all stressed out

[coishae89]

So I found out I was pregnant at six weeks and was excited beyond belief and although we don't always see eye to eye so was the father or so I thought.  I'm almost six months now and our relationship is the worst.... honestly I'm scared for me and my son's well being  and he isnt even here yet. My son's "father" is inconsistent has missed every ultrasound and has recently become verbally abusive ( he told me bc i didn't answer the phone when he called 20+ times that he hopes I didn't answer bc I was having a miscarriage, he hope the baby was still born and that I died giving birth)  I told him he will never see my son and he said f myself and my son. Then turns around and tells me I cannot keep him away from his son and will take me to court .I've seized all contact  .I feel at this point he's mentally unstable. Its so hard for me not to stress knowing that if we go to court and they give him any kind of visitation. I'd never forgive myself if anything was to happen to my son in his care.  And I feel so helpless. But I know that isn't good and I want my son to be healthily. I just.... don't know

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Welcome.  Well, it's always tough when a pregnancy is unplanned.  I think a lot of guys get overwhelmed with the idea of becoming a father especially if they aren't feeling close to the mother.

the bottom line is that he DOES have a right to the child and can take you to court for visitation.  and unless there is something major going on like he is a drug addict or you can document physical abuse or things like that, he SHOULD be in the baby's life whether you two are together or getting along or not.  

that's the reality.  he's the father of this child and your child WILL want to know him.  Kids CARE about knowing both parents and it hurts them not to.

BTW, I was married, planned my pregnancies and my husband only went to one ultrasound---  no appointments or anything else.  He works and I didn't see any need for him to be there.  So, I would not be too upset about this.  Hopefully your ex has lots of things going on that make him busy such as a good job!

So, my earnest advice to you is to focus in on the baby.  Give him updates without any drama.  Don't expect that you two will be a couple as that sounds over but DO make it easy for him to know the baby.  You be business like and friendly as it is in the best interest of your child.  Having a baby means we have to put our own 'deal' aside and do what is right for the child.  You chose this guy to make a kid with (no matter how it happened)---  so, you have to deal with him for the rest of your life.  So, make it as undrama like as possible and as businesslike as possible and hopefully it will all work out for everyone.

good luck

[kcbnewman]

I was in a relationship like that for 2 years mentally and physically abused.... I finally decided enough was enough and I never plan on going back. I think you made the right decision. Good luck keep your head up and take care of yourself and your child.