Pregnancy Community
72.3k Members
Avatar universal

young stay at home moms?

hi, i'm 20, and our second baby is on the way, i'm 9 weeks, and i started college...but i can't do it, i'm giving up....its only my third week in college and i've already missed 5 days...and i will miss more days, i just can't combine college and being pregnant... :(
3 out of them days i stayed at home because i had a cold...i was feeling horrible, but i didn't get a note from a doctor that i was sick (tmi) and when i went to my coordinate teacher to tell him i was sick (i can only have like 7 unauthorised missed days, i.e. missed days without a doctors note or equivalent) he said "well i have a cold, but i'm still in aren't i?"
so he marked those three days as unothorised....then one day i missed cause i had spotting in the morning, so we went to hospital..and theres long ques...so i missed college...then one more day i missed just cause i was feeling dizzy and very very nauseated...
so yeah, i can't keep on missing days, and i can't be getting doctors note for being "nauseated" or something...

there will be more colds, more flus, more sickness....i just can't do it...
should i quit college? how can i cope? how can i combine the two together?

:( sad and depressed

(btw, the college course is only two years..nothing major... just studying to be a dog groomer...so its okay if i quit...just not sure if i should :(
12 Responses
Avatar universal
Im 21 22 in oct im 14w 3d with our second baby. Im a stay at home mom. I will tell you my experience cuz I dont want to give advice. With our first I was in college when I found out. I started missing a lot of school from nausea and vomiting and decided to drop my classes. The next semester I started classes again. I was doing fine until the end. I started having contractions and missed my finals. So I failed my classes. After I had my son I didnt care about school. I just wanted to be a mom. My heart was never in it or I would've gotten it done. My bf is fine with me being a sahm so I never saw the point when I had what I wanted all along. This is just my thoughts on it. It worked out for me and im glad im a sahm. I wouldnt want it any other way. So I guess you have to decide where your heart is. If its not in school then you probably wont finish anyways. But if its something you really want to do and you dont wanna be a sahm anymore then get back in there or consider dropping your classes and starting fresh next semester
Avatar universal
i'm very happy for you:) and about exams, i'm due right when the exams will be on, so i will probably be in labour and miss them and fail anyway... i would like to quit..but my fiance doesn't want me to be a stay at home mum:(
today, he said that its not fair, not fair that i would stay at home while he works and provides for the family (he is in college too, he is not providing for the family, our government is, and he hates the course he is doing and he wants to drop out) so i don't know if i'm moody or if he IS right, and i'm being unfair..
i got very moody in the morning and was crying, and he just like didn't care, he said i was acting like an as*hole :(
so i don't know :(

(and my fiance is very very good, he just says things that he knows would upset me when hes annoyed or angry.. but usually apologises, but this time he actually meant it.. that i was an ******* for wanting to be a stay at home mom)   :(
Avatar universal
Well if you were a sahm then you would be cleaning cooking and taking care of the kids. Ask him if you work whose gonna clean cook and take care of the kids if he says you then tell him hes sadly mistaken if he thinks youll be doing.it all. Men need to learn their role in life. And it is to provide for their family. Children need their moms and no that doesnt mean women cant work but some women want to be at home so their kids dont go to daycare and.thats ok too. Tell him what you want and stay firm put your foot down
Avatar universal
The great thing about college is that you can go back anytime so dropping out is such a huge deal. That being said though most colleges offer lots of online courses now. You could go to your advisor ( or whoever helps with planning your courses at your school) and see about switching to online courses for now. You should be able to get most of your general ed courses out of the way making it easier when you do go back. If this is your first child it'll also help keep boredom at bay while you're at home. As much as I love staying at home and being a mommy I'll be the first to admit it gets boring sometimes lol
Avatar universal
Thats supposed to say *not* such a huge deal
6181204 tn?1389018322
Uggh I went through the same .. I'm 19w with my 2bd child (my son is 6 so this is like brand new to me all over again lol). I just completed my 1st yr of school at the Art Institute .. I was enrolled full time (that's 5 classes for an 11 week quarter) .. I found out I was preg during my summer break & went back to school when I was 8 weeks .. I explained my pregnancy news to all of my teachers as I felt necessary because with this pregnancy I am extremely tired all the time to the point where I get the worst headaches that make it hard to function .. my original plan was to stay in school until I was 7 months but after missing numerous classes and having to fail 3 out of 5 of my classes for not showing up and barely making it through the 2 classes I had left .. I decided to withdraw from school until next summer .. I feel bad because I made a lot of progress and I just want to get it done but I've made a promise to myself to make sure that I go back .. no excuses

