Codependency Issues

[pinkpoodle]

I am waiting to be assinged to a therapist. I am struggling with codependency issues. I get into relationships and even after I figure out that I do not like the way I am being treated I stay. I hate breakups and while I am going through one I fall apart emotionally. The sane part of my brain tells me to not accept ill treatment but the damaged part of me holds on thinking that maybe he will change and we can have a great relationship. Does anyone else in here struggle with codependency issues ?  Thanks

[Bahena]

Grade A codependent! I found out about two years. I was in therapy for over a year it helped for a while.. I no longer attend. listen to your inner voice. You have to be strong and conquer it and not let it conquer you. Confront the issues of your past, your childhood. My father was abusive and an alcoholic. I have been depressed my attire life. We have to stop treated ourselves like the victim at a certain point it becomes destructive and then old you just become tired of the abusive life style. Never let your history repeat it's self. If you are living with someone who has contribute to the issue you have to get away and live in a mentally healthy environment. It helps! Books on codependency are useful and will help you identify. The author Alice Miller has many on this subject you may want to check out. Good luck :) peace & Love

[specialmom]

Oh, coming in on the tail end of things.  But I think therapy is an excellent idea and am glad you are signed up for this important process to changing your life.  

Sometimes when wea re codependent on another just to stay in a relationship . . . ANY relationship, it does stem from some deep rooted self esteem issues.  These can develop when we are very young (parents, what you do with your preschoolers can set them up for their life time in terms of sence of self, no joke) and then our life experiences add to it.  

I think our very wise Ashelen gave great advice and a helpful website.  I also think too that exploring who you are without anyone else in the picture will help you.  While you wait for therapy, I encourage you to be in no romantic relationship and during that time, throw yourself into some things that will help your self concept improve.  This means if you are in school, throw yourself into it.  If you are working and like it, throw yourself into it and if you don't like it, start taking some classes.  Whatever you like to do for hobbies, now is the time to become an expert with them.  I recommend working out for body and spirit (and mood.  If you have any anxiety, depression issues----------- make sure to speak to your physician about this.).  I think volunteering is one of the best ways to elevate our mood and self concept.  You can volunteer for a million things these days--------- food banks, shelters, building projects, heck, you can spruce up your downtown area, work city festivals, etc.  Keep a journal of your feelings and thoughts.  Read back through it occasionally, it can be enlightening to read our own thoughts back.

Good luck.  There IS a better way to live and I'm so glad you are taking appropriate steps to get there!  Peace.

[x89rt]

I'm codependent too. My first (and only) break up sucked. I took it extremely hard. Since then, I've had relationship problems.

[Ashelen]

'scuse me "my mom is an alcoholic".^^^^^..I'm not the daughter of a beer, LOL.