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Avatar universal

trying again after 17wk loss

Well, long story short here ladies:
background info ; 1 living daughter who is almost 5yrs (first pregnancy, NO issues ended in c section), one 8wk 'missed' miscarriage that I had a D & C for, and a 5wk one I let myself do naturally)
I found out I was pregnant on June 14th - 5 wks.
Everything was progressing fine. 5wk u/s looked good, but sent us for another one at 8wks because I wasn't entirely sure when my last period was. (I had stopped taking my pill to have my period, started it again for a week then we decided to stop using it, therefore - ending in me spotting/having another period).
Dating of the 8wk u/s was fine. Another u/s at 14wks, baby moving around - everything looked perfect.
16wk check up (Sept 5/14) she went to use the Doppler, all we heard was static. She asked me if I felt the baby move prior, and I had told her I actually hadn't felt him the previous day and that I expressed my concern to the Boyfriend and he said I was worrying. ANYWAYS, my heart was racing, and she left to get me a form to be seen immediately in the U/S dept. When she left I kept poking at my belly, telling the baby to move or kick, or something. And I remember going down the elevator. alone, as it was just supposed to be a routine check up. And reading the paper.... I started bawling... "Check for viability". Anyone who has had a miscarriage - regardless of what week you're in, knows that feeling I'm talking about.
The U/S tech said nothing the entire time. Sent me back to my Dr. and she comes in and smiles and says "did the tech tell you anything?" *my heart stops racing. she's smiling. This has to be good? right?!* I answer "no, she didn't", she replies "yeahh, there's not heartbeat anymore, I'm so sorry"
*insert worlds most dramatic emotional breakdown you've ever seen and multiply it by ten, that's what happens when someone tells you that your baby who's still inside you, that's supposed to be safe from everything, is dead*
I drove home, in a daze, by myself. And went to my boyfriend and just cried. We talked about the options the Dr. gave me. D & C, naturally (waiting it out), or being induced and giving birth.
We opted to be induced so as to not wait around and start healing ASAP, both physically and emotionally.
Sept 12th 2:18am I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy we named Levi. He only measured about 14.5wks. And aside from fitting in the palms of my hands, he was absolutely perfect in every way.
I'm still emotional - obviously.
I fit into my jeans again, which is every pregnant womans DREAM after having a child. But not mine. I'm angry I fit in them again. I'm angry I started my period already (on oct. 13). But in a way happy. That meant we can try again after this cycle, right? Wrong.
I'm angry my Dr. has said my OB/GYN might tell me to wait 3 months or more to try again. It was HELL even waiting the mere 28days to start my period again and now they want us to wait 3 months or MORE?!

So, now that you've read my entire life story for the last month. I want to know what you ladies would do (who have BEEN through this), I don't want anyone's opinion if they haven't endured a loss such as this because you have NO idea.

Would you wait? What if it takes me 3 months to conceive? Me and boyfriend talked and we're not opposed to going against Dr.'s orders. Are there any hopeful stories out there regarding this kind of thing? 2nd trimester loss and getting pregnant with success immediately after?

I'm READY for a baby. No one can take away my sweet boy, I know that. I'm NOT ready for another loss, although at this point, it almost seems inevitable.

Ps - We get pathology results back Monday and I see my OB/GYN then.
14 Responses
Avatar universal
I've been through the same scenario. I lost my 1st child at 23 weeks in Almost the exact same way.  I went in to find out the sex at 19 weeks and they told me to come back in a few weeks to get better measurements of the heart,  and when I went back the technician asured me this was normal and everything was fine with the baby until she began giving me the ultrasound,  she was silent especially when I started asking questions.  She left the room then came back in tears to tell me my baby no longer had a heart beat. As you can imagine, my world crumbled. I was completely shocked and no one had any answers for me. After 14 hours of labor, I delivered my son. He was just over a pound and about a foot long,  the most perfect little angel I've ever seen.  This all happened in June 2013.  Afterwards, I wanted nothing more than to get pregnant again. But I decided to give my body sometime to heal and to make sure I was in perfect health both mentally and physically to try to have another baby.

In short, you just went through a very tragic event that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  Events such as these need time to heal. I think you should wait it out for at least 3 months.  I waited just about a year,  I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with another baby boy and I couldn't be happier.  in hindsight, I'm glad I waited.
9634886 tn?1405823205
I'm so sorry for your loss and for what your going through!
Avatar universal
thank you Micracle.
We were just SO excited when I started my period, thinking that waiting until it was done meant we could start trying again.
After my D&C I felt fine physically. And haven't had any issues. So I don't know what to do. This makes my heart ache even more :(
Avatar universal
Smae, even with waiting did you find that everyday feels like a milestone? I'm afraid of waiting, and then getting my hopes up for another pregnancy and feeling everything will be fine, just to be going through this again. You know? At least now, the pain of losing him is still there, so if I were to get pregnant and it end in heartbreak again, it would in turn 'soften the blow' I guess? Ugh, my mind is all over.. I change it everyday.
Avatar universal
So sorry for your loss. I lost my first child when i was 13 weeks along all i eanted was a baby. Me and my husband started trying again after 2 months. i got pregant with my daughter and it was a rough pregncy i was put on bed rest. you have to go with what your heart tells you os right.
Avatar universal
it's only been 5wks but it seems as if time isn't progressing at all.
Vmcgary, when you started to try again, did you conceive before your next period?
I'm thinking if I wait one more cycle, that will put me at the middle of November for next period, and then we'd know by Christmas if we were pregnant.
keep in mind the previous two miscarriages I tried and we only had intercourse once during that cycle and got pregnant each time.
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