modestmuslim, PPD can be very serious. I just read through your profile and it looks like you had a c-section 16 days ago. You are in the window of time where most women experience "baby blues".
Have you had your first post partum check with your doc? He or she will ask you specifically how you are doing emotionally.
Exhaustion, moodiness, inability to concentrate are all common in early motherhood. It's the degree to which you are feeling these things that sets postpartum depression apart from the usual blues.
Can you be more specific about what you're experiencing? Do you have any suicidal thoughts, irrational thoughts, thoughts of harming your baby, or delusional thinking?
I had my appointment on Friday and she did ask but I was to embarrassed to admit how I'm feeling ..I don't want to harm my baby or myself and I am.not having any delusions but I am experiencing lost of appetite , hopelessness, relationship problems,financial problems,loss of interest in things I used to enjoy,not feeling as bonded to my baby as I expected, feelings of guilt about csection, feeling sad/angry most of the time ...not sure if mY history of panic and anxiety attacks are related but Ive had quite a few of those last year
Don't want to tell anyone because they'll think I'm crazy and ovrerreacting that's what everyone thought when I used to have panic /anxiety attacks almost like it was my fault
I understand why you would hold this info back from the ppl around you but your Dr is not there to judge you .. she's there to help you .. she could diagnose or rule out PPD and possibly diagnose you with something else or tell you what to do to help your current state of mind .. I would call the drs office and see if you cab make an appt just to discuss what's going on with you
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and that you feel you can't reach out for help.
I had symptoms sort of similar to what you're having, and in my case they resolved. Your symptoms do seem more severe than what I experienced, and I didn't have the layered on financial and relationship problems.
Can you join new moms groups in your neighborhood, or is there a megachurch in your area that has a MOPS group? At this point, are you able to get up in the morning, shower, go about your daily routine?
I would strongly suggest talking to your doctor, modest. They don't have to let anyone else know - you have HIPPA regulations that will keep your doctor visit and discussions confidential.
One of the most important things you can do for you and your baby is be honest with your doctor about what you are feeling. I am sorry that anyone has made you feel like those feelings were your fault. Society has such a stigma about depression, but that is not something you can help and it will not go away on its own. Please don't be afraid to talk to someone about this. My doctor said crazy hormones were normal in the first two weeks, but after that you should talk to your doctor.