Aa
Am I falling out of love or is this depression?
I've had this crush on this one boy for almost 2 years. At first it wasn't anything special, but over time getting to know him and discovering we have common interests and like the same things, I really felt like we had a bond greater than just friends.
He's the only person I see myself with in the future, as dumb as that sounds. But lately (actually more like for the past couple of months), I've been feeling this hole whenever I see him from time to time. When I see his cute face, it'll shift from me loving him wholeheartedly, and in a milisecond, it's like my brain wants him to just go away and never come back.
Maybe it's because my mother doesn't approve of him? And her teachings are getting to me? That he's too old for me or that his career choices are stupid? I don't think of those things at all. I care more about who his is, rather than what he does for a living.
Am I really losing love for him? Or is this some kinda funk? This really scares me, because I know if I let him go, I'm gonna regret it forever. But why do I feel this stupid feeling of just...nothingness sometimes? Does it mean anything?
He's the only person I see myself with in the future, as dumb as that sounds. But lately (actually more like for the past couple of months), I've been feeling this hole whenever I see him from time to time. When I see his cute face, it'll shift from me loving him wholeheartedly, and in a milisecond, it's like my brain wants him to just go away and never come back.
Maybe it's because my mother doesn't approve of him? And her teachings are getting to me? That he's too old for me or that his career choices are stupid? I don't think of those things at all. I care more about who his is, rather than what he does for a living.
Am I really losing love for him? Or is this some kinda funk? This really scares me, because I know if I let him go, I'm gonna regret it forever. But why do I feel this stupid feeling of just...nothingness sometimes? Does it mean anything?
Yes, it would help to know how old you both are, and what his career choice might be (to figure out where your mom's concerns are coming from).
Most importantly, You've said.. "When I see his cute face, it'll shift from me loving him wholeheartedly, and in a milisecond, it's like my brain wants him to just go away and never come back." I think that you may be a loving person and you might be confusing yourself thinking that your feelings of love for another human being must mean that you want to be with them forever. It happens especially when we're young. You're also attracted to him physically, and perhaps this is the first time in your life. Again, doesn't mean that it's meant to last forever, and culminate in you getting married and having children. Everyone has their own story of their first crush, first love etc. and rarely , in this day and age, does it turn into a monogamous long term relationship. I think the MOST important thing here is that you have feelings of wanting him to go away forever. I think this means that you want to move on from this first crush - this is a strong reaction and i don't think it has much to do with anyone else but you. I think this is you telling you that this crush you have should go nowhere. I think the best place to meet prospective dating material would be when you're in college. It helps to not have to leave a boyfriend for college, or change your inclination to go to college for a young man. I know it's hard to take advice sometimes from your mom. It might help to visualize yourself having a little girl, raising her with love and wanting the very best for her. In that visualization, you might be able to give your mom a little more credit and maybe even appreciate her love and concern a bit more?
Most importantly, You've said.. "When I see his cute face, it'll shift from me loving him wholeheartedly, and in a milisecond, it's like my brain wants him to just go away and never come back." I think that you may be a loving person and you might be confusing yourself thinking that your feelings of love for another human being must mean that you want to be with them forever. It happens especially when we're young. You're also attracted to him physically, and perhaps this is the first time in your life. Again, doesn't mean that it's meant to last forever, and culminate in you getting married and having children. Everyone has their own story of their first crush, first love etc. and rarely , in this day and age, does it turn into a monogamous long term relationship. I think the MOST important thing here is that you have feelings of wanting him to go away forever. I think this means that you want to move on from this first crush - this is a strong reaction and i don't think it has much to do with anyone else but you. I think this is you telling you that this crush you have should go nowhere. I think the best place to meet prospective dating material would be when you're in college. It helps to not have to leave a boyfriend for college, or change your inclination to go to college for a young man. I know it's hard to take advice sometimes from your mom. It might help to visualize yourself having a little girl, raising her with love and wanting the very best for her. In that visualization, you might be able to give your mom a little more credit and maybe even appreciate her love and concern a bit more?
COMMUNITY LEADER
It sounds to me like you've kind of created a fantasy of a romantic relationship when there isn't one. Does he know you have a crush? Are you dating? A couple? Otherwise, that is a long time to pine for someone without letting them know. I will say that if you are choosing a boyfriend to go long term with, things like his career choices are stupid, parents don't approve, etc. do really matter. You have to be practical. Maybe you aren't depressed but realize that this probably wouldn't work down the road. Any other people interest you? Any other friends to do things with? Maybe beef up your social life to see what else is out there. good luck
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He and I have known each other this long, and I couldn't care less about what my mother has to say. He knows about the crush, and I wanna tell him more on how I feel when I can. Also your answer had almost nothing to do with what I asked before, but I get it, a mother has to always tell their kid how things work to protect them.
If I felt in my heart it would work, wouldn't that be all the more reason that this is a feeling I'm having and I truly care about this boy? And I'm very practical especially about who I want in my life.
Thanks very much for this advice I'm sure I'll use in the long run. Words can't describe how helpful all this sounds.
If I felt in my heart it would work, wouldn't that be all the more reason that this is a feeling I'm having and I truly care about this boy? And I'm very practical especially about who I want in my life.
Thanks very much for this advice I'm sure I'll use in the long run. Words can't describe how helpful all this sounds.
Your mother thinks he is too old for you and you mention she doesn't like his career choices. How old are each of you?
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