Please STAY gone and STAY strong. Focus on you. I wouldn't date for a while.
Well I did it, I left. He asked me to have sex with an other guy so he could watch. That was the last straw. I've been gone for a week and steady holding my ground. He wants me to come home but when I say no he turns in to an *******. Thanks for the encouragement ladies.
I would most definitely say leave him!!! Its like seriously if he got caught lying about something as little as a text than wat else has he lied to you about and not been caught doing yet??? If he is already talking/texting other girls and staying up all hours of the night talking to them whether or not its "just a video game" it is still inappropriate. If he cared about you then he would give you the respect that you deserve.
Let me just say that you would be making the mistake of a lifetime by having a child and staying with this man. Oh yes, I believe that to my very core.
He plays video games from 12 until 4?? Really?? Sounds like an ambitious guy. Yes, I'm being sarcastic but why on Earth would any woman feel that this was a good candidate to date let alone have a kid with?
Life is about choices and we have to make good ones for ourselves. If you wrote nothing else but the video game bit, I'd have pegged him as a bit of a loser. Then to add to it that he is online chatting with chicks------------ you would have to be very foolish to keep this relationship going. And if you do, you'd have no room to complain about the things he does. By not moving on now, you are accepting it.
So then I must ask you why you have such low standards for yourself.
PS: If a relationship is this rocky in the first 6 months (the supposed easy time for most couples)---- it is not a good sign at all.
Take care of yourself. Better your life. Start reading, taking courses, move ahead from where you are at. Want more for yourself. good luck
Nikki, now is the time you HAVE to get honest dear. The situation just ISN'T good.
Him lying and sneeking behind your back with "this and that" is NO kind of life to live. Playing video games at night while you are sleeping......hmmmmm....forget him dear. He is just using the video game as an excuse to chat/talk with other women.
Leave and never look back.
I personally wouldn't put up with this.
If you're determined to make it work (I wouldn't...6 months is enough time to see the real him and decide that he's not your cup of tea, or any woman's cup of tea as long as he's so selfish, immature, and dishonest) you could always try counseling...he's most likely depressed because despite what some men would have you believe, it's not normal for a man over the age of about 23 to stay up all night every night on a video game - my husband outgrew that at about 23/24 and he was a DEVOTED gamer, too. Many who play this obsessively have a borderline addiction, or are suffering from depression and using the game for escapism.
So..I suppose you could try therapy. But I would cut my losses, 6 months isn't too huge of a chunk of your life to waste, but a year, or two, or three WOULD be....and I'd say run. Run while your dignity and your heart are still intact..you deserve so much better.
thanks ladies, the problem is i already see these signs. Im far from dumb... I am dumb in a sence because i dont know how to break away... a small part doesnt even want to to be honest, but i know what i have to do, i just need to get myself to that point...
Well, I don't think a "lie is a lie is a lie". I think some lies are much less serious, not even a big deal, it's how you get through life. "Hey did you pay the electric bill" "Yes, yesterday". And then as soon as he's out of the room, pay it quickly online. "Sorry about your grey sweatpants. I washed them with jeans and the zipper ripped a hole in them you know where, I threw them away" when in reality they are so ugly and unflattering I tossed them. That's life.
The worst thing he did wasn't lying. The worst thing he's doing is starting up a relationship with a woman he's in love with although it's not clear he's ever even met her yet. That's the worst thing.
He's a player. And you don't want to be sitting at home with a baby while he's out playing. : (
I do feel like i deserve better, just hoping wishing it would be him. So you dont think i over reacted? Plain and simple he lied, right? A lie is a lie is a lie...big or small?
Dear, dear, dear. Re-read your post.
Now, do you think you should be treated like this?
Can you imagine being pregnant and being treated and humiliated like that?
Don't you think you deserve better? Why settle for crumbs?
I see that you love him, but I was so hoping you would love yourself MORE.
Yeah, you read correctly...we were trying.. If its not too late, i do have a change of heart... I love him i do, and when its good its good... You really think i should leave him?
I just read that too.
You are throwing your life away with both hands.
Did I read correctly? Are you trying to get pregnant by this man?
I was reading your other posts.
Hope that you have changed your mind.
I'm just baffled that you're calling this the "beginning" of an untruthful relationship. He's been untruthful for most of your relationship, and it doesn't matter to me whether he's had sex with her yet or not. He would if he could, that's for sure.
Thirty four years old is WAY too old to be acting like a teenager playing video games all night and flirting with girls he doesn't know.
I'm not quite sure what amount of verification you need before you realize he's a player . . .
Best wishes.
Only six months invested, correct? Hmmmm........move on/DUMP HIM.
Too many red flags already.
Enough said