Day dreaming

[AShygirl]

My partner has a friend, who I haven't met yet personally (I have only seen his pictures on fb and Twitter), but already fantasizing of having sex with! Am I being too pervert or what?

[Nighthawk61]

Honestly, i think that having lustful thoughts about anyone is a form of cheating. In other words, i think that it's healthy if we have lustful thoughts to stop the thoughts. No different than stopping any other inappropriate thoughts. I tell my self "what, really? stop thinking so crudely" and that's pretty much the end of it for me. Have you ever had thoughts that you knew were not something that you wanted to think about , and stopped doing it. Can you find an example of that happening with you? If so, you can use the same format and get rid of these lustful thoughts for your partners friend. Also, maybe you can add to it. I wouldn't like it if my husband chose to entertain lustful thoughts of my friends .... to help you. It's a shame that you can't meet your partners friends. I think it's an important part of a relationship to be able to socialize with our spouses friends, and more important that we do , than to entertain notions that are virtually useless and damaging. Maybe it would help to talk to a therapist about how to turn off unwanted thoughts in your head, or perhaps read up on it on the internet.

[AShygirl]

He is single. It's not his appearance that turned me on. It's his intelligence actually. Physically, he's not really handsome though. Lol.

[Rizzerrazor]

It happens to all of us

[Nighthawk61]

i think it depends on whether this fella is single.. something wrong about lusting after another woman's husband come to mind, but if you know this chap is single and you're single - it sounds like fantasizing about something that you might want to make happen. That's different imo. Always beware of putting too much stock in the physical appearance of a person - but maybe you should ask him out?

[Nighthawk61]

ha, so i missed you have a partner. hmm Yeah, this particular fantasy about your partner's friend can't be healthy.

[specialmom]

Hm, this sounds a tiny bit like a recipe for disaster.  Hopefully you are fully aware that fantasies are just fine but ideas of actually acting them out are not.  To me, you don't sound like a pervert but more lonely and bored.  Are you having relationship issues?  

[AShygirl]

No relationship issue at all, that is why I was wondering where these fantasies are coming from. I love my partner and this makes me sure feel guilty AF! I make sure to never really meet his friend. Am afraid that this thing would escalate when I see the friend. Or, should I? Just to see if what I am feeling (and feeding my lustful brain) right now is just curiosity?

[AShygirl]

I don't have plans of acting theses fantasies out. I am avoiding every opportunity to meet the friend. Maybe you are right, I am just being bored. Everything is in place and that I am just looking for something exciting and challenging. Yikes!