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Financial problems with Relationships
I'm currently in a relationship with a guy whom has a considerable amount of financial debt, whom is currently living with me. He knows that I can't support him. It's all I can do to support myself & my kids. He's not able to contribute financially. He currently has a job & is finding side jobs to do. However, due to other financial issues that have resently come up, it's very hard for him to contribute financially. Other than this financial burden, the relationship is great. Not sure what to do. ????
COMMUNITY LEADER
If he is a great guy, ask him to move out and continue dating him. I'm going to be dead honest with you------------- I would not tie my life to someone that had managed their finances and life so badly that they can no longer live independently. Yeah, everyone makes mistakes----- but it does say something about his decision making. No matter how great he is, I wouldn't be able to risk a life with him or risk my kids having a life with him.
If you can't break it off entirely, ask him to move out and date him. See if he is able to pull his life together. good luck
If you can't break it off entirely, ask him to move out and date him. See if he is able to pull his life together. good luck
By "forever", do you literally mean his whole lifetime? If that's the case he should probably look into a bankruptcy. If he's gotten himself so deep in debt that he literally will not ever in his life be able to make enough money to support himself, that's what the bankruptcy laws are for.
He's working on it, however, it's going to take him forever to pay it off. I really feel for him, however, he has gotten into this mess & he should get out of it. By the time they take money out of his paycheck, he has very little to rely on for the rest of the week.
Your description of his financial issues is vague.
Is this temporary - as in, in a couple years will he be able to contribute, or is he somehow in debt so deep that he may never get out of it?
Is he currently trying to resolve it?
Is this temporary - as in, in a couple years will he be able to contribute, or is he somehow in debt so deep that he may never get out of it?
Is he currently trying to resolve it?
He's been living with me for about a year. My kids do come first & they are taken care of. He is not a couch potato, Thank God. He does help around the house physically. He's definately not a slob. I know alot of relationships that don't work due to financial issues & wanted to here what other peoples experiences were on this topic. Every relationship has it's up & downs. It's up to the individual with what their willing to do.
First thing you don't want to do is get pregnant. With that being said, I guess as long as you can maintain supporting yourself and your kids and he supports himself, it is ok. As long as he not a burden and is helping around the house like fixing stuff, cuting the grass, taking care your your kids, etc. Don't just let him lie around not doing anything. Good luck.
If your relationship is currently great, it won't be for long if something doesn't change. How long has he been living with you?
It sounds as if you are, for the most part, supporting yourself and kids AND him...and you said yourself that this can't continue because you can't afford it. Eventually, finances will get so tight that it'll be impossible for you to not go into debt along with him, and you'll resent him for it.
However great your relationship is now, you need to disconnect that from the reality of what is right in front of you. Your first and most important responsibility are your kids. They should come first, not some guy, no matter what the circumstances. You can't and should not risk depriving them in any way of what they need, and more than anything, they need you. They count on you to make the best decisions for them and take care of them, not some other adult who should be taking care of himself.
I don't see why you can't continue a great relationship with a good guy, but he should move out and support himself so you can keep your priorities focused on you and your children. His place should not be in your home, counting on you to be his fallback support system when he can't make his own ends meet.
It sounds as if you are, for the most part, supporting yourself and kids AND him...and you said yourself that this can't continue because you can't afford it. Eventually, finances will get so tight that it'll be impossible for you to not go into debt along with him, and you'll resent him for it.
However great your relationship is now, you need to disconnect that from the reality of what is right in front of you. Your first and most important responsibility are your kids. They should come first, not some guy, no matter what the circumstances. You can't and should not risk depriving them in any way of what they need, and more than anything, they need you. They count on you to make the best decisions for them and take care of them, not some other adult who should be taking care of himself.
I don't see why you can't continue a great relationship with a good guy, but he should move out and support himself so you can keep your priorities focused on you and your children. His place should not be in your home, counting on you to be his fallback support system when he can't make his own ends meet.
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