Are all men like this??? Men, please respond too!!! And be truthful!

[wunabnorm]

Ok... so my husband and I have been married for little over a year. He is a great stepdaddy to my 2 boys, but... he seems to have a problem. Ok...just for example... today, he called me from work, and I guess he was on break, and his coworker which is also his best friend, were getting breakfast at a resteraunt. We talked for a couple minutes, and then we said goodbye, and he hung up, (so he thought) Well... while I could overhear his complete conversation with his coworker, talking about how hot one of the girls that worked there was, then my husband was like "yeah... I wanna smash the little one". And, then the coworker was like and I wanna knock the other one up. Considering he already has 3 kids by one woman, and has another one pregnant right now, this disgusted me! I mean... all his friends are really nice guys in all, and would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it, but... they all seem to cheat on their wives, and or girlfriends, and wonder what it's like to be in every girl they sees pants. They are all in there mid to late 20's, but I feel like this is a problem, and I want to know do ALL men think this way, and some just don't say it aloud, or if they truly need help, because they have beautiful, loving wives at home, but they fantasize about these other girls! I just don't get it. I mean... it is one to THINK about something, but to say it is another. When I confronted my husband about it, he just said "aww... baby... I'm so sorry! I was just talking ****, I wasn't doing anything, and blah.blah... but, I feel like they must talk like this all the time, and if that's how they talk, then that must be how they think right? Basically, they all grew up in the same neighborhood where everyone messed around with everyone, and mostly everyones parents still live in that same neighborhood, and so they continue to be friends. Well, It must be in the water or something because they never change! They still all act like kids. I mean they have good jobs, and families and all, but... they just can't seem to change their boyish ways! I feel like he will NEVER change! So please tell me... Am I overreacting?

[mature_enough]

I hope things have gotten better sweet heart. My husband and I have been doing so much better since I've shared my feelings on these type of situations with him. We have a mutual agreement... He knows that if he acted this way behind my back, it would hurt me. I asked him if it would be hurtful for me to talk about another man this way, and he agreed that it would be very painful to hear. Even if he didn't hear it, to know that my heart was in the wrong place would be repulsive.

Best of luck to you Wanabnorm. I hope you can be open with your husband and he's a good enough man to treat you with sensitivity and respond to it the right way.

[madmac]

Thank you heatherlynn22 but thats my point, not all but most men are like that and the same goes for the women it depends on where they are and what there doing and if drinking is involved. Thats when 95% of people say and do what there thinking then they can pretend to regret it afterwards. If a person is an ***----- drinking their the same sober but obviously don't show it.

[AnxiousGurl]

thank you heatherlynn :) I agree, not all men are pigs, and its human nature to talk once in awhile, so what if some one is "good-looking" so what if its mentioned, but if their is an action to follow (such as cheating Or, posting on craigslist) Or acknowledged purposely to the point of aggravating your spouse, its not right, and that makes him a pig. Not all men are like this, but if theyre buddies talk like that, they may or may not agree or respond, depends on the man. If you heard your husband say he wants to smash the little one or whatever im sorry, I think thats sounding like a pig, and usually if walks like a duck and talks like a duck, maybe it is one, I would just be aware of everything, without accusing anything. Good luck, and hope you never have to overhear him say such a thing again

[heatherlynn22]

madmac....i'm a woman who goes out occasionally for a drink with the girls. we never sit there and discuss other men we see and how we would like "smash" them or "bang" them. the closest we ever come to discussing another man is actors in movies. then the most we say is yeah he looked good in this n that movie or whatever. the only men we discuss are our husbands or male children. that's it.

my husband doesn't look at other women. he doesn't even acknowledge when another woman checks him out. I'm the one who notices. then he's just like oh really? hmmm...ok. and that's that. usually he doesn't even stop what he's doing. so not all men are pigs.
and as for that fact when a man checks me out i don't notice. the husband does. and like him i just go really? hmmm....ok. and don't stop what i'm doing.

[madmac]

I mean no disrespect to women out there but are you ladies kidding me? Have you actually sat and listened to a group of women when they get together over a drink? They are just as bad if not worse than men. I know this lady who went to a private stagette for one of her friends friend, she said she was never so embarrased for the way they acted. She said the male strippers had a game called I believe lick the cream, it's when the stripper puts whipped cream on his genitals and the women had to... well you get the idea. She said she knew a lot of those women that participated and most were either married or had a partner. I am a 50 yr old man and I have met or know a lot of people
in my life and don't know one that hasn't cheated at one time or another. They cheated for the most part with married people like there's no single ones to cheat or be with that includes women. I have 7 brothers and sisters and they have all cheated on their partners. As a matter of fact I was married for 22 yrs and in that time my wife had cheated on me at least 4 times. She had sex with at least 3 , thought she was pregnant by 1, and we separated for a year and she lived with 1. I can honestly tell you that I wasn't perfect but in all our time together I've NEVER lied to her nor have I cheated. I left her 10 years ago and our divorce was finalized 6 months ago and have yet to be with a woman physically or emotionally in all that time as I'm scared to death to have to deal with the pain again. I told her recently that I don't blame her as she did what apparently everyone does which sounds stupid but it's true. So it isn't Just the men after all they have to cheat with someone

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

All guys look at other girls.  All of them think about other girls.  And because they have all gotten over that as an inevitability a long time ago, they talk about it with each other.  If you, any of you, can't accept that, find a new gender to date.  Now, maybe my perspective is a little skewed because I am a mostly gay man, but I look at other people of both genders and my boyfriend looks at girls.  And we are both sufficiently willing to admit t to it that sometimes we compare notes.  The relationship is better for it, as their is more trust.