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Avatar universal

loosing faith. . . . )':

Im loosing faith in me and my boyfriends relationship. Im lil over 9 weeks pregnant. And i love him. But i know im better without him. I feel like i cant do this without him. I dont know what to do. I love him but i cant deal with this. Feel like ill never find someone after having a baby by him like no man will want me.  I need to change my life for me and my baby. I cant let my child grow up like i did.. in a abusive unstable unhealth relationship. I just want my baby to have both parents. I totalled screwed up. :'( hating myself
9 Responses
Avatar universal
i have two girls with a guy that use to beat me up even burnt me n raped me with my second bby girl... but i left i did it for my girls now im married n he loves my girls n he loves them.... n now im having his baby first bby.... if a man really loves u will love your kids do the healthiest thing for you n bby.....
wish u the best of luck  ...n remember theres no stronger love than a mommy n bby love
134578 tn?1578157483
Sweetheart, it sounds like you're moving forward.  Knowing that you are better without someone, it's huge.  Very important to understanding yourself and forging an identity.  

Never think that you are unlovable, that a baby will make you unwanted.  A good man would not care.  Obviously you haven't found that good man yet, but if you get your feet on the ground and take care of yourself, sooner or later you will.

One possibility for the baby to have two parents, and I'm sure you've thought about it, is adoption.  There is such a huge need out there, and so many good possible parents who can't find a baby to adopt.

I hope you know that you have made a big step and a hard one, in figuring out that the man you've been with is not the one for you.  Stay with the people with whom you are as good as you can be, or better than you can be.  Don't stay where you are unhappy or dragged down.

(((HUGS)))

Annie
Avatar universal
I'm in the same boat. After 2 1/2 years I dnt think I can deal w my relationship any longer. I'm 13 weeks tmw and I dnt know Wut to du. I love him but its not enough anymore. Respect is love and if Thts true then I can say tht he doesn't love me although he claims otherwise. He says he doesn't know if he wants to b w me. I deserve better than tht. Nd u du to. We both need to b strong.
Avatar universal
This baby is in a way a mircle.  Because many yrs i thought u couldnt. And nothing in the world i want more than is my own child. :'( but i hate myself for bringin a baby into the world like this i alway said i wouldnt do that to my child. Because how bad my childhood was. And didnt want to be another statisic. I dont know what to do. But i do know i want to give my life to god i just dont kno what to do. Or how to do it.
Avatar universal
Ur right i would beg him not to leave me before and now i can "almost" say i want u to leave. Im just terrified. And i love him. But luke young20 said if respect is love. Then there is no way he loves me.
Avatar universal
If you feel like you will be better without him then you basically have your answer. My dad id my step dad but I only see him as my father. He took responsibilty of me and my two brothers. My fiance has a son from a previous relationship and we are going on our second child together and love that boy as much as mine. My aunt has 5 kids and is married to a man who isn't the father of any of em and he takes amazing care of em. Its never a good idea to stay with someone just because of the baby and especially if the reason is u don't believe someone else will love you
3156712 tn?1354121665
DON'T BRING YOURSELF DOWN KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT BY YOURSELF THINKING YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT HIM IS ONLY MAKING YOU STAY IN THIS MISERY YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND SO DOES YOUR CHILD...HE IS WEAK AND BY PUTTING YOU DOWN HE GETS HIS STRENGTH...DON'T LET HIM WIN AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE ELSE FIGURE LIFE OUT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD FIRST THE RIGHT MAN WILL COME ALONG IN TIME AND ALL THE WAITING WILL BE WORTH WHILE
Avatar universal
I wasn't pregnant or abused by my ex, but our relationship had been on and off for years. We would fight about his family, my family, what he wanted and what I wanted out of our relationship, and eventually I just gave up. I realized that everyone was right about what I deserved and didn't deserve and that as much as I loved him I wasn't happy and would be better without him. And then I found my current bf (and future fiancé). You will find a man that treats you like a princess and will love your baby as much as if he/she were his own. Admitting you're better off is the first step towards moving on.
4658567 tn?1364142123
I have a daughter by one of the biggest d bags.. He's addicted to drugs sold them while we were together. Beat me and made my life a living hell while I was pregnant with his child. I finial my left him for good when my daughter was a year and a half. And now a year and half after I left him. I'm so much happier. I enjoy my life and my being with my child more. His life has just gone down hill and now chooses drugs and his gf who's a druggies before his kids. Which I am soo glad that I left and made better for myself and my daughter

I too have gone through the no one will want me. But I know that it's just me putting myself down. And I guess honestly as much as we as humans need companionship I'd rather know that I have my child and my child will always be there and that its the truest form of love.. And I am also pregnant with my second child which must tell me that I am still wanted! I have a child but someone else wants me. And I want someone who has 2 kids!

If leaving is best for you and your baby and will make you enjoy your pregnancy is a non stressful relationship I would do it.. You'll be happier in the long run!
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