Avatar universal

He talked me into getting pregnant

My bf and I have known each other for 4yrs and we only started going out about 4weeks ago. He kept telling me how much he wld love for us to have a baby, we first had sex around my ovulation period and I told him to use a condom that I wasn't safe but he said he won't mind if I got pregnant as he wants us to get married next year. I found out I was pregnant last week and he said "Abort it" I'm not ready yet. "Now I know you can get pregnant so abort this one and we can start having babies next year..." I am so devastated. He said if I decide to keep the pregnancy I'll never see or hear from him again.
5 Responses
3060903 tn?1398565123
It's a terrible idea to consider having a baby with someone that you've only been "going out with for a month".  How could you possibly know anything about a person in that time frame? You have to live with someone to know what there like, and since you've said going out, you may not have even done that, but it doesn't matter, 4 weeks is not long enough to to know whether you can trust your heart to this man, let alone entrust him with your child.

Bedroom "talk" (fantasy) is cheap. I hope that you will learn a lesson here that you must see a person in action, and never take a person's word for anything in this life. You need to see a man commit to rent, to bills, to cars, to vacations etc., and see if he what type of person he really is. He's said to you that if you have the baby you will never see him again. lf you are unable to abort a child, he is saying that he would abandon his child, and that doesn't sound like he's a very nice person. Furthermore, he's the one who purposely got you pregnant, obviously during a fantasy make out session. This does not speak highly of his character. What else is he going to leave you in a bind with, should you stick with him? Maybe screw around on you while your pregnant? Leave you if you get sick? HE SOUNDS VERY IMMATURE,

The idea that he said abort this child, is because he is not ready to be a dad yet. How could he be, after only 4 weeks? He doesn't know you either. Choose whether keeping the baby is your best option, and work from there.

Are you clean and sober? Are you employed? Where do you live? Are you educated (college/ university)? Do you have family support? Do you have friends?  Do you have a plan?

Thank you for posting your question. I feel for you, this must have been a shock, but you knew you could get pregnant too, so you in fact planned for this child, and now you will need to give the baby your full attention, and not worry about whether he is in , or out.

There are marvelous forums for new mothers, and i hope that you find a healthy amount of support here. Get strong and tough, and make your child your first priority, and you will find another man that will love you, if you give the relationship enough time to grow and mature. I'm here should you need to talk. God bless you and your child.
4524508 tn?1357424035
I don't think you should listen to him it's your decision you can't be vulnerable and gullible I have had a abortion before and I can say that it has made my life worst its really puts you in a stage of depression now I'm pregnant And I'm keeping it I'm so happy because regardless of any man I know I can do it don't be afraid God is on your side God will never put something in your life if you can't handle it  
Avatar universal
Please do not have an abortion. How can you do that to the poor innocent child? You can make it alone my mother raised 7 children on her own and she did not finish school. If she could make it with 7 I am sure you can make it with 1. It may not be easy but at the end of the day you wont live with the regret of killing your child and wondering what he would look like. Please make a wise decision and let us know what you decide.
Avatar universal
DONT DO IT PLZ.  I've done it before and it was the worst decision I've ever made. If he feels that away about the situation then leave him. It's YOUR body not his body. Keep ur child and love him/her like u never loved anyone else.... Good luck
Avatar universal
I was in a year long relationship and had gotten pregnant• The guy asked me to have an abortion and swore that if I did we would stay together• Well loving him such as I did, I had the abortion• Soon after he started playing games braking up with me getting back together etc, finally I decided I was going to move on with my life! Awhile later I got with a guy I knew for 6 years, we were safe cautious and all but I ended up pregnant the first time we had sex! He too asked me to have an abortion! I told him he was crazy! Now we are married almost 10 years our son is almost 9 and I love our life, though its not easy I wouldn't change a thing  

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