broken heart

[brokenheart85]

my heart is in shambles. Honestly i don't understand how i can trust anyone again. I dated my first boyfriend for 5 months, and i lost my virginity to him. He began telling me that he loved me 2 weeks into us dating each other, but the thing is we knew each other for a year or so before we started dating. Honestly, before i began dating this guy, i had a hard time confiding in people as it was, but him breaking up with me even worsened my trust with people. We began having problems when he said that he couldn't stand me always acting like i was sick because he had been through issues in his life where he dealt with a sick sister. I had urinary tract infections b/c he was my first sex partner. I would always feel fatigued, but i didn't understand that it was a uti. Things escalated when i didnt or forgot to wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. Im not saying i was right in doing so, but i tried to make it up to him by taking him out to dinner, but then he broke up with me. He started saying that he didnt think i cared about him, and i didnt do much for him except in times when he would get mad at me i would bring him food at his job. Basically he broke up with me b/c he felt i didn't care enough about him as he did me. After we had taken our school exams i tried to talk to him but he refused, when he broke up with me he did it online, and we never had the chance to meet up and talk about it b/c he kept saying he wasnt ready. School ended and he went to an internship out of town, so its been a while since i have seen him, and he is not slightly wanting to work things out with me. This whole reason why we broke up makes no sense to me, but i've been trying to find a way to forget it but it is so hard. I dont understand how u can love some one so much after they've loved u first, and then put so much trust into some one, and they just trash u in the end. They just leave u and forget they have become a part of u. Its as if he forgets that i have feelings. I cant trust anyone after this.

What should i do? Is this a foul thing that has happened to me, or am i just over exaggerating?

[mishalexis]

i kinda feel for you.

[jo929]

This has happened to many people, and it always will. try to let yourself heal, and try to put this behind you, try and work on yoor self estemm,, also next time you start to date take it slow, and let him court you, so to speak, and then after a time you will know when it is the right one or not, dont jump into sex fast, slow it down, and just have a good time before things get serious  lots luck  jo

[treazzure007]

dont think about this so hard.  he sounds like a jerk looking for a reason to break up w/ you anyway.  lots of guys do this.  dont ever pay this much attention to a guy again.  they are not worth it.  despite how he as succeded in making you feel right now, you must decide that YOU are the prize.  dont ever ever ever let a man bring you down and your best defense is to not put yourself in the position for them to get this far into your head or heart w/out first establishing long term w/ you real infatuation, commitment, and eternal love from their side

[slow_healer]

Honestly, it sounds like he was looking for excuses to end the relationship - whether those excuses were valid or not. So try not to take his criticisms (and rejection) fully to heart. A lot of young guys aren't ready for a real and mature relationship, which is unfortunate because most girls are ready by the time they're 20. It takes guys a few more years to mature... which can result in a lot of heartbreak on the way.

You may feel that you can't trust anyone again, but without trust you can't form intimacy. Learn to trust in little shares at a time, and in many people. Try to avoid putting all your hopes in trusting one person with 100%. Eventually you will meet someone that you'll want to trust 100% and marry, but until then, keep faith in yourself and maintain friendships with other people so that you're not alone. There are wonderful trustworthy people out there, and they're not represented by one guy who was too cowardly to talk to you about breaking up in person.

All breakups happen for a reason. Take remar's advice - give yourself time to heal. Then look back and critically think about the reasons why this relationship ended the way it did. Learn from old mistakes so that you know what to avoid in the future. Trust and love will come again, but it will take time to pick yourself up and move forward. Good luck!

[remar]

give yourself time to heal first of all. and don't give up on love , your still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. things happen for a reason sometimes, maybe he was'nt the one you were meant to be with. your feelings are very real and understandable. believe or not, you will get over this and decide to move on. take care. remar