Aa
Every Avenue blocked
I am a british man of indian origin.
Agreed with my wife ,( India but now has a british passport as married to me) to sell up in the UK and move to india (Delhi) , there we would be far enough from her family to be independent and start new small business in india.
I transfered all our savings into her account as we had been married for 15 years and she had an Indian bank account.
After months of asking , she never gave me a heads up on our savings/finances and what should have been 2 months living in a two bedroom flat above her family is not 2 years.
Her family is against me , eventhough I looked after her mom,dad and sister in the UK for an average of 4 months per year and took them shopping and all around europe many many times . I am the bad guy for asking for information about our savings.
My wife has been pysically and verbaly abusive to me too many times to count and always gets worse when I ask her why we are still living with her mom and dad in the pubjab and questions about our savings.
I don't speak any form of indian and am isolated and at the end of my teather , I can see no way out.
What to do ?
Agreed with my wife ,( India but now has a british passport as married to me) to sell up in the UK and move to india (Delhi) , there we would be far enough from her family to be independent and start new small business in india.
I transfered all our savings into her account as we had been married for 15 years and she had an Indian bank account.
After months of asking , she never gave me a heads up on our savings/finances and what should have been 2 months living in a two bedroom flat above her family is not 2 years.
Her family is against me , eventhough I looked after her mom,dad and sister in the UK for an average of 4 months per year and took them shopping and all around europe many many times . I am the bad guy for asking for information about our savings.
My wife has been pysically and verbaly abusive to me too many times to count and always gets worse when I ask her why we are still living with her mom and dad in the pubjab and questions about our savings.
I don't speak any form of indian and am isolated and at the end of my teather , I can see no way out.
What to do ?
You're living with her parents.
Being the obedient daughter in their household, she may be following their will which may customarily out trump you as merely her husband in their household in that country. While I think they put her up to it, she appears not to have resisted too vigourously.
Being the obedient daughter in their household, she may be following their will which may customarily out trump you as merely her husband in their household in that country. While I think they put her up to it, she appears not to have resisted too vigourously.
Wow am I ever glad I read this. I certainly understand why you had transferred your $ into her account; it was convenient; your trust was implicit; and after 15 yrs of what one would assume was a happy marriage up to that point, yes, who wouldn't. I would've as well.
So if I'm understanding you accurately, you have been living in India now for ~2 years. She has exclusive access to your money, has abruptly changed w.r.t her behavior towards you relative to how she was in the U.K., and despite your largesse and demonstrated kindness and respect, you're on the outs with her family. That's quite nightmarish. Smacks of prejudice.
Don't know what to say except that I sympathize with you. If it were me, I'd be patient yet critically aware, constantly plotting and planning, 'sneaking around' even, in order to get account info, password, pin # etc. And when and if a window of opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't hesitate to make a beeline for the bank, drain the account, go to the airport and, ditching all your stuff at the house, get the hell outta there! Back to cool Britannia where you belong. Then hire a good lawyer and divorce her a** ASAP.
When she tries to take legal action against you, at least it will occur within the British legal system so it will be fair, and likely to your advantage. Good luck! Earlier I said I was glad I read your post. And I am. It only reinforces something I am coming to believe: the importance of never really trusting anyone 100%, and the forever ongoing need to remain both financially and emotionally independent, no matter what. Hope things work out for you. Thanks.
So if I'm understanding you accurately, you have been living in India now for ~2 years. She has exclusive access to your money, has abruptly changed w.r.t her behavior towards you relative to how she was in the U.K., and despite your largesse and demonstrated kindness and respect, you're on the outs with her family. That's quite nightmarish. Smacks of prejudice.
Don't know what to say except that I sympathize with you. If it were me, I'd be patient yet critically aware, constantly plotting and planning, 'sneaking around' even, in order to get account info, password, pin # etc. And when and if a window of opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't hesitate to make a beeline for the bank, drain the account, go to the airport and, ditching all your stuff at the house, get the hell outta there! Back to cool Britannia where you belong. Then hire a good lawyer and divorce her a** ASAP.
When she tries to take legal action against you, at least it will occur within the British legal system so it will be fair, and likely to your advantage. Good luck! Earlier I said I was glad I read your post. And I am. It only reinforces something I am coming to believe: the importance of never really trusting anyone 100%, and the forever ongoing need to remain both financially and emotionally independent, no matter what. Hope things work out for you. Thanks.
i'm so sorry to hear of your mistreatment. So unfair. The fact that your wife has been continually physically and verbally abusive makes me think that there's not much hope of you getting to a better place. First she would have to admit to her having anger issues, and it doesn't sound like she might. It sounds like it would be best for you to go back to the UK, if a family member would help you get there.
I hate to say it, but maybe she isn't 100% happy with your marriage and might consider it a bargain to be free of the marriage herself, so much so that she might give you air fare back to the UK for a divorce.?
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I hate to say it, but maybe she isn't 100% happy with your marriage and might consider it a bargain to be free of the marriage herself, so much so that she might give you air fare back to the UK for a divorce.?
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You can't return to the UK? Any family in the UK to help you? You have no money at all?
Sounds like she has other plans for your money vs. opening a "business." That's why she doesn't want you to ask questions.
Sounds like she has other plans for your money vs. opening a "business." That's why she doesn't want you to ask questions.
People on the receiving end of largesse can become very nasty and ungrateful.
Ask a trusted friend to refer you to a lawyer, to explore your options here.
You're retired and not gainfully employed? No new business was started in India?
Ask a trusted friend to refer you to a lawyer, to explore your options here.
You're retired and not gainfully employed? No new business was started in India?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
