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Predict the Result of Forbidden Relationships

Guy and girl #1. Fall in love while still in high school, get married and have 3 children. Two boys and a girl. The perfect couple in every way. He is a manual worker all day in the heat, she tends bar at the local popular Fridays. Been there for years both of them. The kids are into football and Dad is right there after working all day but had developed bad habits when it comes to communicating and meeting the needs of the wife. He does not really have many friends,but does dedicate any extra time to the sports of his children. He is a loving man with a temper out of this world when provoked. Wife is only one who can calm him.

Couple #2. Guy and girl married for 13 years, oldest child is 9 years old. They made the mistake of joining groups of activities where friends had sex with each other. Did not work, destroyed the wife's self image and to make things worse, she developed severe jealousy at hubby's friendly and outgoing personality. Living in the same house but in separate bedrooms. He too works part time at the local Fridays restaurant.

Neither couple is having sex nor are they actively trying to work on their marriages.  Girl from couple A meets Boy in couple b and start a relationship, at first talking and later leading to a physical relationship. Now she thinks she is in love. The guy from couple b is friends with the husband of couple a. There has been talk previously but allegations denied by both parties., regarding a relationship between the two.   Wife from couple b bugs car of husband and overhears her hubby talking to wife of couple a. Gig is up, now word is out and wife of couple b is making threats to wife of couple a calling her employment, making threats, attempting to contact hubby of couple no1.

Now wife of couple num 1 realizes she must confess to husband and is working on the time to do it and is in fear of her life as well as the lovers life. She does not want to hurt him, did not plan this and now thinks she is truly in love with the lover. Hubby of couple no2 has been caught and is now shunned by family members for his actions and is sleeping on a couch of a friend. What do you think is going to happen?

This is a true scenario that will play out in the next few days.  I would like you to predict what you think is going to happen when hubby from couple #1 is told that his wife has been in an affair with a guy that claimed to be his friend and is now in love with his wife and is a threat of him losing his family over. Remember, this guy lives, breathes and eats his family and worships the ground they walk on.  I will let you know if any of you are correct in your prediction.
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Avatar universal
where is wife no 2 while all of this is going on have they forgotten her?  jo
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Avatar universal
They met, they talked, hubby#1 cried. Wife stuck to her guns about not going back, regardless of how things turn out with lover boy. They agreed to figure things out themselves rather than pay lawyers a bunch of money for the same thing they can do themselves.
In the state of florida the only statutes for getting a divorce are six months of residency and proof that marriage is over. If one of the party files for divorce the other cannot contest it. It goes thru anyway. All states are different in their divorce laws. As long as no one has filed in Florida, sil could pack the kids up and haul them to Ohio where the divorce laws are much much different.

So all is calm for now, but we all know that is not gonna last long.
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Avatar universal
That's a lot of money for a divorce and since adultery is not recognized as a reason for divorce (that's unbelievable) what then irreconcilable differences? I'm glad that both hubby's were able to discuss the situation like adults without all hell breaking lose over the phone, BUT if they meet in person, you never know! I'm glad the children will be able to spend time with both parents and counseling will help them to through their school.

If I were your daughter, I would be concern about meeting hubby 1 anywhere, but let's see how this plays out.
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145992 tn?1341345074
What are they going to talk about?  The kids?  Their marriage?  I think hubby #1 will let out a lot of hurt and anger and I feel like it could end poorly but wife #1 can make the difference with her responses to him.  If she doesn't get angry back or seems remorseful, then perhaps the conversation may not get out of hand.  She needs to control herself even if he verbally assaults her.  She needs to understand he is really hurting, he's been betrayed by not only his wife but also with his friend.  So it's a double betrayal.  She can be the bigger person here.
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Avatar universal
Okay, well! Today the wifee of hubby #1 consulted an attorney. 5000.00 big ones now to handle a divorce. Here is the good part of it all. The state we life in is no fault, which means if someone commits adultry it is not held against them. Another thing is there is no such thing as custody in this state. It is called shared parenting. Both parents are involved. Debts are divided as to what is fair in the particular situation and not necessarily 50/50 as is done in other states.

