I'm so sorry that you miscarried your first child. I did as well, and it's hard to get over being fearful for the next. It's unfortunate that there wasn't a pact in place that your boyfriend would have had the choice to make, or break before you became pregnant again. However, it is certainly not unreasonable for you to have expectations in your relationship now. If it were me, I would consider marriage counseling, so that he can see that your expectations are founded by another respectable source. Since you've chosen to get pregnant without a plan for sobriety in place, I'm afraid you must consider being a single parent, for awhile. Undoubtedly, you will find a man who takes family responsibility seriously, and has the same values, but you will need to be independent in order to do so and rely on yourself primarily to raise your child. I'm sending God my prayers for you to have a healthy pregnancy, and a good life, post pregnancy. If you need to talk, please feel free to message anyone, myself included. I have a grown son who is 24, but I can remember how vulnerable I was in early motherhood! Take Care and Keep the Faith!!
You're definitely not in the wrong. If he can't be with you and spend time without using drugs, then there's something wrong there. It's a red flag. Keep in mind drug use, if reported, can get CPS involved. You may be forced to make some decisions then if you can't get him to stop and don't make them now. Tell him you need him to stop for the well being of your child.
I had same problem as you.. All thru my pregnancy drinking and taking deugs were more important.. I used to cry beg n pkead for him to stay in.. Esp near my due date.. In the end when i had our son and he was 6months old id had enough and kicked him out.. I think ur so right to be mad.. Will he still be doing it when baby here cos if he will your better off being alone.. Trust me x
Oh goodness, no it isn't wrong. Your warning bells are going off as they should be. This isn't someone who is a good choice to father a child with. And now you are stuck with it. I would distance yourself from him to be honest as I think this is going to get worse and you dont want to be there when his casual use becomes full blown addiction and there is a baby in the house. goodluck
PS: very very sorry as you are in a difficult spot. Peace
I know everyone is different, but something like that...a BF who finds it a bigger priority to be out partying and getting high than supporting you and preparing for baby...that would be a deal breaker for me.
I think you need to honestly communicate with him that this lifestyle just isn't reasonable anymore...you don't like it, you don't appreciate him doing it, and you think the two of you need to move forward with an adult, "grown up" life that is going to soon include being parents. Party time is over.
What drugs is he doing, and how often? There may be withdrawals involved, depending on what he's using. I too agree that it's just not acceptable behavior...some people would be more understanding...I would have ZERO tolerance for it. If you think he has an addiction problem, you could maybe bring up that perhaps he should try to seek some professional help as well.
He has to want to leave the drugs behind for all the right reasons...not because you told him too, so be prepeared for him to flat out say no, in which case, you have some hard thinking to do. My worry would be that someone not willing to give up recreational drugs for his GF and baby isn't going to probably be very ready to be a dad.
Very best to you...hope he does the right thing.