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Can't orgasm during intercourse and lose erection
I am 53 yr old male. I am 12 yrs sober and since becoming sober can't keep erection during intercourse.
I drink most of my life so intercourse was usually performed while intoxicated. I have always had very bad self esteem and a strong fear of failure to perform. While masturbating and being orally pleased I usually have no problem.
I am fine as long as she is orally pleasing me but when it comes to having the condom put on I start fearing I won't be able to perform. Of course this worrying will cause me problems. I had a doctor give me Lavitra but that doesn't help much. I had not been with a lady in a while now since I basically gave up and don't want to fail again.
I realize this problem is so strong in me now that I probably need a physiologist to help me now but wanted to know what you think.
I am afraid I will find the next love of my life but will be too afraid to go forward with her since I am so frustrated.
To be fair with the lavitra I have only tried it twice. I have used it while masturbating so I know how my body reacts to it. I wish I had more money because I would get a sex surrogate to help me work out my mental issues. I think the fact that she would be someone I feel nothing for I could enjoy it more without fear of disappointing her.
This discussion is related to Can't ejaculate during intercourse, only masturbation....
I drink most of my life so intercourse was usually performed while intoxicated. I have always had very bad self esteem and a strong fear of failure to perform. While masturbating and being orally pleased I usually have no problem.
I am fine as long as she is orally pleasing me but when it comes to having the condom put on I start fearing I won't be able to perform. Of course this worrying will cause me problems. I had a doctor give me Lavitra but that doesn't help much. I had not been with a lady in a while now since I basically gave up and don't want to fail again.
I realize this problem is so strong in me now that I probably need a physiologist to help me now but wanted to know what you think.
I am afraid I will find the next love of my life but will be too afraid to go forward with her since I am so frustrated.
To be fair with the lavitra I have only tried it twice. I have used it while masturbating so I know how my body reacts to it. I wish I had more money because I would get a sex surrogate to help me work out my mental issues. I think the fact that she would be someone I feel nothing for I could enjoy it more without fear of disappointing her.
This discussion is related to Can't ejaculate during intercourse, only masturbation....
COMMUNITY LEADER
The above is a wonderful advice. I am sure if you concentrate on the above plan you will be able to solve your problem.This is a very practical suggestion.
You don't need a sex surrogate, you need a plan. It is common for performance anxiety to interfere with you getting and maintaining an erection. This is because you are so focused on worrying about your problem, you are not focused on the sexually arousing thoughts and actions which would give you the erection.
What do you do when you are masturbating? You switch between enjoying the feelings in your penis and the mechanics of moving your hand up and down your shaft, right? Intercourse works exactly the same way. Allow yourself to enjoy the feelings in your penis to increase erection hardness, then when your penis is throbbing regularly, focus on your partner to stay in control of when you ejaculate.
What do you do when you are masturbating? You switch between enjoying the feelings in your penis and the mechanics of moving your hand up and down your shaft, right? Intercourse works exactly the same way. Allow yourself to enjoy the feelings in your penis to increase erection hardness, then when your penis is throbbing regularly, focus on your partner to stay in control of when you ejaculate.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are right. the subject is complicated. That is why many advises are not effective. It requires a long term treatment. some may work for some one and the same technique may not work for the same persons.However research should be continued with patience. Kundalini yoga is a long time yoga technique. If you can find a good master, you may get some benefits.Dr. Eric, steve Yudelove has written a good book on Taoist Yoga.It is worth reading. Dedicated efforts are required.Title of the book is 100 day's practice on sexual kung fu. One will have to search for correct title.
Wishing good luck to Online Poster is quite necessary .
Wishing good luck to Online Poster is quite necessary .
Interesting...I am 55, having the same issue...exactly as you describe.
I am on T supplements, get T level tested and it is high normal level, so that is not it. They have also checked to make sure it is not too high because if it is, you get esterification of T into Estrogen which can be a cause. No problem there.
Cialis does nothing to achieve orgasm, it simply enhances the rigidity of the penis.
Still looking for possible answers here. I am always surprised at the crappy advice people give on these forums - sometimes they are the opposite of what should/could be done.
Good luck to the Original Poster
I am on T supplements, get T level tested and it is high normal level, so that is not it. They have also checked to make sure it is not too high because if it is, you get esterification of T into Estrogen which can be a cause. No problem there.
Cialis does nothing to achieve orgasm, it simply enhances the rigidity of the penis.
Still looking for possible answers here. I am always surprised at the crappy advice people give on these forums - sometimes they are the opposite of what should/could be done.
Good luck to the Original Poster
Thank you for that information. I have tried the things other people mention like the pills and testosterone levels were checked. This is more physiological than physical and the pills get me hard but the brain shuts it down during intercourse.
I will look into your suggestions.
I will look into your suggestions.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Google the following techniques as an adjunct therapy , doing it regularly.
Abdominal breathing
Male deer exercise.
Prostate massage external and internal.
Satkriya
Udian bsndh.(Belly button lock)
Apply Lidocaine ointment. Use small quantity on glans only. Details are given in the related websites. Best of LUck.
Abdominal breathing
Male deer exercise.
Prostate massage external and internal.
Satkriya
Udian bsndh.(Belly button lock)
Apply Lidocaine ointment. Use small quantity on glans only. Details are given in the related websites. Best of LUck.
I would go to a dr who can check you by blood draw for low t, if you are low bidenticals will help a lot
You need to try the daily Cialis 5mg to help your erection issue .. You take that pill everyday at the same time and should be able to keep you erection.
I suggest you take it in the evening which will give your erection at the right time with your desire.. At your age -- you should have your testosterone levels checked.
The Cialis has to be taken every day for it to work.. My thoughts.. ojsam
I suggest you take it in the evening which will give your erection at the right time with your desire.. At your age -- you should have your testosterone levels checked.
The Cialis has to be taken every day for it to work.. My thoughts.. ojsam
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