Guilt is killing me for hurting someone

[Butterflydreaming]

Hey guys. So I went on vacation and decided learn how to dance. I got interested of my dance teacher (he was in his 20s) but seemed to have a girlfriend. I tried my best to not fall for his flirting and respect the girl, but I really liked him and a few days before going back home I accepted a date. We went out, kissed and everything for several days but I never slept with him. So now being back home I feel HORRIBLE for doing this to another woman. I kind of feel disguised of myself and want to ask her for forgiveness. I feel so sorry for being the reason someone is hurt and for being the reason a guy cheated on his girl like i feel angry for existing and being someone attractive who was the reason for someone cheating. He broke up with her (they were breaking up) when I went out with him already. But still i havent been able to sleep i feel like **** for not having more selfrespect as a woman and for still liking the guy after all.. please what can i do with this anxiety? it's all i think about and I'm really mean to myself in my thoughts..

[specialmom]

You know, this is my take on it.  I think you are still just thinking about him period.  Still want to be involved with him and are not wanting to let this go as something that happened and is just over.  Worry, guilt, wanting to contact his girlfriend or him is all part of just wanting to stay connected to it.  That's a guess.

Otherwise, live and learn.  He never was fully available and you wouldn't want him anyway, he steps out on girlfriends and plays around with other people (you included).  He wasn't available and yet HE chose to go out with you and kiss and whatever else.  He's low character and you just got swept away.  So, try to get the thinking part of things going when you are in a situation like this rather than letting yourself get carried away.  Next time you'll be smarter.  Go only for available guys.  

good luck

[Butterflydreaming]

Thank you Specialmom for your answer! I will really take your words and advice with me!!

[Paxiled]

This doesn't sound like anxiety, it sounds like depression.  Is this how you always feel, or is this the first time?  Did you go out with him to boost your ego, or because you genuinely saw something there you wanted to last?  Is your guilt going to make the situation any different, and have you learned something from this that you won't do again?  

[Butterflydreaming]

Thank you for answering. Yes I feel like this very often, especially when I let people down. Its like i disappear in a bubble where I feel a horrible guilt and I can't even function. I didn't go out with him to boost my ego I just really liked him and tried my best to avoid it before going back home, but it happened.    Yes I learned, I won't ever do it again because i know how bad i would feel. And no the guilt won't make it better but it's something i can't control and thats why im asking for help about what i could do about it.. thank you