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Does this girl have issues with paranoia?
Hi there everyone, I'm posting this on behalf of a friend as he doesn't have a computer. Basically he has been with his girlfriend now for just over three years. They both had issues at the start with controlling behaviours and paranoia due to their past relationships which has thankfully died down a bit now.
However his girlfriend appears to have a lot of paranoia lately. He told me that they had an argument last night when he had a friend over and apparently forgot to text her back twice, out of all the times he does text back, and she immediately jumped to conclusions and sent a message saying he was "using her" for when he is lonely and "forgets about her" when his friend is there. This is certainly not true as he still answered the phone every time his girlfriend text and still rang her to sort out the problem of her paranoia.
She then moved onto calling him a "user" and actually turned to the internet to cancel a gift order from Amazon which was meant for Christmas - all because he forgot to text her back twice, which I'm sure many will agree that it's hard when you have friends there as well as a girlfriend to talk to - It's not always possible to speak to everyone at the same time?
I wanted to ask people for advice for him because he is quite hurt by the whole thing. Can anyone tell us what you'd recommend to solve these things with this girl?
Thanks!
However his girlfriend appears to have a lot of paranoia lately. He told me that they had an argument last night when he had a friend over and apparently forgot to text her back twice, out of all the times he does text back, and she immediately jumped to conclusions and sent a message saying he was "using her" for when he is lonely and "forgets about her" when his friend is there. This is certainly not true as he still answered the phone every time his girlfriend text and still rang her to sort out the problem of her paranoia.
She then moved onto calling him a "user" and actually turned to the internet to cancel a gift order from Amazon which was meant for Christmas - all because he forgot to text her back twice, which I'm sure many will agree that it's hard when you have friends there as well as a girlfriend to talk to - It's not always possible to speak to everyone at the same time?
I wanted to ask people for advice for him because he is quite hurt by the whole thing. Can anyone tell us what you'd recommend to solve these things with this girl?
Thanks!
Doesn't matter exactly what it is............it's apparent the situation is unhealthy.
Only a qualified professional can diagnose this person.
Plus, keep in mind this is third party information anyways; probably isn't the 100% full/complete story.
Only a qualified professional can diagnose this person.
Plus, keep in mind this is third party information anyways; probably isn't the 100% full/complete story.
I certainly can't make a medical diagnosis over the internet, who knows what's going on, but when I hear that story I think hm . . . . don't check out paranoia, check out bipolar disorder.
Just like I'd say to someone who was complaining of intense thirst . . .hmm . . check out diabetes.
Just like I'd say to someone who was complaining of intense thirst . . .hmm . . check out diabetes.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Honestly, it doesn't sound like a medical condition to me to wonder if a boyfriend is dedicated to her that doesn't text. Lots of women have a problem with someone that blows them off especially if she was insecure about him getting together with the male friend (and my husband had friends when we were dating whose favorite thing was bar hopping and meeting women, NOT my favorite thing for my then boyfriend to be their wing man).
I would guess there are things we don't know about and she has a different story than what we are reading here.
so, I wouldn't go down the lines of giving them a new word to throw around about her like bipolar.
I would guess there are things we don't know about and she has a different story than what we are reading here.
so, I wouldn't go down the lines of giving them a new word to throw around about her like bipolar.
Hmm. Well, paranoia is an actually medical diagnosis that involves fear of being watched. Classic paranoia symptoms are the belief that the government has placed cameras in your trees and is watching you, and the car radio is recording your telephone calls for the CIA.
I would suspect she's brushed with bipolar disorder. Is this the first time she's acted like this, or could he actually plot this behavior on a calendar?
I would suspect she's brushed with bipolar disorder. Is this the first time she's acted like this, or could he actually plot this behavior on a calendar?
COMMUNITY LEADER
important to *him (accidentally wrote her).
I also agree that friends need to stay on the outskirts of these problems, do a lot of listening and very little suggesting unless asked directly to do so.
