question

[phinalove]

So I'm 30 weeks pregnant and my mom is throughing me a baby anyway my Bfs sister said she would by the stuff to make the games being that they needed to be drawn out and so I texted her and she called me and went off and then went off on my mom anyway my bf didn't say anything to her about it knowing how much it made me upset should he have or not?

[brice1967]

Please don't take offense of what I am about to say.  I mean no disrespect.

I find it funny that this person says that she "wants nothing to do with your family but she want's to be around your baby".  How does she suppose she can do that?  Not very logical....

Personally, I think this girl is a bit upset that some of the "spotlight" is being shined on you, and the attention that YOU are getting.  I'd guess that there is a little bit of jealousy going on here.

Is it safe to assume that this other girl is a bit young, as well?  As Londres said, maturity may also be part of the mix.  Immaturity and jealousy are a pretty toxic combination and frankly, in your condition, you don't need to play her little games.

As Londres said, concentrate on you and your pregnancy.  That baby is coming whether this girl is on board with things or not.  That baby will be more important than this toxic person.... since you cannot control her, give her plenty of room to walk away from your life.  She cannot make statements like "not wanting to have anything to do with your family, but wanting to be around the baby".  You can't have your cake and eat it too.  

You are in charge of this child.  You can determine who, what, when, where and why and this Miss Drama does not need to be on board.  

Your baby's father should get on board with you as well.  Communication is essential.

[Londres70]

Is she name-calling to you directly?  

Dear, just try to focus on you and the baby and forget about all the rest of this nonsense.  Make the baby your focus.  

I would recommend you distance yourself from her and see what happens.  Don't get caught up in her drama.  Sounds like a simple misunderstanding that has gotten blown out of proportion.  You can't control other people and I would recommend not even worrying about who is doing or saying what about you.  Unfortunately people can be this way and it is best that you not put ANY attention or focus on them.  Ignore them.  

Hopefully she will come to her senses, step up and be more mature than this.  

[phinalove]

I agree with what you said and i wish she would have let the situation cool off but instead  she called the whole family and also called me a b**ch for no reason but I will see what happens

[Londres70]

Totally agree with SM.  

Sometimes in life you just have to pick and choose your battles....meaning some situations aren't worth fighting or arguing over; stirring up conflict.  

Sounds like a simple/trivial misunderstanding and I don't really think your bf has or had any need to get involved.  I would recommend simply allowing things to cool off between you and his sister.    

You've got plenty to focus on besides this.  

[phinalove]

Thanks for the advise I have been to busy trying to finish planing and other things for the baby shower

[specialmom]

Okay, well this is something for you to think about.  If you are going to be in a long term relationship, raise a child, etc. with this man, you must be able to communicate with him.  He should listen to you and you to him and "i don't want to talk about it" is not something that should happen but once in a blue moon.  Otherwise, your frustration and anger will grow and grow and grow.  Communication is really a key ingredient to a happy, long lasting relationship.

He also needs to be loyal but fair.  He should support you if his family is being rude.  He should be fair though and tell you if he thought you were rude.  Make sense?

As far as this event, I'd just pretend it didn't happen THIS TIME. and move on.  He doesn't want to deal with it and you have a shower coming up.  blow it off.  Maybe she was having a bad day (ugh).  If it happens again, your partner will just HAVE to deal with it.

good luck

[phinalove]

He doesn't like talking about it she's made cause I said I would get the stuff my self

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, why would she text you that she didn't want anything to do w/ your family??   Is she mad about something?  Is this new behavior? Or is she just a lady with a problem??  

And when you talk to your partner about this, what does he say?

[phinalove]

The things I was asking her for wete probably $3 at the most but she text me saying she wants nothing to do with my family but yet she wants to be around my baby

[specialmom]

Well, when you called her ----  were you expecting too much out of her?  It does sound like she handled things badly either way-----  and I think it is reasonable for our partners to help set a boundary with family.  He could tell her that she is not to talk to you or your mom rudely ever again.  Period.  

I'd move on as best you can so you don't have a family rift before the baby.  good luck