will repeat, but again it depends on the personality of the child, because my daughter loves babies, and has been asking for a brother since she was 3. I am on the opposite side of you, because I am afraid that she will be an only child and not have the playmate that she wants so desperately. I am almost 35 and the hopes of another baby is fading.

My mother was an only child and she was very lonely and always wanted a sibling, so that is always a concern of mine. I have seen all sides of the sibling debate and agree with the 3 to 5 years apart time, as being a more smooth transition, and believe a sibling is better than none at all.

Every child is a gift, no matter when their timing is. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations!
419158 tn?1316575204
Thankyou all for your thoughts and concerns. Its nice to hear diffrent opinions. I understand that whats done is done and we are excited!!  I am just glad to get this done, lol. This will be our last and even though this came very quickly, it was planned. It took almost 2 years to get pregnant with our last so we skipped the BC and started trying right away..........................who knew that it would happen the first month??
691990 tn?1290118847
My husband and I actually planned a tummy to tummy as you call it.  We definitely didn't feel ready when we got pregnant, but we were confident by the time the baby was born we would be ready.  I got my period back when my first son was 4 months old which we weren't expecting so we tried the next month and got pregnant the first try...the other reason we tried quick was it took 6 months to get pregnant with our first...second was much easier!

Anyway, I think the biggest thing for me was I felt like I missed a lot of the pregnancy.  It was so fresh in my memory I didn't really feel like I enjoyed the second pregnancy as much as the first.  That being said it was a very minor thing, nothing I wouldn't do over again in that situation. The next hardest was just the physical nature of having a newborn and a 15month old that isn't independent enough to walk beside you on his own etc.  But the older they got the more pleased we were with the closeness in age.

One thing we like is that when our second son was born our first son was happy and didn't really seem to care.  It was like he grew up never remembering a time when his brother wasn't around and didn't go through the jealousy thing. We are lucky that our boys do get along well....in general :-)...and are both of similar temperaments which works for them.  They share a room and I remember feelings so happy the first night they were in there together.  My youngest was babbling and my older son would copy his noises and they would both giggle and giggle.  

Every situation is so different, and siblings can clash at any age apart.  Also you are a BRAVE women just having 3 sons currently!  I have 2 and am home with them and they keep me going CONSTANTLY!  We are currently ttc and are thinking of another group of two possibly so I may be in your shoes sooner then I think!! :-)  You will do great! And your boys will grow up to be wonderful Daddy's after having so many little siblings depending on them!
Avatar universal
Wow, maybe this one will be a little princess! Are you secretly hoping it is? You can tell me! I know we all ultimately want a healthy baby in the end but I also know we're very human and sometimes have preferences.

I'm very happy for you!
336902 tn?1242009690
we are in the same boat.I have my son 4 months ago too and now 5 weeks pregnant. My son was born on AUgust 31st and this baby most likely will be born in AUgust or early Sept. The only problem for me is, with my first, I had emergency c-section and this pregnancy will be risky for me

I too feel guilty that my son will have to share attention with his little brother or sister. As much as this is not a planned pregnancy, I now accept the fact that every child is a blessing and I am hoping for the best for both us.

3093375 tn?1340913599
same thing happened to me i have a 7 year old daughter it took us 6 years to get pregnant with our second child when she was just 3 months old i found out that i was pregnant shes now almost 7 months old and i'm in my 4th month of pregnancy i don't feel sorry i don't feel stressed about it i know i can handle it my sister has a 14 year old son and a 11 year old son and has identical twin girls that are now 2 months old she has one that has colic and can't sleep much its harder to have two at the same time then one a year apart from the other at least my 7 month old will be crawling and or walking when this ones born even though the due dates 3 days after her first birthday i look forward to it since it took us forever to concieve the second time around and then our big surprise on april fools day that we found out we are blessed you should be too!!
Avatar universal
I just had a baby in february and I think that i might be pregnant too you baby will be okay just make time for him and the new baby when it comes and you will be fine. my oldest two children are a year and a half apart and if you make the time they will be fine
419158 tn?1316575204
I haven't been on MH help in quiet awhile but I was notified by email that someone commented on my old post. I thought I would update for those that don't know me. Our first daughter was born August 8th. Exactly 11 months and one week after our 3rd son was born. My last two kids are 2 and 3 right now and we are getting ready to have a combined birthday party to celebrate them turning 3 and 4! They fight like cats and dogs most days but love each other to the point of over protecting each other also:) It was a crazy scary ride to get to this point from my initial posting but I am so glad that it happened the way it did!!
2195822 tn?1341060511
Thankyou so much for the update and reassurance. I'm 20my daughter is almost 1 and im nearly 15weeks pregnant and freaking out even though I wanted both babies so badly. I'm so tired I don't know how ill cope x
1123156 tn?1338866969
Wow, i love your stories!! Im preggo with my second (due 4 days ago!!) They will be about 23 mos apart......so my son was 13/14 mos when I found out I was preggers.....its a scary thought and I'm praying my son takes well to his baby sister.....been showing him how to be nice but he is a bit jealous with his baby cousin and doesnt like to share.......hoping all goes  well........it is common kid stuff im sure we'll get thru, glad everything worked out well for u:)
Avatar universal
Don't feel bad I have 8 yr old twins a boy & girl.....a 15 month old boy & I'm 38 weeks pregnant with a little girl....lol I take it as I'm prepared since I went thru it all before with twins n everything...not overwehelmed just frustrated since I became a single mother within the last month :( but you'll do fine ...
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