Aa
Ex having a baby
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 10 years and lived together for 3. We broke up a little over a year ago. We didn't have a bad breakup. We started dating again and the girl he had been dating comes and says she's pregnant. I don't know what to do. It completely broke my heart knowing that he's going to be a dad with someone else but I love him and don't see myself with anyone else. He tells me he doesn't want this girl and has no feelings for her. She was just his rebound, but he is going to take care of his responsibility.
Should I let go and move on or should I stay because he's the love of my life?
Should I let go and move on or should I stay because he's the love of my life?
She was a rebound (I totally get that because I had mine, too) and he was honest with her from the beginning. He told her he didn't want a relationship, this is why she said she was pregnant. When she told him that she was, he told her that it didn't change anything between them and that he would be there for the baby. He never talked bad about her even after he found out it was all a lie.
As far as our relationship, we were at different stages of our lives. Our relationship was amazing, though. He has caught up and we've both changed a lot for the better. This is why we started dating again. I really do believe everything will work out for us and that he is "the one"
As far as our relationship, we were at different stages of our lives. Our relationship was amazing, though. He has caught up and we've both changed a lot for the better. This is why we started dating again. I really do believe everything will work out for us and that he is "the one"
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, yes. we want to make sure our man is quality material to go the long haul with them. peace
Ace241 made Very good !!, Very valid points !!, pregnancy or no pregnancy, with the other person. Pregnancy would be a 'result' of the possible shortcomings (standards, values, character) of the person You are planning a future with.
ALL the points she/he made are IMPORTANT considerations in moving forward - again, pregnancy or no.
GoodLuck
ALL the points she/he made are IMPORTANT considerations in moving forward - again, pregnancy or no.
GoodLuck
If she is pregnant, I'd cut my losses. Ditto if she isn't. Fact is, you two broke up once, probably for valid reasons on both sides. Couples who haven't given themselves enough time to get over the heartache and re-establish their independence tend to get back together, but the problems that led to the initial break up have never been resolved.
More over, your ex clearly buried his feelings in sex with a woman he states he didn't have feelings for. I find people who bash ex-partners too eagerly are likely two-faced... what sob stories did he tell her about YOU? Also, he didn't use protection - a sure sign he's not big into planning or foresight, and not the ideal qualities we look for in a partner. Finally, a child from a previous partner will mean his ex-lover will always be in your lives... are you prepared to deal with that? Think about the arguments they'll have in raising the child, which you won't have as much stake in, as well as the snide remarks, petty bickering and attempts at arousing jealously. Their history will always be a part of your future.
More over, your ex clearly buried his feelings in sex with a woman he states he didn't have feelings for. I find people who bash ex-partners too eagerly are likely two-faced... what sob stories did he tell her about YOU? Also, he didn't use protection - a sure sign he's not big into planning or foresight, and not the ideal qualities we look for in a partner. Finally, a child from a previous partner will mean his ex-lover will always be in your lives... are you prepared to deal with that? Think about the arguments they'll have in raising the child, which you won't have as much stake in, as well as the snide remarks, petty bickering and attempts at arousing jealously. Their history will always be a part of your future.
I agree, try to stay calm.
I think the odds are very good that she isn't pregnant with his baby.
I think the odds are very good that she isn't pregnant with his baby.
Try to stay calm. It's not like he cheated when you were together, and presumably when you were broken up there was no prohibition against seeing other people. This is one of those things that happens to people who have sex. It all could be a sham, or he might not wind up to be the dad. This will take months to resolve, don't let it knock the two of you off your foundation. There will be plenty of time to decide how you feel about it if the baby proves to be his once she gives birth.
He IS going to take care of the baby and be there, but he wants to make sure the baby is his.
There's no real evidence. He hasn't seen her in over a month but she sent him a picture of her ultrasound and told him they're having a boy. He already told her that he wants a DNA test. There are many things that seem suspicious to me...making me think that she's not pregnant, but I'm also preparing myself in case she really is.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If she is pregnant for sure, I'd let him sort out that side of things. It's hard to do but once there is a baby in the picture, I think that takes precedence. Sorry you are hurting. peace
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