Dont know how to tell him

[hansy]

Iv been with my bf now for 3 going on 4 months, love being with him, and we just always want to be together.
hes 26 and im 18. hes the kinda guy who scares easily, and i dont want to lose him. i feel so close to him and im falling in love with him, but dont know whether to tell him as im scared he will think im getting to serious and leave me.

any ideas on how to go about this issue.
any advice would be great.

[hansy]

well im not too sure, but i dont think mum wud be harsh enuf 2 tel me 2 get rid of em. but i would prob sell 2 which is wat i want to do anyway, its too much for me to do all for as i compete with them etc.

but soon will be going racing up country so dont know. x

[momagain59]

Wow, 4 horses! What would happen to your horses if you left?

[hansy]

thankyou very much for your post!! um im planning to move in with a mate!! i have too jobs now, i work all day and then when i get home i work 4 nights in a pub!! i ern ova £1000 a month, and both of us together wud work.
Commitments i would be leaving behind is my horses, i have 4!! so im realy unsure what to do.

[momagain59]

What kind of commitments would you be leaving behind if you move out? Do you have the funds to be on your own? Do you have all the household items that you will need? I don't see anything wrong with getting your own place as long as you can afford to be on your own. As long as you live at home, out of respect, you will have to answer to your Mom. Have you added up the bills to see if you can make it? My oldest son and his wife have expensive tastes and wants that they feel they have to have. (A nice vehicle, nice clothing, computers, going out to eat, having pets, going places with their friends, ect...) They were on there own with both of them working for a very short time before he decided to join the Airforce. It is hard to make it finacially without going without things we want.

The bills they had were:

Rent (Shop around, they had to have the best at first)
Pet deposit (Usually depends on the size and number of pets)
Rental insurance (Thank God, they had this, their line broke on the line to their refrigerator and flooded their place, ruined some of their furniture)
Utilities (Always high because all their friends came over to use their shower, spend the night, wash their clothes, BBQ, and party of course)(You can call the utility company and find out how much utilities run on rental property before you decide to rent)
Car payment (High because of it being a newer vehicle)
Car insurance (High, because they were young and he had a couple of speeding tickets)
Car repairs (tires, oil change, etc...)
Internet services (no use having a computer without internet services)
Phone bill (Had to have for the internet services they wanted)
Cell phone X 2
Cable (wanted alot of channels so it was expensive)
Credit cards (I do not think they should screw young people into debt like they do)(They do not care if your credit will be screwed up for ever)
Pet bills (They are more expensive than most people realize) (shots, haircuts, shampoo, flea meds or collars, illness, etc..)
Groceries (Their friends were always hungry when they came over)(Lots of snacks are needed when you are young and busy)
Going out to eat (Who wants to cook for one or two)
Clothing (When you have nice clothing growing up and all your friends have nice clothes, it is hard to go without new clothing once in a while)
Recreation (Who wants to stay home)

Just a few things to consider. You know what bills you will have and how much you make. I know you do not want to depend on your Mom anymore than you have to because then you would still have to answer to her.

[hansy]

thankyou guys, can i just make it clear that if i move out it isnt so i can move in with my bf!! its just to get away fro my mum, so i have my own space.

[green eyed lady]

I agree with Treazzure...tell him and if it scares him off well, it's better now than later. Also, you are thinking about making a lot of life changing decisions right now and wouldn't it be a good idea to have the man your in love with feel the same way about you? I would want to know BEFORE I made any decisions.

[hansy]

yer i like that one, ! give it ago.

has nothing to do with stepping out of line!, i do as i please, just dont want to lose him.

thanks

[jesslee83]

one way to hint at this, is something we used to say to our HS boyfriends, and i sometimes even say to my fiance after we've had a bad fight, and i don't want to say "i love you" again just yet(well, not as a make up tool!)

**I LIKE You.....**

not like sit down and say it, but like, after talking or hanging out on the phone, or he drops you off, just toss off "i like you, ttyl" kind of thing.....just don't say it so low he'll think you said love and freak out.....

[treazzure007]

I think you should tell him how you feel.  Why would anyone be scared off from someone telling them that they are admired and loved?  That's ridiculous and if he did scare off it's only b/c he harbors no feelings like that for you.  He'd probably be doing you favor.  How long do you think you should wait for him to decide it's an appropriate time for you two to address your feelings for one another???  Or better yet, that he has any type of feelings like this for you at all???
Sorry, but I need my man to feed me the sweet lines every now and then.  The "I love being around you" " I feel so close to you"  "I want you and need you" " youre perfect"  I wouldnt be around if he didnt.  What do ya'll do?  Just look at each other?  

[mami1323]

Yeah, if he's the type that get frightened by those huge "I LOVE YOU" words, which most men are....I would wait.  Good luck.

[hansy]

ok thankyou very much.

i was with tyhis guy like a yr ago, and we split up. but now were back together its like hes a different guy !! so i guess i wait for him to tell me 1st ??

thanks
han

[Downey]

this may be the best advice you will ever get. If you don't know what to do don't do anything. This applies to life in general.

Jules

[Kim1989]

if hes the kinda guy who scarres easily i would say hold off on the "i love you" thing. not many guys want to hear "i love you" from a girl first especially when its only been a few months.

why not find out how he feels without comming across that your inlove with him