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Avatar universal

Feeling undesired

My girlfriend and i are planning a wedding and moving into a bigger apartment together. I am 30 and she is 20. I know she loves me! I don't know if its the stress of all thats going on, but we don't have sex like we used to. Lately we have been arguing more, but i just keep telling myself its just that we are both a little stressed. I don't know what to do??? I have to get on the internet and look at porn to release pressure myself, and she is fine with that. I know she loves me, but i don't know if she is still in love with me. This girl is my everything!!! I just want to feel like i am wanted sexually. We still kiss, cuddle, i mean we do everything together, except have sex......please help me.....
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Avatar universal
I hate to rain on your parade, but you say you bothhave been arguing a lot, have you asked yourself why, or have you asked her why? also why do you hesitate to ask about the sex, you say it was great, the way i look at it this will be for life. when you say I DO, there is no going back unless it is divorce, if you have even have a very small doubt, i would think on it, and talk with her, she may be wanting to back out, but then again, it could be stress, buti myself would want to be sure before i made a commitment for life I believe all of the above gave good advice, but this is something you both have to want  luck  jo
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Avatar universal
Thanx for the advice, i'll get back to you, have a good day!
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902589 tn?1268148853
Yes give her peace on the sex subject for sure. With all the stress that comes with planning a wedding and moving I would say relax about the sex. I know sex is important in any relationship but sex is not the only thing to a relationship. I still say try and get away from the normal everyday and go somewhere. Heck pack up a little picnic lunch and go have a romantic afternoon at the park just hanging out and relaxing with each other, no talk of the upcoming wedding or anything stressful like i said previously. You don't have to have money to get out of the normal everyday stuff and relax together.
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Avatar universal
She gives me tasks and things to do for the wedding so i feel like i am doing my part. We don't have any extra $$$ to go anywhere for a day or two. I know i'm just trippin' for no real reason. I just needed a females opinion on this matter. I need to be patient and give her some peace on the sex subject. Thanx for the help megochick101!
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145992 tn?1341345074
Women and men are so different.  Men think that if a woman is not having sex with him that she doesn't love him or want him and that is not the case at all.  Women's sex drives can be affected by stress, by hormone fluctuations.  It doesn't mean that she isn't "in love" with you.  When she gets pregnant at some point, she may not be interested in having sex at all....so you need to be able to be very mature about this.  Tell her how you feel, communicate with her but also understand her as well.
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Avatar universal
Well, right now we can't really afford to go out to dinner, i made her a cute but cheesy card with hi-liters, gave her flowers, cook her dinner all the time, make sure the house is clean, always tell her she is gorgeous and sexy and all that goes with that. I know we both need to relax! Thanx for the help Rosa20!
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376148 tn?1309899577
hahah i think we do!
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902589 tn?1268148853
Oh i just thought of something too. My brother in law and his(now) wife recently got married and she refused to have sex with him too before the wedding. They stopped having sex a month before hand, but they lived together and she wanted to stop sex so that their wedding night was special ya know? How long until your wedding? Maybe your fiance just wants to make the wedding night more exiting and special by prolonging the sex?
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902589 tn?1268148853
We think alike i see lol
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902589 tn?1268148853
It's most likely the stress of the wedding and the stress from moving into a new place that is effecting her sex drive. Is she doing all the planning fro the wedding or do you help(or i should say is she letting you help lol) Most cases the woman handle all the planning of it and don't let their partners get involved and that just puts all the extra stress on her.

Maybe you two can just get away for even a day or two to reconnect and to not worry about the wedding and everything. just take a day off from all the stress and planning and both of you agree just to spend quality time with each other with no mention of the wedding. Just you two having a good time. I don't know where you live so i don't know what's available to you, but you could spend time at the beach, go on a weekend camp trip, go see a play  whatever you guys like to do. And just agree before hand that this is to relax and enjoy each other and no stressing/talking or worrying about the wedding.

Good luck and congrats on your wedding! Hope you two have a wonderful life together!
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376148 tn?1309899577
let me first start off by telling you that sometimes us girls just arent in the mood!! lol But the stress of the wedding and moving can taper things alot....that could be the very reason she dosent want to have sex.....do you really think she would still be planning a wedding and moving into a bigger place if she wasent IN LOVE with you!! I know i wouldnt i would have more of a reason to leave if i wasent in lovee with my bf and all this was going on! Y dont you try and seduce her by taking her to a nice dinner and then bringing her back to strawberries and whipped cream! Do something romantic.....bring her hhome flowers and tell her how sexy she iss or how much you just want her right there!! Maby you could try doing it in different places..all thoes little things can spice things up...It never hurts to try right! I think you both just need a little time to relax...y not stop the planning for a few days and just be with each other!! I think you are both fine and i dont think you have anything to worry about! Good luck and let us know how things are going!! Hope i helped some!
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