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293845 tn?1228001130

past eating disorder tendencies

Well, I'd like to start by asking everyone to be understanding and not judgemental. I know I have a serious issue, that is why I'm being brave enough to admit it and ask for support

Anyways... I used to have a problem with eating. I would restrict my calories and work out constantly. I was addicted to being thin and the process in which it took to get there. During this pregnancy, I had bad m/s and could not eat very much and consequently lost a good amount of weight. My belly got big but everything else shrunk. It felt like all the access fat from my body all went to the baby, leaving the rest of me skinny.  WELL... feeling my new profound collar bones, tiny wrists, and defined jaw line... it brought back all the feelings of my eating disorder. I remember how good it felt to be so thin. I liked feeling the bones (i know its hard to understand). I was in the bathroom the other day admiring the new thinness of my arms, legs, shoulders. etc. It  scares  me. I dont want to get sucked into it again, especially not now!

As for my current eating, I always eat the suggested intake for veggies, fruits, whole grains. Half the time I eat the protein too. I have had feelings that my body (besides belly area) can stay thin on this veggie, fruit, grain, and protein diet. I just won't eat things like pizza, muffins, cookies. etc. I'm not sure if that is unhealthy/unhealty thinking or not?

I love my baby and I do not want them to be affecting by my problems. I dont want to be like this and I feel like a horrible person sometimes. But I have a disorder that will stay with me forever and I want to learn how to deal with it during this pregnancy so that I can eat properly.

thanks for listening. I feel much better admitting it
12 Responses
305005 tn?1358731890
aww, hun , im  so sorry your going through this. i have never  been through that but have read alot on it. just try to think of your baby,  i know you are thats why your telling us, try some of those drinks with extra vit and stuff if you find a day that you cant really eat, or wouldnt even hurt to drink one everyday. just do the best you can do
293845 tn?1228001130
thanks for understanding cindy :) hopefully others will be too. I could cry right now, I do the best I can everyday..  It's just worrying and obsessing about it and wishing I could restrict and be thin. Mentally I am going crazy, physically I am healthy
305005 tn?1358731890
i know girl, just do the best you can, i found an article the other day talking about it and the husband didnt understand it and said the only way he could help her was to be like her. he done it a few days and said it was really hard, then it happened, he was obst with it, like something had tookin over him, i cant really explain all he said, but i have had friends like that to. just do the best you can, i know you can you seem stronge!!
376148 tn?1309903177
well you did a really great thing coming on here and talking about it with someone...because hunny thats the best thing to do..and its the hardest thing to do...admitting something like that is not easy and im glad you were able to do it!! The girls on here are great..they give much advice that helps a bunch! LIke cindy said all you can do is think about the baby and the nutrients that you need to be giving the baby! as far as not eating the pizza goes and cookies and stuff i wouldnt worry to much about that because theres nothing wrong with eating healthy and staying away from fattening foods! It would prob just give you heart burn ne ways...lol...;) If you ever need to talk you can always use this place to vent and chat about how your feeling or what your feeling..its the best thing in the world to have sumone listen to how you feel and be able to talk to them about it without them judging you! I hope you are feeling better about your situation..best of luck hun!
293845 tn?1228001130
awww I luv u guys! You all are making me feel so much better right now. I just have to find a way to block out all of my unhealthy urges..
250155 tn?1485299539
i don't know anything about eating disorders, but it sounds to me like you're eating pretty healthy!  i eat junk like quesadillas and raviolli for breakfast (i know not healthy!).  it also sounds like no matter what feelings you may have about wanting to be thin that it won't get in the way of you doing what's best for your baby!!! :)  so props to you and i hope that you will get all the support you need on here!!!
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