PS .. I've also dealt with insensitive comments because I had to miss a class due to me spotting for 2 days and instead of getting personal I simply informed my instructor that I was bot feeling well and his response to me was well I'm not feeling well either and I'm still here (i hadn't informed him of my pregnancy yet) but I thought that comment was really uncalled for and I explained to him that I was preg but I didn't owe him an explanation .. me tellin him that I wasn't feeling well could have meant a number of things that doesn't concern him .. lets just say j never had a problem out of him again lol
Avatar universal
I am finishing my last semester & it has never been so difficult. I usually work, intern, and go to school just fine.. so including 16-21 credit hours, I am used to doing 60-80 hours of work a week (20 intern-20 paid job)... I am just interning & doing school, and it's exhausting. I feel like my brain isn't working as well as usual, I just wrote my first paper & it was torture, haha. I don't know why pregnancy does this, but I do believe we can do it! That being said, other posters are right that you CAN go back. One of my favorite quotes is, "Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end." It will work out :-)
Avatar universal
its my second baby, and my first is only 8 months, so no boredom here :)
i'll talk to my fiance, see if he will agree with me taking a year off...

thank you very much
6181204 tn?1389018322
Yea he has to be understanding .. I could see if yall were both working hard to provide and barely making ends meet and then you were talking about being a stay at home mom .. then I could see him saying well that's not fare . . Because yall would obviously need that extra income but he doesnt work either .. tell him its in the best interest of ur grades .. maybe try to find a part time job to satisfy him if he's still acting iffy but I think he should understand
Avatar universal
This is my first baby and I go to college and work same with the father of my baby and ya it's hard but I know it's what I have to do to make a better future for my baby, myself and for Logan. I work my *** off every single day. I don't miss school or work unless I have a doctors appointment or I can barely get out of bed. You can do there a lot of women who do it. So can you...
Avatar universal
Woman are meant to be stay at home moms as soon. As they decide to have a baby that's their job from then on out don't get me wrong some moms still love to work work work but then some moms like me for example have 3 kids and one on the way and don't want nothing more than to be a sahm and that's what I live for my husband is against me working he says he is the man and that's his job which he is 100% correct men work for a living to provide for their family to make sure they have food in their belly and clothes on their back and the woman cleans the house nurtures the kiddos and keeps everything homey for when the hubs gets off work! Now the collage thing me and mine are both wanting to do some classes mines for criminal justice And his for the same and we are going to work around each others schedule but make sure one of us is home with the kiddos I don't do daycares or babysitters unless it my mom nobody else has my trust but I do believe if you feel as though you can proceed school at some point during this pregnancy do it keep your head up and if not hey girl it will still be there when your ready for it! Don't get all sad/depressed cause of this it happens and if your not feeling it don't push yourself being all preggers and what not you can do without the stress right now anyways :)
Avatar universal
And some stay at home moms don't actually parent even though they're home all day, I know a lot of working mom's who are more involved in their children's lives than stay at home moms. It's not a womans job to do anything but what she wants to do.. whatever that may be... the best mom is the mom who loves their child and is involved in their life, any other constituents are personal choice and what is right for you.
Have an Answer?
Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.