Best friend calls me fat!

[Libby2999]

So I have a best friend. I'm 5"5 and about 135 lbs and highly athletic. If you know me, you'll know I starved myself. So my friend is 5'6" and 115 lbs and she knows about my problem. Idk I she knows I still have a desire to starve myself. Well she's been ignoring me, even on my birthday no one remembered. It's more than just her, I now only have 3 friends. So for lunch she eats pudding an half a bag of chips. The lil single servings bags, ya. So when I'm sad/mad I don't eat and cuz I was being ignored on my birthday I was sad, also didn't have lunch money so I didn't eat lunch. I had an apple tho. Anyways so she's yelling at me to get food, like I need to gain weight. Then today I didn't want to sit by them today during lunch, so I hid in the bathroom. I was also dizzy cuz u haven't eaten all day. Anyways so 1 out of the 3 friends I got left told me ( she docent lie) that my "best friend" was saying "yesterday Libby whent he and cried to er mommy how everyone was ignoring her" and "omg! She's soooo fat!"

Yes I did cry, she found out cuz my mom is friends with her mom. But she knows I have a lil problem, but I'm not overweight or underweight. So during swimming I was dizzy from not eating then cuz people kept yelling at me at home I stuffed my face with cake. I feel like crap and tried to make myself throw up. That didn't work, but its homecoming and I have 3 friends I rarely see!

She's having a bonfire tonight and she didn't invite me, but her mom did. Should I go? One of my friends I can trust will be there but it'd be akward.

Why does she do that? she also only talks to skinny girls and when I was skinny she also hated me! I don't get it! She ignored me on my birthday and we've been bffs for 10 years!

[RockRose]

Ug.  I wouldn't go back to being a teenager for a million bucks.

I agree with the others - this girl is no friend.  And really, I think you should ask your mom to limit what she shares with her friend about you - that this mean girl is using your mother's words to ridicule you.

Great that you're a swimmer.  I bet there are a lot of positive people on the swim team.  The more you reflect a positive,  upbeat attitude,  the more you'll attract friends like that.

Best wishes.

[Ashelen]

I agree with the other two ladies and would add my own experience. I was 120-30lbs all through high school, but I was only 5'2....HOWEVER..I always had D breasts and a tiny waist..basically I was fully developed before most of my peers, and I always thought I was so FAT. I had an eating disorder as well because my body image was so horrific, and all of my skinny friends made me feel like such a cow by just looking at them....but the truth is, any person that ever said I was fat was completely wrong. I could show you pictures from high school...I was PERFECT. but I never saw that, then. I just hated the fact that I had a full figure....but when I got to college, guys were ALL OVER me...I heard so often "you have such an AMAZING body"...and I was shocked.

I realized that any cruel things that people said to me in high school were from JEALOUSY. that's right...jealousy. I was jealous of them and the whole time, they were jealous of ME. ironic, right?

Trust me...135 is NOT fat, especially at 5'5. And if you're athletic, muscle weighs more than fat. you probably have a more developed/fuller figure than your best friend so she's jealous knowing that she's a stick without anything to offer the boys visually. i promise you sweetie...99% of cruel comments are made out of jealousy.

that being said...ditch this girl like yesterday's trash. just because she has an excuse for her cruelty doesn't mean she gets a free pass. your best friend should be the person yelling at anyone insulting you, not the person making the insults. you need a better friend to make it through the tough teenage years with..so start shopping around.

good luck sweetie, and I promise that everything I told you was true and you won't believe me until you're older..but I was the same way you are and I never realized just how fantastic my body was and how many things were said to me out of jealousy. I do now, and I can look back and laugh at all the skinny girls that wanted my breasts and hips and tiny waist and legs....ha! ;)

[specialmom]

Oh honey, your post makes me feel upset for you.  Body image is such a hard thing on people especially girls of your age (school age).  I wish I could wipe that out and do over society so that people could feel happy with who they are.  I was a girl that exercised for 4 hours a day and ate a cracker for dinner.  I was extremely underweight and obsessed with keeping it that way.  It is miserable to live like that.  As I got older and felt like I did not have to be a toothpick to be okay . . . I began to let those feelings go.  I now focus on being healthy and happy and it is a much better way to live, I will tell you.  I'm truly so much happier even though I weigh significantly more than those days of starving myself and working out like a maniac.  So so much happier.

You sound perfectly fit and fine.  You have to eat.  If you feel yourself not wanting to and having obsessive thoughts about it---------  I want you to talk to your mom about it.  I want you to try to address it perhaps with a counselor who can help you.  I really mean that am serious about it!  Please do that.

I would also talk to your mom.  She needs to know that she betrayed your confidence a bit when talking to your friend's mom or at least that your friend's mom is not trustworthy with your personal information.  That she told her daughter (your friend) and the info was used to hurt you.  

This friend sounds like she has a mean streak.  I agree with sweetpea that I would try to expand out and find some new friends to add to your list of people in your life.  I wouldn't dramatically cut ties with this girl but just find some other people to hang out with and switch to spending more time with the new people.  Still be friendly to everyone but you can put a little distance between you and this "best friend" who isn't being so nice.  
I think a great way to make friends is to join in something.  Either a volunteer group, an organization at school, etc.  
I wish you a lot of luck and happiness.

[sweetpea03]

Libby, this "best friend" of yours is NO friend at all. Friends are nice and supportive of each other and the relationship you have with her is toxic. Stay away from her! She's not a friend, because friends don't act like that. You have had MANY problems with her and this is just another problem added to the list you already have. Are there girls in swim who you can hang out with? Try chatting with people you are in swim with and hang out with them. Ask them to come over for a movie night or something, so that you can gain new friends. Don't base how you feel about yourself off of how this girl treats you. She is scum and a horrible person. I know it's been 10 years as friends, but it is time to move on.