Avatar universal

Am I turned off by my girlfriend mentally?

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. Before being with her I've never been with a female.. im female btw. When I first met her she would get me so wett and turned on just by looking at her now we have to do 4 play before I get moist and it's not like before. It's just wett. Before it would be soaked. I don't feel like in missing penis I don't even like her to use a strap on me I'd prefer just clitoris simulation what is going on with me? Am I wanting a man that in used to or is she just not doing it for me like she used to?
4 Responses
134578 tn?1614729226
It might not be the sex per se, it might just be that you are past the honeymoon part of your relationship (said to be the first two years, whether a couple is gay or straight doesn't make any difference). I don't think in your shoes I would focus on the level of wetness to determine whether or not it's a happy and fulfilling relationship. Are you two getting closer all the time, and more certain of each other? That is what to be wondering.
We are really close. Too close we are together all of the time unless we are at work but I worry that in becoming less turned on by her and it's too early in our relationship for that. I'd rather sleep than have sex or play with myself. But I know for sure I don't want to be with anyone else. Is my body telling me something? I just worry because I don't react to her the way I used to
973741 tn?1342342773
This is a hard one.  Are you so close that you see her as more than a friend than a lover?  Have you been in other long term relationships that remain sexual prior to this one?
Yes. I was in a 7 year relationship prior and the sex never got old.
Hm.  So it is interesting it has here.  Again, do you think she feels more like a friend than lover?  Do you think it is a sign that you SHOULD be friends and not lovers?  And, do you have sexual desire in general---  this isn't a libido thing?  
Or depression? That can also reduce sex drive to zero.
Avatar universal
I want to offer an alternative perspective here and you can take it or leave it and I might be way wrong. Do you think it could possibly have nothing to Do with her? She’s beautiful and attractive and the other aspects of your relationship are fulfilling, is it possible that it’s you? That maybe you’re feeling down or different? My biggest mistake in my relationship was blaming my unhappiness on my partner because the sex wasn’t passionate enough or he wasn’t sweet enough but the reality was that he put in a lot of effort and I was very very depressed and holding on to childhood agony of being neglected abandoned sexually physically and verbally abused with basic needs withheld at times. I was not passionate because I was not whole and complete on my own. Take that for what it is, I could be way off and if that’s the case I’m so sorry but it seems like you’re looking to your relationship as though that should make you happy but there are so many aspects of your life that just because you’re not happy with your sex life or you’re feeling bored in tour day to day life or not as fulfilled might have nothing to do with tour partner. If they’re putting the effort in and you don’t want anyone else I would think about how you feel about yourself and how the other areas of your life are going :)
Omg great insight and you may be right. I've never really been single and I don't mind being alone but with that said I've never really had me time to focus on me and what I really want in a partner or just being happy alone b4 bringing someone else in the mix.
AND that’s not even to say you have to breakup, what I’ve learned from being in a serious relationship is you can work on being complete on your own and start to lift the expectation you have of them to make you happy and lift the burden of being responsible for your happiness while still loving eachother. But you may want to seriously consider the idea she may be just fine and you may need to practice self care and maybe counseling. Just some food for thought :)
3060903 tn?1398565123
am wondering if the long term relationship was with a man, that it might be that in the long run you're more responsive to men than this first experience with a woman?
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