The other thing that happened today is hubby #1 called Hubby # 2. I think I mentioned earlier that these two had been friends in the past. Well, they talked on the phone about 3 hours or so with hubby #1 crying and carrying on and hubby #2 encouraging him to sit down and talk to his wife, something they had never been able to do without fighting.

So, I was supposed to have dinner with my da and she calls me and tells me she is meeting hubby #1 at his request in a restraurant, to talk.   So, why do I get the feeling that after he has a couple of beers, all hell gonna break loose?  Kids are with a sitter. What do you all make of this?
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Avatar universal
i am quite sure my mother loved me but she was a fair and harsh woman she was honest and she told me when i got married i was making my own bed and to lay in it, she never offered advice or help she said my marriage problems were up to me, she never watched the children as she traveled and had her own life to live, so i can give no advice except that maybe she should learn the hard way she made one big mistake in takibg the boyfriend to help her move that is like rubbing salt in a raw wound  i know that you love your daughter, but will she do it again, i see no way for her to get the children and it is sad that they should see the parents argue surley wife no 1 knew this when she had her boyfriend go with her i wish you luck in your decisions go with you own instincts   jo
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Uy ya ya....this is becoming a complete disgrace.  First of all, wife #1 shouldn't have brought her lover.  I'm sure she could've found someone else to help her.  Secondly, husband #1 is acting like a disgusting pig.  You don't involve the children in any way.  That is still their mother, no matter what happens between the two of them.  To put the kids in the middle is a disgrace.  I hope somewhere down the line these two can work together for the sake of those kids.  Although, I think that may never happen.
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Avatar universal
Sil and the kids are moved in to the new residence. Wife spent the last two days getting her stuff out and her lover helped her leaving for a new round of hurt feelings and intense anger on hubbys end, which I think ***** cause he refused to help her himself and she had to have someone.  He screamed at her and yelled at her in front of the kids and told the 7 year old to tell his mom how bad of a mother she was. Seven year old said, Daddy there is nothing in my brain! Looked scared. Mom left crying and Dad followed her to the car and hit the car and told her she would never get the kids, period. Da called me crying because the kids were scared and needing to c a lawyer but no money. I know she is looking to me for help, dont know what to do.
Helpful - 0
458072 tn?1291415186
Oh what a tangled web we weave. This is such a mess, and the children are the innocent victims here. They didn't do a thing to cause this, yet, they are having to pay such a high price becuase of the parents selfishness. Being a parent means your kids needs come first.

I say the adults get whats coming to them, but those children, that is what is so heartbreaking.

  Our actions bring consequences to others besides ourselves.
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Avatar universal
I do not remember if the age of wife no 1 was mentioned or the age of the boys of wife no1 maybe wife no 1 has not matured enough to realise just what she has done if hubby no 1 took her back it would be because of the children, but he would never trust her, also i cant see why she left the chilfren if she loved them, matbe she wanted to be free as a bird, i realy do not think that she is looking to the future, if hubby no1 gets a divorce it will be natural for him to remarry and the step mother will help raise her children, i wonder if she knows what will happen, and also what will the children think of what she has done, will it bother her, or is this what she wants no one knows what is in her mind at this point wife no 2 will probably stay with her hubby, and cater to his wishes it really is a mess and both wife no 1 and hubby no2 should  suffer together for all the hurt they have caused. i do worry about the children and hope for thei sake they can be happy as the ole saying goes maybe it will all come out in the wash  jo
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145992 tn?1341345074
I think eventually hubby #2 will go back with his wife. I agree with megochick that she needs to get her life on track. Start taking care of herself and her kids financially. My fiancée's sister completely abandoned her daughter since she got into a new relationship, does your daughter even feel bad or miss her kids. I just can't understand it because I would fight tooth and nail for my child.
Helpful - 0
902589 tn?1268148853
It's kind of ridiculous to ask her hubby for money to watch her own kids! What is she thinking?? They are her responsibility too, she doesn't get compensated for spending time with her children because that's what she should be doing in the first place! I would think seeing her children would be the most important thing here.

and I don't think her lover should be responsible for getting money for her. She needs to step up, be responsible and do it for herself. She created the mess she's in so she needs to take care of it herself. I also agree with the others that even though she's your daughter, she needs to do this on her own, and I also wouldn't step in, she's an adult, she made her bed, she can sleep in it. Although teko I don't know how you are able to even deal with this! Good thing those children will be with grandma and out of the drama for a bit! Those poor kids!