I also agree that friends need to stay on the outskirts of these problems, do a lot of listening and very little suggesting unless asked directly to do so.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, if she has a clear boundary and he didn't text her and this is how she is feeling, then that isn't paranoia. These are her feelings.
It's hard to write something for a 'friend' because friends don't always tell us everything.
I would imagine that your friend makes her feel like she is not his main priority from time to time and that night she was fed up.
She doesn't sound paranoid but rather doubtful about this relationship and him. That's not paranoia. She didn't say he was cheating and imagining scenarios but rather is saying she is not important to her and he uses her (for sex?),
The wrong thing to do is to label her paranoid, try to act like she has some psychosis. The ONLY way this will work out is if your friend thinks about WHY she would feel this way beyond just his not texting. To work on the foundation of the relationship and make it stronger.
good luck
It's hard to write something for a 'friend' because friends don't always tell us everything.
I would imagine that your friend makes her feel like she is not his main priority from time to time and that night she was fed up.
She doesn't sound paranoid but rather doubtful about this relationship and him. That's not paranoia. She didn't say he was cheating and imagining scenarios but rather is saying she is not important to her and he uses her (for sex?),
The wrong thing to do is to label her paranoid, try to act like she has some psychosis. The ONLY way this will work out is if your friend thinks about WHY she would feel this way beyond just his not texting. To work on the foundation of the relationship and make it stronger.
good luck
How old is your friend and his gf?
Does he know you are posting on his behalf? I am kind of leary of third party posters only because you probably don't have all the facts in regards to his relationship............only the two in the relationship would.
"Can anyone tell us what you'd recommend to solve these things with this girl?".........................Therapy. There is NOTHING he or anyone who isn't a therapist can do for her.
"They both had issues at the start with controlling behaviours and paranoia due to their past relationships which has thankfully died down a bit now."......................If this is so, then they should of NEVER been together period and they shouldn't be together now as the relationship sounds unhealthy and toxic.
Both need to sort themselves out BEFORE seeking any relationship if they have these kinds of unresolved issues.
BTW: I would recommend you play more of a support role than a role of trying to fix this and give advice unless he is asking you for advice.
Does he know you are posting on his behalf? I am kind of leary of third party posters only because you probably don't have all the facts in regards to his relationship............only the two in the relationship would.
"Can anyone tell us what you'd recommend to solve these things with this girl?".........................Therapy. There is NOTHING he or anyone who isn't a therapist can do for her.
"They both had issues at the start with controlling behaviours and paranoia due to their past relationships which has thankfully died down a bit now."......................If this is so, then they should of NEVER been together period and they shouldn't be together now as the relationship sounds unhealthy and toxic.
Both need to sort themselves out BEFORE seeking any relationship if they have these kinds of unresolved issues.
BTW: I would recommend you play more of a support role than a role of trying to fix this and give advice unless he is asking you for advice.
Hi!
It sounds very strange :/ from a girl's point-of-view I don't actually see why forgetting a text would be such a "bad" thing to do but that's just me! I have my cell with me all the time but sometimes when my boyfriend calls - I can't answer! We never fight or have issues and really would never call him a user! I think this girl has some major paranoia if she thinks her boyfriend is forgetting about her just because of that but that's just me!
About the xmas thing - I actually thought that was like something you'd do if you were twelve? I don't get why someone would do that just because of a missing text message, not only that but to call him a user? I dont get it sorry :/ Maybe get her some sort of therapy? Does she have any mental health issues or a bad upbringing or something?
It sounds very strange :/ from a girl's point-of-view I don't actually see why forgetting a text would be such a "bad" thing to do but that's just me! I have my cell with me all the time but sometimes when my boyfriend calls - I can't answer! We never fight or have issues and really would never call him a user! I think this girl has some major paranoia if she thinks her boyfriend is forgetting about her just because of that but that's just me!
About the xmas thing - I actually thought that was like something you'd do if you were twelve? I don't get why someone would do that just because of a missing text message, not only that but to call him a user? I dont get it sorry :/ Maybe get her some sort of therapy? Does she have any mental health issues or a bad upbringing or something?
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