Boyfriend has cheated, but I am still with him! Advice?

[lulu22du]

My boyfriend cheated on me four months ago.  We broke up for those four months and are now back together.  He has apologized profusely and says it was the biggest mistake of his life, but he never tried to get me back after we broke up.  He actually began a relationship with the girl and broke it off a month ago and now I am back with him.  I feel depressed about it.  I missed him and he is my best friend, but he has betrayed me many times.  

Today he admitted to me that he kissed another girl last Friday.  We never said we were exclusive, but it was implied that we wouldn't do anything sexual with other people.  There is also some other weird rumors that he was trying to get with some other girl.

Anyways today we had a huge fight about it, I tried to leave, but he wouldn't let me.  He became frantic and was begging me not to go.  He literally trapped me in his room.  He ended up breaking his phone because he was so upset.  I ended up staying where from that point we argued for hours.  I told him that we should go to couples counseling which he agreed to.  Do you think it is even worth it at this point??  

[Jennifer1987]

No its so not worth it.. infact would be a big waste of good money!!! he cheated, getout... now.. I learned this the hard way! i am now finished with my ex who cheated on me! I like you thought I could make it work.. Made so many sacrifices but none worked. he continued to lie and more than likely cheat again... But somehow made me feel like I was the blame.. ha how stupid was I for falling for ir all!

Now im the happiest Iv been in the last year! Still sudffer from bit of anxiety but Im working on it... one thing i am dealing with is not being able to trust a fella at the mo! I cant let anyone get close.ALL my defences go up and i close off.. but i think in time Il get over it....

You'll be so proud of yourself for puttin you first! I am...... Its great to get back to some normality!

[Judy246]

Why do you continue to put yourself in this situation knowing that he is going to turn around and do it again? Infidelity has become like an infectious desease and women seen to be the one's getting the bad end of it. When a man cheat on someone the one he is supposedly to love is either he is not ready for an exclusive relationship and is weak of the flesh and can't resist temptations or care and love's the person, but is not "in" love with the person, which makes a huge difference. Once trust has been broken, it's very difficult to get it back and changes the dynamics of the relationship to mistrust, doubt and dysfunctional. True love is simple and shouldn't hurt!

He has proven to be unfaithful, untrustworthy, liar, dishonest, hurtful, selfish, inconsiderate, putting you at risk for STD's, because the chances that he has sleep with someone and either denies it or lie's about it to cover his butt is great and he will do it again.

Is this the type of person you want? Is this how you want a relationship to be? Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone you can't trust? His behavior has proven to be unexceptable and you should not tolerate anyone treating you this way. You are a good person and deserve better. Time to walk away and not look back and let it be an example to him on what never to do and who never to hurt. Good Luck, Judy

[iam1butterfly]

Past cheating, aside... if he's now kissing on other girls; breaking phones
and holding you against your will, he's has deeper issues than being faithful.
So, if you want to give couples counseling a shot... go for it.  
But, I would suggest that you take Dawn's advice... run! ... run, very fast!  

[jo929]

Leave while you are young and look for someone that will do right by you living with someone is not the answer, especially someone like him he is not worthy.  luck  jo

[mami1323]

I agree with the above.  My fiance cheated and I forgave him but it was only that one time and he had asked to go to counseling.  Which we did but it was only because we share a child together.  It was also based on the assumption that this will never ever happen again.  How long have you two been together?  Not that it matters much but sometimes a long term relationship is worth going through counseling.  Every relationship has it's issues and sometimes you can work things out.  However, in my opinion it sounds like he is a repeat offender and he knows the consequences of his actions but yet continues to do the things he does.  Perhaps he has an addictive personality.  I think that if there is nothing holding you two together than it is the best interest to move on without him.  Some things are just not worth the heartache.

[specialmom]

I third the others.  I think if he had slipped up once and cheated and you decided to work on it from there, that would be one thing.  But when he has come back to you proclaiming it was a mistake-----  during that make up period, he is already kissing and rumor is chasing girls.  Not worth it.  Some people have a hard time getting over this habit of looking elsewhere for gratification.  Don't put your heart at risk for that.  There ARE many guys out there but take some time to be you alone before that . . .  good luck.

[VicUser]

I agree with Dawn, sounds like a pattern and it sounds like he could get violent. There are many other good guys out there.

[dawnangela]

Me no i would make a run for it..He has lost your trust more than once, and seems like he will just do it again, the temper would be a problem for me to start with,if i was you i would get out now..