Hopefully things will start to clear up, though it'll probably take a long time for the anger to go away(on hubby #1 part)
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Avatar universal
I did tell my daughter that in my opinion, lover boy needs to step up to the plate with the cash, but I didnt expect him to.  My guess is that he will either go back and work it out with his wifee or dump her for another hot bod down the road. She tells my sil how her lovers wife is stalking her. I told the sil to not try to pay the car payment, it was her deal.  I will be watching the kids today while grampa and daddy move them. I will better see what they are going thru when mom and dad are not around. Hope. You guys are great.
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Avatar universal
i with the other ladies...i didn't think you got paid to watch your own kids. if that's the case...WHERE'S MY MONEY??? lol jk jk

those 2 have really cause a heck of mess for everyone. does wife #1 feel any remorse what so ever for ruining 2 families? for uprooting 6 children. stealing away 3 childrens father and (i guess she didn't abandon hers...technically) leaving her children. i wouldn't be able to live without seeing my little monsters everyday. they maybe heading into the terrible twos but...they're mine. they make life complete.

why does she expect her hubby to pay for HER to have a vehicle? it's no longer his concern. his only concern now are those children. which i feel awful for. do they know what's going on? do they understand that their mommy is with another man now? how are they all taking it?
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Don't feel that way teko. Your daughter must understand consequences of her actions. If her husband has custody of the kids your daughter actually has to pay him child support. If she loves hubby #2 so much and he loves her so much then why doesn't he buy her a car and take care of her financially. I mean he wanted her so badly. I think you should be honest with your daughter and tell her how you feel about her actions. She should know the truth even if it hurts her to hear. That's just my opinion.
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Avatar universal
I am finding myself in a precarious situation, because they both come to me to talk. I love my da more than life itself, but find myself so angry with her these days. I cannot help it, my heart goes out to my sil and the kids. I remind myself that it is their problem and try to steer clear of it but it is so hard to do.  I told my sil that his responsibility is to the children, and now I feel guilty for dissing my da. :(

This situation really hurts me and I am so torn.
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Avatar universal
I guess I'm naive and old fashion, because I thought the same. How times have changed.
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Avatar universal
maybe i am not getting this but i did not think you got paid to watch your own kids, jo
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Avatar universal
Wife of Cupple #1 took the van, but thinks hubby should still make the payment. She thinks it is also fair for hubby to pay her to be there at 5 in the morning and get the kids from school and keep the 3 yr old all day. She thought 250.00 wkly from hubby was fair. The person he got to watch them tho will take 50.00 a wk cause is the wife of a guy that hubby #1 works with.

I must really be old fashioned, cause I thought if you left the marriage you were on your own?
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Avatar universal
This is awful and I feel sorry for the kids. Wife#1 w/hubby#2 was predictable, but is she willing to leave the kids behind with hubby 1....this is sad.
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145992 tn?1341345074
What are wife #1's feelings about everything?  About losing her kids, about having to move?  
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Avatar universal
Hubby of couple #1 is taking the kids and moving tomorrow. Wife of couple#1 along with Hubby of couple #2 moved some furniture that she is keeping to the storage unit today. Hubby of couple #1 has found a friend to babysit for a reasonable amount each week, thereby allowing mommy to get a day job to save for a place to live. Wife of couple #2 is still stalking wife of couple #1. Emotions are up and down as is to be expected. Any court action is put on hold for now because neither party has money. Hubby of couple #2 has a date with a lawyer on the 28th. Will see how the weekend goes. I have some stuff in their garage to get out, before the landlord padlocks the place! lol
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Avatar universal
for the kids sake you have to do what you think is best , but whoever sent that pic is one dirty person, it sounds like they want him to do something drastic, i hope that he trys and keeps a cool head  luck  jo
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Avatar universal
I think hubby #2 is being a$$hole and to rub salt in wound sent picture or who know it could have been wife 2, but either way, it was with evil intent to do damage. Not good!

Really good move on the monitery help, but concern for his mental state on selection of new high risk neighborhood! Shows desperation to settle anywhere with kids. Scary.

Glad you stepped in to help.
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