Ah, that's hard. Sounds like she went home and got a 'talking to' from her parents. So much so that she is in a place of feeling torn. I hope that this can be overcome. Love, unfortunately, doesn't conquer all. I'd like to think it does but in reality, it can't. If she is valuing her parents opinion and picturing the risks involved with being with you, it's hard. Example is that indeed, it is a huge deal to pick up and move. She's a woman and I don't know what her job prospects are. But that she is all of a sudden talking about being too dependent on you when hey, she talked about marrying you and having a full life together, this sounds like a topic her parents are really hammering her on. Secondly, another risk is that her parents will never accept you. Silly reasons they have not to! But none the less, if she wants a peaceful life, she may view being with you as something that is going to keep her from having cohesiveness. Ugh. And her parents are possibly making a big deal about being away from them for when you two would have kids, etc. and are encouraging her to be very practical. I don't know.
But I think if I were you, she owes you an explanation. A simple "I'm not trying to push you . . ." but I need to know what the deal is. What's going on? Why is this change happening?
How open are you to moving to where she lives?
When you say that you live in the UK and she lives in Germany, are you saying she is German and you are British, in other words, citizens of those countries who have lived there all your lives? Or are you there for work and are from somewhere else? She met you when she was 20, is that correct? I am thinking the problem is that (is she is German and thinking of leaving her home and the culture she has known all her life, for good) possibly she is too young to make this leap. It would be one thing if you were both cosmopolitan job nomads who have lived in several countries and are neither of you in your country of birth now, but it's another for a quite young woman who is from only one place to contemplate leaving it forever. Would you consider moving to Germany, as specialmom asks? Not that it would be easy if her parents are not happy with you, but it might solve your girlfriend's issues.
I wanted to see how it is going? Any update? Hope you are doing alright.