Boyfriend/porno

[jorjette]

I check my laptop one day and i realize that my boyfriend has bin watching porno movies online?and i don't understand  is that normal or i something i should worry about that?!I understand that men are man but i get mad sometimes and i just want out relationship to work?what should i do?pls helppppp

[oliviadotorg]

None of us like it when our boyfriends watch porn. We feel like we are doing something wrong. But in all actuality they could be watching it for many reasons. Maybe even to learn something new for you. You never know. I decided to look at what my boyfriend had been looking at and it was pretty much the girl dominating him. So i decided i would try it on him and he loved it and hasnt looked at porn since. Well not that i have seen anyway. Its a guy thing. Its just girls that they can never have or touch or anything so you shouldnt worry.

[PromisedLand]

yes, Judy is correct....before I remarried 10 years ago I was single for 10 years and was addicted to porn...I stopped when I was married again until a few months ago and then stopped again on my own well short of where I was before..I agree it is evil....you'll have people come along and say "well it gives me new ideas about this or that for our sex life"
but it becomes and overconsuming addiction much like drugs...I recently passed 2 years clean of prescription pain meds..perhaps the 2 were connected.  

It is horrible as I look back now to 10+ years ago looking at women not as the beautiful creation of God to be loved and cherished...but as "I bet she'd make a great porn star..

I guess I can thank my wife for asking me when she did..rather than be angry...I just don't want to be hounded randomly because I don't do it anymore and have sworn I will not.


to make it even more disgusting...my ex stepson whom I've essentially disowned makes his "living" filiming this filth.

Jim

I'd tell him to knock it off NOW or out the door...1 strike and you're out...in your case check up on him once in a while...my wife has no need to..I promised and I'm keeping it..

[Judy246]

There is an evil about porn that draws in a person like an addictive drug. He might just start viewing it ocassionally, but within time, he will find himself, so glued the the computer that his life will be around the computer and porn. People have acutally had withdraw symptoms of anxiety, trembles, ect. as a result to what started as a simple viewing of porn.  I have to agree with megochick, and have a discussion with him of your concern about the time he spends on the computer, how it makes you feel uncomfortale and uneased and if it doesn't work, I would purchase a software to block all porn, if all fails, I would re-evaluate the relationship. Judy

[PromisedLand]

let me point out that I have not lied to her about anything on this subject.



Jim

[PromisedLand]

This is a point of serious argument between my wife and myself..for a year or so I was OCCASIONALLY look at porn on the net..not watching movies,  not masturbating while watching just looking at pictures.  I haven't read a playboy or any of those in over 30 years, haven't been to a "gentlemen's" club in an equal amount of time (I find them boring) and haven't rented a porn movie, whether from  a store or from Cable in the 10 years we've been married.

But she asked me one night if I had ever watched porn on a computer..Knowing how she hates lying..I told the truth and said "yes"...months ago..I am now public enemy number 1 and despite my apologies, etc. we'll go for weeks and everything is fine, but if I'm on the computer, the suspicion is there and we have a big battle over how could I do it in the first place (who knows?) and she doesn't know if she could ever trust me again....we went through another one of those last night...and frankly I'm sick of it..I won't look again, promised her that, but that's not good enough....

She's getting my behavior and "lies" (huh?) mixed up with her ex's lies about abusing her daughters whom I love more than anything and DON'T EVEN GO IN THEIR BEDROOMS OR TOUCH THEM UNLESS THEY APPROACH ME FOR A HUG WHICH THANK GOD IS EVERY DAY...

and I'm getting closer and closer to walking out the door....

Jim

[megochick101]

If it's an excessive amount of porn, he may have an addiction. But the only thing that matters is that if this really bothers you, you need to talk to him about it and explain your concerns to him. If it's an addiction to porn, it may take awhile and a lot of hard work on his end and he would have to be willing to stop. If it's just the occasional porn and he loves you, he should be able to understand why you do not want him watching it.

but i would definitely have a talk with him and set up some ground rules for this.