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575741 tn?1235673354

A mans wandering eye

I am a woman that has had two kids...although I've been complimented on many occasions with how good I look for having two kids...I still have a body full of strtchmarks which ARENT attractive!! And when it comes to my man and his wandering eye I can eat it for a bit then I let it out! For example over the last two days I've felt like **** because he doesn't just glance once at attractive women he looks at least 3 times! While I'm sitting right next to him! Sometimes I let it go but then it builds up slowly.... I can't even look at another guy without feeling guilty and direspectful....I have no interest!! So what's the deal?? I hear it's normal...so I try and let it go....but if it's so normal then why do I feel betrayed and insulted.....No I do not have the greatest self esteem....these reoccuring things dont help though...
15 Responses
Avatar universal
A man will look as long as he can see   luck  jo
484465 tn?1532217632
yo!  this is unacceptable!  it is categorized as disrespectful behavior.  on top of it making him look rude and obnoxious, it makes you look stupid just sitting there while he blatantly disses you.  i hate seeing men do this mess.  you should tell your husband about how it makes you feel about yourself as well as him.  tell him it's not to continue or you'll be smacking him to the moon until he learns to behave himself in public with you.  

yes it's normal to study women, but let him do all of his studying when you're not there
492898 tn?1222247198
yup, listen to the last comment especially.
575741 tn?1235673354
Thanks all for your input....I'm so confused on the bounadaries of this situation as many view it differentely...I told him how I felt about it angrily and now I'm receiving the silent treatment....all I said was in quote "Your wandering eyes over the last two days have made me feel like a piece of ****! I try not to let it get to me but **** you make it more than obvious especially when your driving in your mustang! (Cause he gets this I'm hot **** attitude) And sunglasses don't cover it up either! .......Is that bad? I mean he has this mustang that has been his project/hobby which I'm grateful he has a hobby but the second he's in it driving around like a mad man he's all ego!! And his wandering eyes get worse....it's like "yep check me out, I'm hot ****...how you doin??" Ughhhh it just eeks me! We have kids together...how come he never looks twice at me?? Am I old news?? Is it because we've had kids?? Is it because my body is covered in scars?? WTF?? I look at men and women but not more than a glance unless it's something out of the ordinary....so how come it's so ******* hard for him to keep his eyeballs in his sockets?!?! I mean sometimes while he's checking out girls he puts his hand on my leg and the only thing that runs through my mind it "get your ******* hand off my lap unless your going to look at me! " GUILTY!
Avatar universal
Well from a guys point of view, there is no excuse to look while you are with your woman.  I NEVER checked out another girl while I was with my last g/f EVER!  I feel that it is disrespectful.  So the comment as long as guys have eyes they will look is not true.  Not all guys are like that!  You should talk to him and let him know how you feel, but he should already know how you feel about it.
528396 tn?1217529613
My ex husband use to do this to me.  We were in WalMart one day and he literally followed this girl from isle to isle to watch her in her short shorts and tight top.  I thought he was just shopping at first but when I found him and busted him, I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could in WalMart and he made the loudest Dooouuughhh noise.  I knocked the wind out of him.  Well, if he did look after that he made sure not to let me see.  That is soo disrespectful to you.  It is showing that he doesn't think much of your feelings or your relationship and if he is looking that hard while you are on his arm what is he doing when you're not there!  
Avatar universal
sorry about the comment if it hurt, but i have noticed men, and they do look, but one way to get even, why do you not do the same thing check the guys out, and dont let on that it bothers you when he looks, just keep your attention on someone else, you know the ole saying what is good for the goose is good for the gander, and i am quite sure he loves you, maybe he knows it irratates you, and does it on purpose, and yes really extmeski is right he should show more respect, but i found out the more i made of a situation with my husband ,the more he did it sometimes they are like children, also some have an ego as big as dallas, i really do wish you lots of luck also katrina had a good ans also in fact evry one did    luck  jo
492898 tn?1222247198
It's OK to look;  it's not OK to hurt your woman. And if he is insensitive to that, and also everything else you have told us about how he is and you feel? If you are not married, I would dump him. he sounds like a total jerk.

You have to trust your feelings!
Avatar universal
"I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could in WalMart"
  If I changed that to:
"I punched her in the stomach as hard as I could in WalMart"

I think it would be grounds for a domestic violence charge?

What exactly does the phrase anger management mean to you?
Avatar universal
I agree indiscreet looking is rude, on the other hand sometimes it doesn't hurt to play with fantasies.

Coot you want your husband to look only at you?  Assuming that your drawers aren't something the size Omar the tent maker wears. Do this: (I'M assuming your more conservative so I am offering a chaste deceptive way of doing this)

get some sexy lingerie two pairs of the panties, hopefully something very soft that can be compacted very small.  Tell your husband only about the one pair.  Right as you go into someplace hand him the other pair and say "guess what I'm not wearing"  and he will not leave your side all night and will probably want to go home early.
Avatar universal
I stll stand on my original comment.  It's not ok to look!!  It's fine to look when you are with you buddies or alone and all that (look not gawck).  However when he is with his women its a lack of respect and it hurts the other person, not cool!
Avatar universal
Agreed.  And it is only made worse if it is blatant.  It is a lack of respect and all too often a subconcious attempt to make the other partner feel jealous.
100019 tn?1335923317
I am so very thankful that my husband is one of those men that agrees with extrmski.  He refuses to allow himself to look at another woman.  He is married to me and doesn't allow his thoughts to get pulled in another direction.

His teenage daughter brought over a new friend one time to introduce us and asked her dad "Isn't she pretty".  He was very noncommital - the next day he told her that was an inappropriate question to ask him.  He doesn't look at other women and especially at teenage girls.  She understood what he was saying and has respected him about it ever since.

I'm grateful that I'm more important to him than some hot looking chickie.
Avatar universal
"on the other hand sometimes it doesn't hurt to play with fantasies."

I am assuming you are saying that it's OK to fantasize about other women while you are with your partner?



Avatar universal
Do you "mentat non compos" ever take anything in context?

I was trying to advise her on how to get her husband fantasise about her.

But yes "BH" if you are the partner it is ok to fantasize about other women, and is, god help me understandable.

For everyone else I think fantasies about your own partner is best, and I feel it is best to try encouraging your partner to do so.
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